HA Bible Study

Song of Solomon 4:5-6
Your breasts are perfect;
they are twin deer
feeding among lilies.
I will hasten to those hills
sprinkled with sweet perfume
and stay there till sunrise.



  1. 1


    Goldy ….

    You must be lonely today.

    Is there any better evidence of Me than the beauty of woman?

    I am that I am.

  2. 2

    manlyman spews:

    goldberg, does it say anywhere in the bible something along the lines “i am everywhere, i am eternal, i know every thought before you think it, but…..its fine with me, bro, to have a government that seperates church and state, dude.”

  3. 3

    Gman spews:

    What happens after sunrise, the sweet smell of donkey dick? [for Marcus Bachmann and the rest of the Republicans].

  4. 4

    Gman spews:

    TPM – “Missouri Lt. Gov and probable gubernatorial candidate Peter Kinder (R) has been responding to allegations he frequented a strip club and stalked one of the strippers. Kinder says he did frequent the strip club but eventually realized it wasn’t consistent with his Christian lifestyle.”

    Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia – Puddy.

  5. 5

    Zotz sez: Tehadists are Koch suckers! spews:

    Troubling — Solomon evidently had a thing for goats too:

    …Your hair tosses about as gracefully as goats coming…

  6. 6

    Zotz sez: Tehadists are Koch suckers! spews:

    She Responds:

    16: Let the north wind blow, the south wind too! Let them spread the aroma of my garden, so the one I love may enter and taste its delicious fruits.

    Yeah, baby!

  7. 7

    Irv Kupcinet spews:

    Yeah!!! Let’s not forget a cigarette and a glass of orange juice afterward.

    Nevermind — I’m sleepy.

  8. 8

    williewonka spews:

    For a better perspective on the one true God of Creation and Laws, please read the greatest poem ever written in any language, Psalm 19-
    Psalm 19
    For the director of music. A psalm of David.

    1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
    the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
    2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
    night after night they reveal knowledge.
    3 They have no speech, they use no words;
    no sound is heard from them.
    4 Yet their voice[b] goes out into all the earth,
    their words to the ends of the world.
    In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
    5 It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
    like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
    6 It rises at one end of the heavens
    and makes its circuit to the other;
    nothing is deprived of its warmth.

    7 The law of the LORD is perfect,
    refreshing the soul.
    The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
    making wise the simple.
    8 The precepts of the LORD are right,
    giving joy to the heart.
    The commands of the LORD are radiant,
    giving light to the eyes.
    9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
    enduring forever.
    The decrees of the LORD are firm,
    and all of them are righteous.

    10 They are more precious than gold,
    than much pure gold;
    they are sweeter than honey,
    than honey from the honeycomb.
    11 By them your servant is warned;
    in keeping them there is great reward.
    12 But who can discern their own errors?
    Forgive my hidden faults.
    13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
    may they not rule over me.
    Then I will be blameless,
    innocent of great transgression.

    14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
    be pleasing in your sight,
    LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

  9. 10


    In the meantime, it is sad when great erotic poetry is lost to people to shallow to feel the beauty of a woman’s breast in her lover’s hand.

    I am that I am.

  10. 11

    Zotz sez: Teahadists are Koch suckers! spews:

    @9, God: “Great” erotic poetry?


    Aren’t you being a little biased, being this is “your” book?

    BTW, God: There’s a bunch of fucked up stuff going on in the world right now. Why aren’t you attending to it? Why the fuck are you here shilling your own sappy schlock? Honestly, God, your priorities suck!

  11. 14

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    @3 Haven’t you figured out yet that all the misfits end up in the Republican Party because the Democrats won’t put up with them?

  12. 15

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    @9 You’re not God — you’re an imposter. The real God is perfect, and therefore knows how to spell “too” and doesn’t make typos.

  13. 16

    Seventy2002 spews:

    they are twin deer
    feeding among lilies

    I hate it when the deer get into my garden and eat my flowers.

  14. 17

    mark spews:

    “The heart of the wise inclines to the right,but the heart of the fool to the left .”Ecclesiastes 10:2 (NIV)
    Thus sayeth the Lord. Amen.
    Can’t get any simpler than that.

  15. 18

    nwgal spews:

    Yeah, and I bet that @17 is going to be really surprised the day he finds out that women don’t actually walk around with twin deer tied to their chests.
    It can really be problematic when you can’t figure out which verses you should–and, perhaps more importantly, should not–take literally.

  16. 21

    Liberal Scientist wonders why Republicans hate America spews:

    Now this is some Bible I can get down with – more of this please!

    Note the contrast with the official Bible Study verse, and the one mewling moron @8 listed:

    Breasts, lilies, sweet perfume, staying ’til sunrise


    Statutes, command, fear, decree, servant is warned, hidden faults, willful sins, then I will be blameless innocent of great transgression.

    Indeed, what more do you need? Republican Christianists are a fear-based, joy-loathing, authority-worshiping, soul-crushing, servile, do-as-your-told toadies for whomever they think has the most power.

    Calling them whores insults sex-workers everywhere.

  17. 22


    @11 Zotz ..

