“Fargo” for turkeys

Holy crap.

(Props to Eschaton and thanks for the Sprite in my nose.)


  1. 4

    Mr. Cynical spews:

    Haven’t you limpdicks ever seen them bleed out a turkey??
    Talk about grasping at straws.

    Oh, I forgot, you PINHEADS probably eat Free Range TOFU-tabeast for Thanksgiving. No bleedin’ out one of them bastards.

    Face it…Sarah Palin is awesome.

  2. 7


    @4-Oh come on, that’s funny as hell. If Tina Fey had done that they probably would have fired her for exaggerating.

    I’ll be smoking my bird with oranges and rosemary over a lump hardwood charcoal fire, so please, spare us already. Righties have no exclusive when it comes to fine cuisine. I’ve killed Missouri catfish about as large as that turkey with piano wire, and they don’t die nearly as easily. Yet another silly cultural assumption on your part.

  3. 9

    My Left Foot spews:

    You know, I sometimes judge a manager by the people they hire. Palin’s team is a bit ragged.

    She is not a good manager and can’t pick good people. Someone should have noticed that beforehand.

    I eat turkey. I deep fry it in the driveway, AWAY from the house. Tofurkey is for sissyMaryboys. And girls.

  4. 10

    My Left Foot spews:

    I notice that troll is consumed with what goes on at this blog. Maybe he should start a blog of his own: trollisamoron.org is available and so is trollfucksgoats.net.

    Palin is the Republican gift that just keeps on giving.

    PS. I would just like to point out that Goldy did not post this bit of PalinPain.

  5. 12

    My Left Foot spews:

    Post 10 is a classic bit of self importance from a poster who actually thinks he might be worth the effort to dislike or hate him/her/it.

    Must be lonely in his mothers basement.

  6. 14

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    I understand Bush plans to pardon 2 turkeys and they’re having a contest to name them. Don’t know why, because the turkeys he’s gonna pardon already have names: Scooter and Karl.

  7. 17

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    @4 The Dow dropped another 445 points today and WFC lost $1.87 to 22 1/2 bucks … so … how’s living off the land working out for ya, Cyn? What kind of berries are you eating? My gumint pension looks better every day!

  8. 18

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    @8 “You’re STILL posting about Palin?”

    Why not? You assholes are still milking Clinton 8 years after leaving office so why can’t we milk Palin for at least as long? Do you have special milking privileges that we don’t know about? Where did you get them? I want those privileges, too! What’s good enough for you is good enough for me also.

  9. 19

    proud leftist spews:

    Palin will fade from view when your party quits seeing her as its savior. That has not yet happened. So, in the meantime, she remains–as remarkable as it may seem–relevant.

  10. 20

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    Franken Gains Ground In Recount

    With 18% of Minnesota’s recount completed, Coleman’s lead has shrunk from 215 to 174 votes. If that rate continues, Franken will win by 12.7 votes.

  11. 23



    Problem is that since libs don’t return the affection, God will have some choice words for them come judgment day.

    And where they’re goin’, turkey won’t be on the menu.

    The Piper

  12. 24



    Funny…I used to hear the some stuff about Ronaldus Magnus Reaganus – right up until the time he stuffed that turkey Carter all the way up to his giblet.

    The Piper

  13. 25



    No…there’s a call in to Goldy for nominations from among the HA Happy Hooligans. Start practicing your Gobble, Gobble, Gobble.

    The Piper

  14. 28

    busdrivermike spews:

    Did anyone make it past the 30 second marker on that video?

    In comparison to Sara Palin, Charlie Brown’s teacher sounds like Winston Churchill.

    Hey, when is Dino Rossi going to announce his candidacy for 2012?

  15. 29


    @26- Guessing you’ve never deep-fried a turkey before. Doing it in the kitchen would be the height of stupid. And it seems a bit redundant to sign your posts. We know it’s you: your name is printed at the top.

  16. 30

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    @25 Does this mean Bush’s 2 favorite turkeys are gonna get the axe? You don’t say! Well that would be just like Bush to leave his most loyal supporters in the lurch. Hitler did, too.

  17. 32

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    Hey piper — you should take “Free Legal Advice” off your business homepage because you’re not authorized to practice law. You could get in trouble if the bar assoc. finds out about it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a snitch and won’t turn you in, but somebody else might, know what I mean?

  18. 33

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    @29 Yes, piper’s posts are pretty distinctive, and no signature is necessary. His comments stand out — sort of like the long-necked turkey in that Gary Larson cartoon where the punch line goes, “Okay, who’s it gonna be? Whooooo’s it gonna be?”

