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Holiday gift ideas

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It’s that time of year.

If you are Donald Trump, all you want for Christmas is another high profile mass shooting. If you do the math, we can expect about 30 or 31 more mass shootings this year. Trump ought to get a couple of high profile ones out of that.

Merry Christmas, Donald!

For the rest of us, here’s an idea for a unique gift that almost everyone on your holiday gift list can use.

Give the ones you love a bullet-proof vest, or other types of body armor.

Sure…if we all did this, everyone would receive a bunch of these things. That’s okay…several vests can be useful. Stash one in the basement, one upstairs. Keep one at work. Stash one in the car…and one in the other car. Use one for stinky stuff, like hiking or running. And maybe keep a few spare around for guests with whom you are sharing an intimate hostile fire situation.

Brilliant, no?

Oh…and if Ben Carson is on you holiday list, pick him up some fresh hummus and a shiny new foreign policy adviser.

Comments

  1. 1

    If wingers like Ari Fleischer and Politico keep beating up on Carson, how’re Carson supporters supposed to blame the conspiracy of dirty hippies for his downfall?

  2. 2

    @1 If Carson loses, it’ll be because he didn’t thump his Bible hard enough. To win the evangelical vote you gotta look and sound sincere even though you’re not. Most of the time they just give you money to use for God’s work.

  3. 3

    To win the evangelical vote you gotta look and sound sincere even though you’re not. Most of the time they just give you money to use for God’s work.

    Can we get a front man to look and sound sincere? Then we could get lots of that evangelical money. Better than working for a living.

  4. 4

    @3,
    That really isn’t the play. The guys doing the best in terms of pumping political money out of the thumpers are the 501c hustlers. So far most of them are using around 85% of what they raise from these rubes for operating expenses. Think Timmmmeh with a bible. They are “cause driven” and the cause is almost always some trumped up offense to the sweet baby Jeebus. Starbucks cup guy, The Center for Medical Progress, etc.

    Running parallel are the law firms poised to generate billings by “going into battle for Gawd”. There are at least four law firms that I know of here in the PNW that are organized around this bullshit. They find some victim of the jack-booted hippie socialist welfare state to represent and then go run a go-fundme. At the same time they sell books and speaking engagements. Dozens more nationwide.

  5. 5

    From previous thread. I read all the +260 comments and I didn’t have anything to say about any of them except this one.

    “British pop group Coldplay (never heard of ‘em) will headline the Superbowl halftime show.”

    Never heard of em? Really? Their new album comes out tomorrow.

    If we had more people in this world like Chris Martin, or if all were like him, then we wouldn’t have to use the word “mental” to describe the white terrorists – they wouldn’t exist.

  6. 6

    If you’re the San Bernardino Police Department you’re wishing for some touch-up paint for those militarized vehicles which pretty much did exactly what they were intended to do.

  8. 8

    @4 Ambulance chasing used to be a respectable occupation before these grifters ruined it for everyone.

  12. 12

    Stocking stuffer ideas.

    1. Die Hard. Classic Christmas movie.

    2. Gift card to Lucky Gunner.

  14. 14

    Remarkably, over on the OT, the Fuckwad is reporting that he has documented evidence of the San Bernie shooters being directed by ISIS. Check it out! Amazing!

  20. 20

    He was upset Coldplay got the gig at the Super Bowl so Scott Weiland went and got a grave to spin in.

  21. 21

    More than just a mental case, he was abused as a child.

    San Bernardino shooter Syed Farook grew up in abusive home http://www.nydailynews.com/new.....-1.2453836

    You would think that one man and one woman by products wouldn’t be so mental and more well natured. I wonder if he ever thought his Dad was a Neanderthal with a small penis?

    I wonder if Puffy could explain if this is how God works.

  22. 22

    @20 too bad it wasn’t Ted Nugent and one of his presidential running mate friend(s).

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