Song of Solomon 4:5-6
Your breasts are perfect;
they are twin deer
feeding among lilies.
I will hasten to those hills
sprinkled with sweet perfume
and stay there till sunrise.
Discuss.
Can’t Bring Yourself to Type the Word “Ass”?
Eager to share our brilliant political commentary and blunt media criticism, but too genteel to link to horsesass.org? Well, good news, ladies: we also answer to HASeattle.com, because, you know, whatever. You're welcome!
Goldy ….
You must be lonely today.
Is there any better evidence of Me than the beauty of woman?
I am that I am.
goldberg, does it say anywhere in the bible something along the lines “i am everywhere, i am eternal, i know every thought before you think it, but…..its fine with me, bro, to have a government that seperates church and state, dude.”
What happens after sunrise, the sweet smell of donkey dick? [for Marcus Bachmann and the rest of the Republicans].
TPM – “Missouri Lt. Gov and probable gubernatorial candidate Peter Kinder (R) has been responding to allegations he frequented a strip club and stalked one of the strippers. Kinder says he did frequent the strip club but eventually realized it wasn’t consistent with his Christian lifestyle.”
Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia – Puddy.
Troubling — Solomon evidently had a thing for goats too:
She Responds:
Yeah, baby!
Yeah!!! Let’s not forget a cigarette and a glass of orange juice afterward.
Nevermind — I’m sleepy.
For a better perspective on the one true God of Creation and Laws, please read the greatest poem ever written in any language, Psalm 19-
Psalm 19
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
I’m pretty sure that was written by Jerry Garcia.
In the meantime, it is sad when great erotic poetry is lost to people to shallow to feel the beauty of a woman’s breast in her lover’s hand.
I am that I am.
@9, God: “Great” erotic poetry?
Really?
Aren’t you being a little biased, being this is “your” book?
BTW, God: There’s a bunch of fucked up stuff going on in the world right now. Why aren’t you attending to it? Why the fuck are you here shilling your own sappy schlock? Honestly, God, your priorities suck!
In the good news department, donations to Rachel’s charity have topped $1.2 million this morning.
http://www.mycharitywater.org/.....n_id=16396
Christ’s ordeal on the cross was nothing compared to what this woman suffers at the hands of the cruel liberal media,
http://videocafe.crooksandliar.....organ-bord
Victimhood. IOKIYAR
@3 Haven’t you figured out yet that all the misfits end up in the Republican Party because the Democrats won’t put up with them?
@9 You’re not God — you’re an imposter. The real God is perfect, and therefore knows how to spell “too” and doesn’t make typos.
they are twin deer
feeding among lilies
I hate it when the deer get into my garden and eat my flowers.
“The heart of the wise inclines to the right,but the heart of the fool to the left .”Ecclesiastes 10:2 (NIV)
Thus sayeth the Lord. Amen.
Can’t get any simpler than that.
Yeah, and I bet that @17 is going to be really surprised the day he finds out that women don’t actually walk around with twin deer tied to their chests.
It can really be problematic when you can’t figure out which verses you should–and, perhaps more importantly, should not–take literally.
Damn this looks like a great movie!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?f.....J1v6oFHefc
And John Goodman must have had gastric bypass surgery.
Goldy,
Now this is some Bible I can get down with – more of this please!
Note the contrast with the official Bible Study verse, and the one mewling moron @8 listed:
Breasts, lilies, sweet perfume, staying ’til sunrise
versus
Statutes, command, fear, decree, servant is warned, hidden faults, willful sins, then I will be blameless innocent of great transgression.
Indeed, what more do you need? Republican Christianists are a fear-based, joy-loathing, authority-worshiping, soul-crushing, servile, do-as-your-told toadies for whomever they think has the most power.
Calling them whores insults sex-workers everywhere.
@11 Zotz ..
Why would I dot that? Am I your creeation?
What would you do?
