Do robocallers dream of electric sleaze?

A reader from Washington’s 2nd Congressional district forwarded me audio of this rather amusing botched robocall from Republican challenger Doug Roulstone. Or maybe it’s a botched robocall from California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenneger. It’s hard to tell.

Ah well. So much for the Republican Party’s much-vaunted GOTV machine.

(Oh, and Doug… there’s no shame in losing. But there is shame in cynically questioning John Kerry’s patriotism as a desperate campaign ploy. This is how voters will remember you. If at all.)


  1. 2

    My Left Foot spews:

    Dutch @ 2:

    I almost forgot….Kiss my Liberal, Democrat, Jewish ass! But please, brush, floss and use mouthwash first.

  2. 3

    My Left Foot spews:

    Comment 6 should reference comment 3. Sorry. Elvis Pupsley decided he was more important and nudged me for some attention. (Elvis was right, he was more important).

  3. 4

    Don Joe spews:

    Regarding the Vanity Fair article, here’s a preview:

    Frank Gaffney, an assistant secretary of defense under Ronald Reagan and founder of the Center for Security Policy: “[Bush] doesn’t in fact seem to be a man of principle who’s steadfastly pursuing what he thinks is the right course. He talks about it, but the policy doesn’t track with the rhetoric, and that’s what creates the incoherence that causes us problems around the world and at home. It also creates the sense that you can take him on with impunity.”

    Oh, to be a mouse on the wall watching HA’s resident wingnut trolls read that stuff…

  4. 5

    Jim spews:

    For any of the neocon geeks still out there, hoping things will turn out, read Vanity Fair.

    From, Adelman, Perle, Gaffney, Cohen, Ledeen, et al., have thrown Smirky McFlightsuit under the bus.

    Emperor Smirky McFlightsuit hasn’t had any clothes for a while now, but the level of failure is actually being said out loud by some of the truest believers.

  5. 6

    John Barelli spews:

    Commentby Roger Rabbit— 11/5/06@ 2:56 am

    Regarding “Army Times Says ‘Rumsfeld Must Go’

    Anyone that has spent time in the military (and therefore read either the Army Times or one of its other-service clones) realizes just how big a deal this is.

    Army Times Publishing has had a long-standing policy of “if you can’t say anything nice about the Pentagon, make something up”. Access to senior DOD personnel is the life-blood of these papers. These papers could easily be considered the “unofficial mouthpieces” for the DOD. Occasionally they might level some very mild criticism of a low-level functionary or a past Defense Secretary, but even that is uncommon.

    For the Army Times to call for the resignation of a sitting Secretary of Defense is unheard of. This is the equivalent of the National Review coming out against the President.

    Should it have happened earlier? Yes, absolutely. But the really amazing thing is that it happened at all.

    “The amazing thing about a dancing bear is not how gracefully it waltzes, but that it waltzes at all” – unknown

  6. 8

    Tim spews:

    Oh my God, these people are so stupid!!!

    What a dumb recording. It’s effed up. It’s like they’re trying to appeal to the lowest common denomenator (which is where they find themselves).

  7. 9

    Roger Rabbit spews:


    “What’s amazing, though, is that a verbal gaffe by Kerry that clearly did not mean what the evildoing truth-twisters said it meant was FRONT PAGE NEWS IN THE SEATTLE REPUBLICAN TIMES FOR A WEEK. Butt(hehe), The fanny afflicted Pastor of Bush and 30 million Christofascists was on the 4th page every day.” Commentby For the Soulless— 11/5/06@ 9:00 am

    That’s why Frank and is rag are irrelevant. Frankly, if only one daily paper survives in Seattle, I hope it’s the P-I! On Tuesday the joke will be on Blethen — with a Democratic congress now looking like a sure thing, there’s noooooo chance of an estate tax repeal in his lifetime.

  8. 11

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    “Adelman, Perle, Gaffney, Cohen, Ledeen, et al., have thrown Smirky McFlightsuit under the bus.”

    These neocons are scum, but you gotta give ‘em credit for knowing they’ve been fucked over by the incompetence of McChimp.

  9. 12

    Roger Rabbit spews:


    March 7, 2003, Janeane Garofalo … on The Factor:

    Garoalo: “If we invade Iraq, there’s a United Nations estimate that says there will be up to a half a million people killed or
    wounded. Do we have a right to do that to a country that’s done nothing to us?”

    O’Reilly: … “Now last question. If you are wrong, all right, and if the United States — and they will — this is going to happen — goes in, liberates Iraq, people in the street, American flags, hugging our soldiers, all right, we find all kinds of bad, bad stuff, all right, in Iraq, are you going to apologize to George W. Bush?”

    GAROFALO: “I will bring roses right to his front door. I will bring a fruitcake and roses. But let me tell you something. What if you are wrong …”

    O’REILLY: “Then I’ll apologize.”

    GAROFALO: “What if—wait, wait. Let me lay out my scenario. What if hundreds and thousands of Iraqis are killed? There’s nobody thanking General Tommy Franks for the bombs, there’s nobody
    thanking anyone for … ”

    O’REILLY: “If it’s a debacle, I’ll be the first one to report it.”