  19. 34

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    What is it with Palin and animal blood? Are all Republicans so bloodthirsty, or is she an extreme specimen?

  20. 35

    Mr. Cynical spews:

    17. Roger Rabbit spews:

    @4 The Dow dropped another 445 points today and WFC lost $1.87 to 22 1/2 bucks … so … how’s living off the land working out for ya, Cyn? What kind of berries are you eating? My gumint pension looks better every day

    I sold Wells Fargo weeks ago…before the Election. Zero stock holdings. A wise person may be buying it back today….along with a few others.
    Happy Thanksgiving!

  21. 38

    correctnotright spews:

    Troll: You are here for our amusement. Thanks for being incapable of expressing a coherent viewpoint and demonstrating a total lack of convictions, morals and ethics. Your representation of republican know-nothing -ism is a classic. We really appreciate your ignorance.

  22. 39

    correctnotright spews:

    @14: That was juicy Roger!

    Speaking of irony, Mukasey was speaking to the Federalist Society about how great it is to torture and how we can’t go after the illegal Bush activities (apparently passionately so) – and he was suddenly struck down.
    They are saying that he is OK (and that is the important thing) and did not have a stroke – but if I was a religious rightwingnut I might hypothesize divine intervention for telling lies.

  23. 40

    Politically Incorrect spews:

    The election is over. Why does anyone care about Palin or McCain at this point?

  24. 41

    correctnotright spews:

    @40: Guess you have not visited the right wing blogs or read the national review lately. there is a huge debate going on for the republicans about whether Palin, Romney or some other politicians are the party leaders going for 2012.

    Also, Palin is on TV every other day. This is just her latest turkey.

  25. 42

    headless lucy spews:

    By 2012, Palin will be starting to show her age. We’ll see how ‘qualified’ she is when her looks are gone.

  26. 43

    Politically Incorrect spews:


    You’re correct about the right wing blogs: I haven’t been visiting them, and I really haven’t noticed much about Palin on TV except what I see on MSNBC.

  27. 44


    I’m going to break it down for everyone why HA has lost its way. With Rossi and McCain losing, Goldy & Co have only two things left to bitch about: 1. Reichert, and 2. The Seattle Times. But even Goldy knows he needs talk about more than just two issues if he wants to keep his readers, and he also knows that Palin and Rossi, as irrelevant as they now are, are the reliable blog pablum for his easily entertained readers. That’s why he’s still blogging about them. He has nothing else. There are other issues and topics out there, but he’s intellectually lazy, and is going for the easy post, instead of having to think. Hopefully, with a little help from me, he’ll get out of this rut and steer this blog back on course.

  28. 45

    Steve spews:

    @38 The “I’m stupid and proud of it” Troll and his unwarranted smugness isn’t nearly as amusing as Cynical. Cynical’s inadequacies and insecurities which compel him to post lies about ranches, multiple homes, investments and the 100 gallons of gas bullshit is hilarious. He’s got a 9mm Glock, you know. That said, it’s a shame that Pudz and Marvin lost it, what with their exploding heads and crushed spirits. It was fun to watch but it’s still quite sad that they are only shells of the men they used to be before November 4th. I can understand why they no longer post here as it must be terribly humiliating for them to slink in here. At least we still have Pooper. He blogs professionally, you know.

  29. 47

    Mr. Cynical spews:

    Your envy, anger & jealousy continue to swell up inside of you.
    You are in my prayers.

  30. 48

    Steve spews:

    @46 How do I send a “Get Well” card to Pudz and Marvin?

    @47 “envy, anger & jealousy”

    Thanks for again sharing the reasons why you lie about the state of your pathetic life. Funny, you couldn’t stop projecting if your life depended on it.

  31. 49

    YLB spews:

    The Mat-Su Barbie has little to no future in politics. Now that everyone knows what a whackjob she is, she’ll serve out her remaining years in the midst of corruption scandals and plunging Shrub-league popularity.. Does Alaska have a recall procedure? Bring it on. Few are more deserving between all the pining for pork, whoring for corrupt interests in Alberta, CA, buying fleeting popularity numbers with ruinous taxes on the oil/gas industry and filling state government offices with unqualified hacks and cronies.

    If somehow she can dodge being her own worst enemy, sure the Republicans will trot her out a bit in 2012 but she’ll fizzle out quicker than a fat, overweight, corrupt Republican’s erection.