As for my book … everything is mine, The Story of O as well as the Song of Solomon. Only I know what part I wrote but it does seem that the author did not see fit to claim I had written either of these works and took credit for themselves.
I am that I am.
@22: Just jerking your chains, God — whips and chains that is, you filthy, kinky sky-being you.
It’s all clearly an allegory about love for the Church. And if there’s one thing we all know, the Church is a total babe.
Zotz ..
No chains ro Jerk .. not part of my thing.
Of course, if that turns you on???
@25, God: My riff apparently went way over your head, dude.
(Wow, imagine that!)
According to you, chains are definitely “your” thing.
Leaving aside that it’s definitely NOT poetry, you claimed ownership of The Story of O and whined that others took credit:
So yeah, I was jerking “your” chains.
I’m thinking you need to take a rest and get some new writers. Your schtick, is, well, schtick.
13. Christ’s ordeal on the cross was something Steve and not to be trivialized by non-believers such as yourself.
Our ordeal in putting up with dumbshits like this guy is not to be trivialized.
@2 Yes, in fact. When God walked among us and spoke of “rendering unto Caesar”, a passage that’s rather inconvenient to the “government-and-taxes-are-evil” crowd. In fact, saying something like that around the teabag folks might just get you…well, nailed to a cross.
I’m pretty sure that was written by Jerry Garcia
I am fairly certain you were thinking of Country Joe MacDonald, way back in the mid-60s when he wrote the song Happiness is a Porpoise Mouth:
The white ducks fly on past the sun,
Their wings flash silver at the moon.
While waters rush down the mountain tongue
My organs play a circus tune.
I dance to the wonder of your feet
And sing to the joy of your knees.
The cold white dress on the mountain breast
Paints the frozen trees.
The maple plants patterns in the sky
Its leaves to kiss the wind
While scores of glittering bugs and flies
Dance polkas on her limbs.
I whistle symphonies of your face
And laugh for your hair so fine.
In startled greens of playground grass
A child jumps rope to rhyme.
Reeds and brass, the marching drums
Make a joyous sound
Trees bend low with nuts and plums
Then fall to find the ground.
I hunger for your porpoise mouth
And stand erect for love.
The sun burns up the winter sky
And all the earth is love.
I hate it when The Word of The Lord gives me a chubby.
@31: +*infinity.
28. The ordeal is putting up with Christian bashing on Sunday and every othr day of the week by Christian loathing Steve.
@33
On Sunday? I bash Christianists every day of the week – and twice on Sunday!
Did you guys see this:
A study found that tea party members are “Authoritarian, nativist, fearful of change and libertarian.”
Doh.
If trolls didn’t hate unions so much, they could start one and they just might get the troll apprenticeship-level training they so desperately fucking need. As it is, though, we’ll no doubt continue to sorely need better trolls for the forseeable future.
Damn if these right-wing fascist movements don’t attract some really fucked up people. And stupid. I mean, really, really fucking stupid.
@33, To the waste of skin that is the person playing Tom Darien:
He probably doesn’t meet your twisted definition of Christian, and he has way too much dignity and integrity to point it out, but I assure you that my friend Steve is a follower of Christ.
If you want to lob feces at someone who relishes mocking teatarded xtrianist wingnuts like you, monkeyboy, that would be me.
Eat shit and die, motherfucker.
@36
I’m with Zotz.
@27
Wearing your ‘faith’ on your sleeve – very bad sign.
For those Christians whose embrace of that faith leads them to do good, to making life better for others, to creating joy, to living the Golden Rule, good on you. I’m all for it. It’s not my brand of vodka, but go for it.
What I deride and mock and point and laugh at are the tribal Christianists like yourself who use religious affiliation as a litmus test, as a cudgel to beat others not on your team. Shallow, authority-worshiping, greedy, cruel, fucktards hell-bent on destroying this glorious earth and our democracy in obscene pursuit of cartoonish ‘end-times’ and the apocalypse.
As my friend Zotz sayz, Eat shit and die, motherfucer!