by Goldy, 02/27/2011, 6:00 AM

Numbers 31:7-18
They attacked Midian as the Lord had commanded Moses, and they killed all the men. All five of the Midianite kings—Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur, and Reba—died in the battle. They also killed Balaam son of Beor with the sword.

Then the Israelite army captured the Midianite women and children and seized their cattle and flocks and all their wealth as plunder. They burned all the towns and villages where the Midianites had lived. After they had gathered the plunder and captives, both people and animals, they brought them all to Moses and Eleazar the priest, and to the whole community of Israel, which was camped on the plains of Moab beside the Jordan River, across from Jericho. Moses, Eleazar the priest, and all the leaders of the community went to meet them outside the camp. But Moses was furious with all the generals and captains[a] who had returned from the battle.

“Why have you let all the women live?” he demanded. “These are the very ones who followed Balaam’s advice and caused the people of Israel to rebel against the Lord at Mount Peor. They are the ones who caused the plague to strike the Lord’s people. So kill all the boys and all the women who have had intercourse with a man. Only the young girls who are virgins may live; you may keep them for yourselves.

Discuss.

13 Responses to “HA Bible Study”

1. Liberal Scientist spews:

Lovely basis for a moral code you got there.

2. Zotz sez: Teahadists are Koch suckers! spews:

@1: Jewish Exceptionalism… a prime example — among many in the “bible” — of the thinking (or lack thereof) that led to the American version.

3. Gman spews:

Moses was a homo.

5. Shawn Paulson spews:

Kinda mutes the question, “Who would Jesus walk with in Wisconsin?”

6. God spews:

So?

This idea of people emulating Gods, is one of the things so wrong with Christianity. I sure as I am never said you should emulate my prophets.

Why would I degrade Myself by becoming one of you? Heck, if that story were true, I would, sure as I am that I am, have kicked the Romans’ where it would have hurt before I would have let them crucify Me.

Even sillier is the idea that I would want you to emulate my prophets. Nowhere in the Torah do I say that you should go kill Egyptian Labor bosses or turn your rigid pole into a wriggly snake. TI must admit that I never did understand why that bit impressed Ramses.

Moses was no more Me than Goldy or SJ is Me. Goldy, at least, is a prophet. So I say unto you:

This idea that my munchkins should emulate Me is just plain silly. You just don’t have My powers!

Study the words of my prophet Goldy, not his deeds.

I am that I am.

7. God spews:

@5 Shawn

“Who would Jesus walk with in Wisconsin?”

Jesus? He sides with the Romans.

Me? I sided with MLK, Ghandi, Moses, bar Kochba, Alinsky, and the folks in the streets of Tripoli.

Do as I say, not as Jesus did.

I am that I am.

8. God spews:

@1 Lib Sci

“Lovely basis for a moral code you got there.”

If Moses bad behavior makes you think of the right things to do, then the Torah and I have succeeded.

Thank you.

I am that I am.

9. Deathfrogg spews:

@ 6

Nowhere in the Torah do I say that you should go kill Egyptian Labor bosses or turn your rigid pole into a wriggly snake. TI must admit that I never did understand why that bit impressed Ramses.

Funny, my wriggly snake turns into a rigid pole at the drop of a hat.

And maybe Ramses was just easily fooled by cheap sleight of hand tricks?

10. God spews:

Ahhhh …

BUT the magic was in slight of hand turning a rigid pole into a wriggly snake.

Do you suppose that Moses was threatening Ramses’s manhood? (hint)

I am that I am.

11. serf you right spews:

can we get some quotes out of the koran, please?

I hear they believe in one god, prayer, the devil, heaven and hell, mary was a virgin and jesus was a super duper messenger from god, they’re kind of close cousins to christianity and judaism….?

thanks.

12. Deathfrogg spews:

@ 10

Y’know, the old legends and fairy tales are rife with innuendo, subtle references and allegory. This isn’t just the christian bible. The Qur’an does this too.

As does Aesop, Shakespeare and the Grimm brothers.

It has occurred to me that the reality of the anti-sex, anti-female misrepresentations so commonly utilized by the right-wing religionista in all faiths is based on the pre-medical era, when there were no real effective means of birth control or for the prevention or cure of sex transmitted disease. It is based on medical issues that existed to the point of just 70 years ago.

This is similar to the religious laws regarding diets, what foods can be consumed and under what conditions in the era before food preservation became possible. Simply put, pork was forbidden as a meat for many faiths because you could never guarantee the meat would always be properly cooked, and trichinosis was so common that it would render whole villages incapable of generating income for the local warlord. It is thought that human syphilis originated in the consumption of contaminated mutton.

Then again, maybe the word “consumption” in this context is itself, allegorical.

There is no modern paradigm in religious belief systems to create the understanding that such things as trichinosis, syphilis and even pregnancy can be prevented or remedied by modern medical technologies. There is no foundation of faith in them.

So all this passage you quoted here means to me, is that Moses was a mass murderer. That he was a deceiver more akin to Jim Jones, Ayatollah Khomeini, Joseph Smith or Pat Robertson.

Such is the nature of all faith-based belief systems. They tell you from the point of birth, that your eyes and ears will deceive you and they cannot be trusted. You must believe what some bipolar, schizophrenic horny old control freak tells you to believe, in spite of whatever information your eyes and ears transmit to your mind for analysis. Even if that information would reveal criminal behaviors.

13. Proud to be an Ass spews:

War is hell.