  32. 50

    Steve spews:

    @49 “everyone knows what a whackjob she is”

    That’d still make a her a great candidate for whackjobs like Pooper, Troll and Cynical.

  33. 51

    John spews:

    Palin posts are a sign this blog is running out of things to bitch about.


    The general public is far more focused on other issues, including the state of the national and local economy. Palin clips and Bush bashing will do absolutely zilch towards addressing these. If you want relevance Goldy, offer up something constructive such as your ideas for addressing our state’s immense – and growing – economic woes beyond introducing a state income tax, something which isn’t going to happen anytime soon. Big cuts in state services are looming since the Governor pledged time and again that she would not raise taxes. That’s where we are . . . what are your ideas . . .?

  34. 53

    rhp6033 spews:

    After two months of defending Palin as “qualified” to be Vice-President, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, it seems some here would prefer that we drop the subject entirely.

    Not likely, while she keeps giving us such good, new material for our amusement!

    I think it’s hilarious that Troll here, and others of his ilk, keep trying to give Goldy advice on how to run his blog. They can only DREAM of his daily traffic.

  35. 54


    Could it be that Goldy & Co are still posting about Palin as a diversion? What is Goldy trying to divert our attention away from? What is going on in our state that he’s trying to take our attention away from?

  36. 55

    Steve spews:

    Why would Troll want to divert us from laughing our asses off at failed, inept Republican leaders like Sarah Palin?

  37. 57


    You people are fools. Goldy is a VERY clever, crafty, sneaky, calculating, and strategic blogger. He doesn’t write about Palin because she makes him chuckle. He’s trying to take our attention away from something else. I estimate that over 96% of his posts are designed to divert our attention away from more important issues that may reflect our Democratic party in an unfavorable light. If you believe otherwise, you’re naive.

  38. 58

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    @40 Because we enjoy kicking Republicans for sport, especially when they’re down.

  39. 59

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    @44 This shows how little you know. If you want some fun, stick around for a while until we start bitching again about do-nothing Democrats.

  40. 60

    Steve spews:

    I estimate that 96% of Troll’s posts are utter nonsense. If you believe otherwise, you likely fuck goats.

  41. 61

    Blue John spews:

    @54 What else? I donno. How about you give some topics? You seem all worked up over this. Spew what you got in the next open thread…..
    Put up or Shut up.

  42. 62

    headless lucy spews:

    re 57: So, what you are saying is that Goldy is an evil person who knows damn well that the mendacious Democrats are deliberately bumbling and wasting government money, but clever Goldy distracts us from becoming aware of this by presenting hilarious footage of Sarah Palin speaking in front of some guy chopping off turkey heads?

    You are paranoid — and a naif.

  43. 63

    Ted spews:

    Refreshing to see and hear a politician without props give an honest interview to her constituents.
    We can imagine Obama, in the same environment with huge white pillars, shinning light from the sky and his Teleprompter.

  44. 64

    messenger spews:

    To me the funniest part was the turkey dispatcher who kept looking over his shoulder at the camera as if to say, “Are you sure you want this filmed??”

    Sarah chirping on and on so merrily (“At least this was fun!”) while all this was going on just a few feet behind her.

  45. 65

    YLB spews:

    That’d still make a her a great candidate for whackjobs like Pooper, Troll and Cynical.

    Ha! You know Cynical has a bit of a future as a political crystal-ball gazer. He said Rossi would be “just like Palin”.

    And doggone it, Rossi sure turned out that way – a loser.

    Keep peering into the future, Mr. Cynical. We who demand competence and accountability from our political leadership are counting on you.

  46. 66

    correctnotright spews:

    @66: And wasn’t it cynical who warned us not to criticize Palin because it would backfire? The Clinton female vote would suddenly jump to McCain becasue of Palin’s gender.

    Yup, that cynical really is a great prognosticator. Or was it troll who postulated that? The wrong headed right wingers are blur together for me.

    But the important news is that the adults will soon be in charge and the republican criminals will face the music. Luckily, the American public is thoroughly disgusted with republicans after Iraq, Katrina, the Justice dept. and the economy.

    The Republican Party’s image has gone from bad to worse over the past month, as only 34% of Americans in a Nov. 13-16 Gallup Poll say they have a favorable view of the party, down from 40% in mid-October. The 61% now holding an unfavorable view of the GOP is the highest Gallup has recorded for that party since the measure was established in 1992.