    … in Bill’s mind it was all over with by April 14 … O’Reilly … reported that Garofalo was reneging on her promise.

    “Janeane Garofalo told us she has nothing to apologize for because she doesn’t think that things are going that well in Iraq. And most of the other dissenters echo that thought.”

    O’Reilly just couldn’t understand how Ms. Garofalo and other “dissenters” were denying that the war was won:

    ” … here’s some no-spin reality. The coalition victory in Iraq has had a number of very positive repercussions. North Korea is now backing away from its insistence it would only negotiate with the USA about nuclear weapons. Apparently that regime will now talk with other countries as well.”

    … on April 18, he ran video of the interview with Garofalo and said, “There you go, ladies and gentlemen. There is history, OK? O’Reilly. Janeane should apologize. She should.”

    On April 21, O’Reilly read this letter from level-headed viewer Wayne Johns of Oceanside, California, “As for an apology for Janeane Garofalo, I think it should wait until after it can be shown that America’s actions have improved the region’s stability.”

    Bill’s response? “How about until they open a Kmart in Baghdad, you know? Geez.”

    … July 22, 2003. O’Reilly brought Ann Coulter into the No-Spin Zone to discuss some of the “silly” things Garofalo had said:

    COULTER: “This is the topic of my book, and she said a lot of very silly things, including, I think, on your program. Her prediction that 500,000 would be killed in Iraq and—civilian casualties….”

    O’REILLY: “Yes. She was wrong. Flat-out wrong.”

    On October 11, 2006, Reuters reported that researchers at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health had just released a study on Iraqi casualties: “Researchers estimated that as a result of the war, about 655,000 people in a country of about 27 million have died above the number expected to
    have died without war…”

    Roger Rabbit Comment: Looks like O’Liely will apologize when Redneck pays the bet he lost to Goldy. Fucking liars, both of ‘em. Never trust a conservative.

  10. 14

    Roger Rabbit spews:


    Army Times Says ‘Rumsfeld Must Go’

    WASHINGTON (Nov. 4) – … The Military Times Media Group … said Friday it was calling for Bush to fire Rumsfeld. An editorial due to be published Monday … declares that “Rumsfeld has lost credibility with the uniformed leadership, with the troops, with Congress and with the public at large.” …

    Meanwhile, a leading conservative proponent of the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq now says dysfunction within the Bush administration has turned U.S. policy there into a disaster. Richard Perle … said had he seen at the start of the war in 2003 where it would go, he probably would not have advocated an invasion to depose Saddam Hussein. …

    When asked about … Perle’s criticism, White House spokesman Gordon Johndroe said, “We appreciate the Monday-morning quarterbacking, but the president has a plan to succeed in Iraq and we are going forward with it.”

    Other prominent conservatives criticized the administration’s conduct of the war … including Kenneth Adelman, who … said he was “crushed” by the performance of Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld. … Adelman (said) he was mistaken in his high opinion of Bush’s national security. …”

    (Quoted under Fair Use)

    Roger Rabbit Commentary: Too late. You fuckers own this turkey.

  11. 15

    Richard Pope spews:

    This news just in:

    Saddam, half brother sentenced to death

    BAGHDAD, Iraq – Saddam Hussein and his half brother were convicted and sentenced Sunday to death by hanging for war crimes in the 1982 killings of 148 people in the town of Dujail, as the visibly shaken former leader shouted “God is great!”

    After the verdict was read, a trembling Saddam yelled out, “Life for the glorious nation, and death to its enemies!”

    In addition to the former Iraqi dictator and Barzan Ibrahim, his half brother, the Iraqi High Tribunal convicted and sentenced Awad Hamed al-Bandar, the head of Iraq’s former Revolutionary Court, to death by hanging. Iraq’s former Vice President Taha Yassin Ramadan was convicted of premeditated murder and sentenced to life in prison.

    Three other co-defendants were convicted of murder and torture and sentenced to up to 15 years in prison.–

  12. 16

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    Roulstone should read a newspaper once in a while. Especially this one:

    The Great Divider
    Published: November 2, 2006

    As President Bush throws himself into the final days of a particularly nasty campaign season, he’s settled into a familiar pattern of ugly behavior. Since he can’t defend the real world created by his policies and his decisions, Mr. Bush is inventing a fantasy world in which to campaign on phony issues against fake enemies.

    In Mr. Bush’s world, America is making real progress in Iraq. In the real world, as Michael Gordon reported in yesterday’s Times, the index that generals use to track developments shows an inexorable slide toward chaos. In Mr. Bush’s world, his administration is marching arm in arm with Iraqi officials committed to democracy and to staving off civil war. In the real world, the prime minister of Iraq orders the removal of American checkpoints in Baghdad and abets the sectarian militias that are slicing and dicing their country.

    In Mr. Bush’s world, there are only two kinds of Americans: those who are against terrorism, and those who somehow are all right with it. Some Americans want to win in Iraq and some don’t. There are Americans who support the troops and Americans who don’t support the troops. And at the root of it all is the hideously damaging fantasy that there is a gulf between Americans who love their country and those who question his leadership.