    Why would I dot that? Am I your creeation?

    What would you do?

    As for my book … everything is mine, The Story of O as well as the Song of Solomon. Only I know what part I wrote but it does seem that the author did not see fit to claim I had written either of these works and took credit for themselves.

    I am that I am.

  18. 23

    Zotz sez: Teahadists are Koch suckers! spews:

    @22: Just jerking your chains, God — whips and chains that is, you filthy, kinky sky-being you.

  19. 24

    YellowPup spews:

    It’s all clearly an allegory about love for the Church. And if there’s one thing we all know, the Church is a total babe.

  20. 26

    Zotz sez: Teahadists are Koch suckers! spews:

    @25, God: My riff apparently went way over your head, dude.

    (Wow, imagine that!)

    According to you, chains are definitely “your” thing.

    Leaving aside that it’s definitely NOT poetry, you claimed ownership of The Story of O and whined that others took credit:

    Published in French by Jean-Jacques Pauvert, Story of O is a tale of female submission about a beautiful Parisian fashion photographer, O, who is blindfolded, chained, whipped, branded, pierced, made to wear a mask, and taught to be constantly available for oral, vaginal, and anal intercourse.

    So yeah, I was jerking “your” chains.

    I’m thinking you need to take a rest and get some new writers. Your schtick, is, well, schtick.

  21. 27

    Tom Darien spews:

    13. Christ’s ordeal on the cross was something Steve and not to be trivialized by non-believers such as yourself.

  22. 28


    27. Tom Darien spews:

    13. Christ’s ordeal on the cross was something Steve and not to be trivialized by non-believers such as yourself.

    08/22/2011 at 8:21 am

    Our ordeal in putting up with dumbshits like this guy is not to be trivialized.

  23. 29

    ArtFart spews:

    @2 Yes, in fact. When God walked among us and spoke of “rendering unto Caesar”, a passage that’s rather inconvenient to the “government-and-taxes-are-evil” crowd. In fact, saying something like that around the teabag folks might just get you…well, nailed to a cross.

  24. 30

    spyder spews:

    I’m pretty sure that was written by Jerry Garcia

    I am fairly certain you were thinking of Country Joe MacDonald, way back in the mid-60s when he wrote the song Happiness is a Porpoise Mouth:
    The white ducks fly on past the sun,
    Their wings flash silver at the moon.
    While waters rush down the mountain tongue
    My organs play a circus tune.
    I dance to the wonder of your feet
    And sing to the joy of your knees.
    The cold white dress on the mountain breast
    Paints the frozen trees.

    The maple plants patterns in the sky
    Its leaves to kiss the wind
    While scores of glittering bugs and flies
    Dance polkas on her limbs.
    I whistle symphonies of your face
    And laugh for your hair so fine.
    In startled greens of playground grass
    A child jumps rope to rhyme.

    Reeds and brass, the marching drums
    Make a joyous sound
    Trees bend low with nuts and plums
    Then fall to find the ground.
    I hunger for your porpoise mouth
    And stand erect for love.
    The sun burns up the winter sky
    And all the earth is love.

  25. 33

    Tom Darien spews:

    28. The ordeal is putting up with Christian bashing on Sunday and every othr day of the week by Christian loathing Steve.

  26. 34

    Liberal Scientist wonders why Republicans hate America spews:

    On Sunday? I bash Christianists every day of the week – and twice on Sunday!

    Did you guys see this:
    A study found that tea party members are “Authoritarian, nativist, fearful of change and libertarian.”


  27. 35

    Steve spews:

    If trolls didn’t hate unions so much, they could start one and they just might get the troll apprenticeship-level training they so desperately fucking need. As it is, though, we’ll no doubt continue to sorely need better trolls for the forseeable future.

    Damn if these right-wing fascist movements don’t attract some really fucked up people. And stupid. I mean, really, really fucking stupid.

  28. 36

    Zotz sez: Teahadists are Koch suckers! spews:

    @33, To the waste of skin that is the person playing Tom Darien:

    He probably doesn’t meet your twisted definition of Christian, and he has way too much dignity and integrity to point it out, but I assure you that my friend Steve is a follower of Christ.

    If you want to lob feces at someone who relishes mocking teatarded xtrianist wingnuts like you, monkeyboy, that would be me.

    Eat shit and die, motherfucker.

  29. 37

    Liberal Scientist wonders why Republicans hate America spews:

    I’m with Zotz.

    Wearing your ‘faith’ on your sleeve – very bad sign.

    For those Christians whose embrace of that faith leads them to do good, to making life better for others, to creating joy, to living the Golden Rule, good on you. I’m all for it. It’s not my brand of vodka, but go for it.

    What I deride and mock and point and laugh at are the tribal Christianists like yourself who use religious affiliation as a litmus test, as a cudgel to beat others not on your team. Shallow, authority-worshiping, greedy, cruel, fucktards hell-bent on destroying this glorious earth and our democracy in obscene pursuit of cartoonish ‘end-times’ and the apocalypse.

    As my friend Zotz sayz, Eat shit and die, motherfucer!