    Link: http://www.gallup.com/poll/112.....ction.aspx

  47. 67

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    That’s the funniest goddam video I’ve ever seen! The commentary is even better on the MSNBC version! E.g., “Guess what? The turkey sandwich you have at the deli doesn’t come from the cold cuts fairy.” It’s incredible that anyone could possibly believe this woman is not too stupid to hold national office — or any public office, for that matter. Redneck government — bleccch!!! The idea of Palin being governor of anything, even a podunk state like Alaska, is enough to make you throw up.

  48. 68

    YLB spews:

    66 – Ha! That’s hilarious. What Cynical or Troll do not know about women is a lot.

    Unfortunately a lot of Republican criminals are soon going to be let out of jail or get out of jail cards.

    Shrubya will not disappoint on the pardon front. It will be his final one fingered salute to the country.

    Obama will have to go after all the Republicans (and a few Vichy Dems) who looted the Treasury. Rebuilding the country isn’t going to be cheap. He has to get that money back.

  49. 70

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    If Palin is the future of the Republican Party, the Republican Party has no future.

  50. 71

    GBS spews:


    The conservatives are still all buttery over Palin and she’s half the reason why you numbskulls lost the election so badly that you’ve been reduced to a regional party of the Deep South. You know, where education and incomes are among the lowest in the nation. Is there a correlation between stupid people and supporters of Reagan Republicans? Yeah, youbetcha! **wink, wink like whore**

    I love Palin because she is a constant reminder why the Reagan Republicanism ideology of governing is a complete and utter failure. The future for the Republican Party is bleak at best. They better trot out the likes of Bobby Jindal and the old white folk like Mr. Cynical better get used to wearing blackface. Because at this moment in life you have ZERO chance at getting even 5% of the Black vote in the future and marginal chances of getting better than 20% of any other minority block in the future. The youth vote (18-35 year olds) broke 2-1 for Democrats. A successful two-term Obama presidency will completely bury the conservative movement.

    The very best thing the Republican Party could do now to survive would be to publicly reject Ronald Reagan and his followers and move quickly to the center on all issues. Anything short of that and it’ll be another 40+ years before you regain any gavels in congress.

    But, hey, who am I to dictate what Republicans should do?

    Keep trotting out Sarah Palin – Turkey Trot that is.

    Baaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa

  51. 72

    YLB spews:

    Palin is really scary. She really scares the greedheads that are the true power behind the Republicans. The whole wardrobe and other stuff reported by Fixed Noise was that crowd throwing her under the bus.

    She called them “jerks”. Appropriate but they won’t forget that.

  52. 73

    YLB spews:

    The Republicans really are in a very bad way.

    They have to write off the religious whacko base entirely. It can only mean more disaster for them if they continue to count on them.

    The only chance they have is to co-opt the small business owners promising them lots of goodies.

    They will never abandon Reaganism. They will always play up fear. Any national defense missteps by Obama they will exploit ruthlessly. They’ll continue to give lip service to values. They just won’t count on the religious vote.

    Their next pitch will be economic because the road will be pretty rocky the next 4 years. They’ll say government is too big and the small business owners need a tax cut.

    Their candidate could be Jindal but Jindal has religious whacko problems. It will probably be someone off the radar at the moment. Not a Romney or Huckabee.

    It’s too predictable.

  53. 74

    Steve spews:

    @73 “They have to write off the religious whacko base entirely.”

    That’s going to be very difficult. If they don’t pander to the whackos then they’ll have lost half their votes, will have no path before them but to become “Dem Light”, and will leave room for a third “whacko party” that will likely take what seats they have left in the deep red districts and states. That’d pretty much leave the Republican party a minor party of CEO’s and small business – not too many votes there. If Obama is a success, they might not even be left with that. I think they’re fucked no matter what they do. They did it to themselves but we’re kind of fucked as well. That is, I don’t see it as being particularly good for the country if, after the dust settles, we’re left with only one viable party.

  54. 75



    Those were posted from North Carolina where I spent some time spoiling the dickens out of my grandsons – even drove them 300 miles round trip Thursday from Greensboro to Appomattox Courthouse, VA to trod the Holy Ground where Lee surrendered to Grant.

    If anyone wants to see stunningly beautiful countryside, may I suggest south-central Virginia in the fall. And the National Park? Absolutely magnificent.

    The Piper

  55. 76



    BTW…while in Greensboro, I went to the local Natural History Museum, which features several live animals (a couple HUGE tigers barely three feet away, with signs warning the public that they mark their turf by spraying urine, so be aware that you might get wet) including a LONG and FAT python.

    I watched as a keeper fed the python a dead rabbit, killed just for the occassion. Since everyone has to economize these days, I suggested to the other keepers watching the ritual that they contact you.

