1 Samuel 5:6
But the hand of the LORD was heavy upon those of Ashdod, and He destroyed them and smote them with hemorrhoids.
What a pain in the ass!
If only God would bother himself to similarly smote at least a few Republicans, if not the lot of them.
The NRSV makes this, “The hand of the Lord was heavy upon the people of Ashdod, and he terrified and struck them with tumours, both in Ashdod and in its territory.”
Steve, well, He seems to have taken Dick Cheney’s heart. But the devil looks after his own.
@4 The Rapture ain’t gonna happen. God doesn’t want ‘em. He created this world to stash ‘em in, so He won’t have to take ‘em.
Ironically, a witch named hazel was dabbed liberally on sphincters and piles of fire throughout the land.
Speaking of hemorhoids and religion, Martin Luther attributed the inspiration for his theses to a really good shit.
There’s nothing more underrated than a good BM! But whatever you do, don’t get the wintergreen confused with the Prep-H when your ‘rhoids flare up!
Seems as if The Prophet Goldstein is down in the threshings. This pretty boring … I suggest he switch to writing about the recipe for manna.