    It would be a win-win-win-win-win since (1) you could finally give some meaning to your heretofor pathetic and useless life, (2) the taxpayers of Greensboro could get a break, albeit slight, on python chow, (3) Goldy would benefit by not having to allocate so much bandwidth to your incessant blather, (4) HA readers (the Happy Hooligans are limited to one-syllable words) would be spared the white noise of your – I use the next word advisedly – “prose,” and (5) simply one less vermin who otherwise would overpopulate the earth.

    Watch for their posts soon…

    The Piper

  56. 77

    David spews:

    Does anyone remember the “WKRP in Cincinnati” episode where some of the staff thought it would be a good idea to drop the turkeys from the helicopter?

    The irony in this video reminded me a bit of that episode.

  57. 78

    Puddybud spews:

    Well I guess being a friend to creatures big and small means most HASSers wil forgo turkey this week?

    Naaahhh… you all are all talk and no action.

  58. 79

    Steve spews:

    Hey, Pudz, what’s it like to have your spirit broken? Was it painful when your head exploded? Please tell us what it’s like to have your ass handed to you.

  59. 80

    Puddybud spews:

    Stupid Solution Steve: I already answered your stupid supposition.

    Oh couse being into goat sex, you can’t figger things out.

    I didn’t like McCain so how was my ass handed to me?

  60. 81

    Puddybud spews:

    Now that Obama won, you notice how cold (temperature wise) America is now?

    I guess he’ll make the oceans rise too…

  61. 82

    Steve spews:

    A slight correction is in order, Pudz. I’m into exposing Republican goatfucking. Of course, you already know this. Christ, don’t you ever follow the links we post? I reckon it really is asking too much to hope that you’ll one day face the reality of wing-nut pedophilia and perversion. Say, want some more links? There’s been some recent wing-nut pedo busts that should interest you.

  62. 83

    Steve spews:

    Hmm, I see that you require another link, Pudz. This one is the latest Republican to be busted for pedophilia. He wanted to have sex with an 11 year-old girl. There’s just too many Republican pedophiles being busted these day to keep track! Does this shame you? Of course not. Pervs like you do not know shame.


  63. 84

    ECS spews:

    If you speed up the sound just a bit Palin’s voice sounds EXACTLY like a turkey gobble

    I’m just saying…

    What’s with all the “flesh-eating cred” boasting on this thread? Why is eating animals a badge of political correctness anyway? Seems to be a holdover from the “real men don’t each quiche” right-wing anti-liberal crap from the 90s.

    Real progressives SHOULD eat low on the food chain and that translates to eating little to no animal flesh.

    Anybody with half a brain who can read and pays attention knows that our flesh-centric diets and our system of large-scale industrial factory animal “farms” are wreaking incredible havoc with our planet’s ecosystems (water, air and land), depleting our energy resources and land, increasing our healthcare costs, and screwing up our economy.

    The good news is that this is a major problems that is readily and simply solveable–eat a lot less meat, and what meat you do eat, make sure that it’s from a 1) local supplier that adheres to the highest ethical and environmental standards.

  64. 85

    Colin spews:

    Foreground: it’s like the part of her brain that assembles sentences doesn’t work — you just get this jumble of phrases. Certainly shows that it wasn’t just that Katie Couric made her nervous. Palin is charming, but she shouldn’t be running anything.

    Background: Looks like a nice small-scale operation. Dunno if it “adheres to the highest ethical and environmental standards” — c’mon, this is Alaska — but I’d take a turkey from that guy over one from a factory farm.

  65. 86

    YLB spews:

    will leave room for a third “whacko party” that will likely take what seats they have left in the deep red districts and states. That’d pretty much leave the Republican party a minor party of CEO’s and small business – not too many votes there.

    Interesting point on the “whacko party” there. A bit of that is happening right now with the Constitution Party. Super fringie right now but it could grow.

    The people rejected the religious whackos Nov 4. They will continue to do so. The whackos are their own worst enemy. There will be near fanatical calls for the return of the Wasilla-billy. If the Republicans continue to cling to these people, it will only kill them at the polls.

    Smaller businesses create most of the jobs and are for the the most part precarious operations. The lure of tax cuts and meat-axe deregulation is strong. I see that as the Republican’s only chance. A strong pitch to small business could work. Of course since it’s big business that calls the shots for the Republicans, the pitch will be highly deceptive.

    Yes, Obama has to head the Republicans off at the pass with small business owners.