    Mr. Bush has been pushing these divisive themes all over the nation, offering up the ludicrous notion the other day that if Democrats manage to control even one house of Congress, America will lose and the terrorists will win. But he hit a particularly creepy low when he decided to distort a lame joke lamely delivered by Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts. Mr. Kerry warned college students that the punishment for not learning your lessons was to “get stuck in Iraq.” In context, it was obviously an attempt to disparage Mr. Bush’s intelligence. That’s impolitic and impolite, but it’s not as bad as Mr. Bush’s response. Knowing full well what Mr. Kerry meant, the president and his team cried out that the senator was disparaging the troops. It was a depressing replay of the way the Bush campaign Swift-boated Americans in 2004 into believing that Mr. Kerry, who went to war, was a coward and Mr. Bush, who stayed home, was a hero.

    It’s not the least bit surprising or objectionable that Mr. Bush would hit the trail hard at this point, trying to salvage his party’s control of Congress and, by extension, his last two years in office. And we’re not naïve enough to believe that either party has been running a positive campaign that focuses on the issues.

    But when candidates for lower office make their opponents out to be friends of Osama bin Laden, or try to turn a minor gaffe into a near felony, that’s just depressing. When the president of the United States gleefully bathes in the muck to divide Americans into those who love their country and those who don’t, it is destructive to the fabric of the nation he is supposed to be leading.

    This is hardly the first time that Mr. Bush has played the politics of fear, anger and division; if he’s ever missed a chance to wave the bloody flag of 9/11, we can’t think of when. But Mr. Bush’s latest outbursts go way beyond that. They leave us wondering whether this president will ever be willing or able to make room for bipartisanship, compromise and statesmanship in the two years he has left in office.

    (Excerpted under Fair Use)

  13. 17

    Roger Rabbit spews:


    “NEW YORK (Nov. 3) – A detective suspended after testing positive for drugs says his wife served him meatballs spiked with marijuana …

    “Anthony Chiofalo …, a 22-year-veteran …, was suspended without pay last year after a random drug test found marijuana in his system.

    “During an investigation, his wife said she had substituted marijuana for oregano in her meatball recipe ….”

    (Quoted under Fair Use)

  14. 18

    For the Soulless spews:

    re 3: “Dutch” was RR’s nickname. Sounds like you have some self-importance issues of your own.


  15. 19

    For the Soulless spews:

    What’s amazing, though, is that a verbal gaffe by Kerry that clearly did not mean what the evildoing truth-twisters said it meant was FRONT PAGE NEWS IN THE SEATTLE REPUBLICAN TIMES FOR A WEEK. Butt(hehe), The fanny afflicted Pastor of Bush and 30 million Christofascists was on the 4th page every day.

  16. 20

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    In a way, Dubya has been good for the Democrats in the same way that Osama has been good for Dubya. Thank God the wingers chose an incompetent boob to lead them — or we might have got stuck with a U.S. war of world conquest and a banana republic at home.

  17. 21

    DemocratFor Life spews:

    I would have to disagree with the premise that John Kerry’s comments being used by Republican’s is an act of desperation. Thank God John Kerry will never be President. He is an arrogant prick who is incapable of relating to the rank-and-file working stiff. Bush is also a prick & totally incapable too.
    However, you’ve got to admire the R’s for seizing the moment. They have every right to play Kerry’s words over & over again and spin it any way they want. Our problem is we got stuck on that one statement & issue for several critical days. If we lose again, it’s clearly the fault of Kerry and Howard Dean.
    We can we get a good old-fashioned plain talking Truman Democrat??? I cannot think of one….Lieberman is about as close as I can come.

  18. 22

    ArtFart spews:

    33 I’m sure whatever Harry Truman would have to say about Joe Liebermann would involve plenty of words of one syllable.

  19. 24

    My Left Foot spews:

    Another TJ @ 51:

    Lying? You are accusing others of lying? Chutzpah is evidently your strong suit. Don’t come here accusing others of lying when that is all you Republifucks know how to do. We have learned to sling mud with you. There are more of us and you are gonna get dirty.

    Funny how that works, Asshole!

  20. 26

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    Looks grim for the Pervert Party. projects a 51-49 Democratic Senate and 239-196 Democratic House. And that’s before we undo the GOP’s gerrymandering!


  21. 27

    My Left Foot spews:

    Dutch @ 3:

    What would justify my self importance? Hmmmmmm, after giving it some thought, here is my answer. The same justification that you used to attempt to belittle me.

    Did that make you feel superior? Did your ego snap to when you hit the SAY IT tab?

    Just asking.

    Funny how that works.

  22. 28

    David spews:

    What an amazing mess up! I wonder how far the mess up spreads? It would be hilarious if every call in every state was somehow messed up – WA info from CA, CA gets info from ID, ID gets info from PA and so on.

  23. 29

    Roger Rabbit spews:


    “For the Army Times to call for the resignation of a sitting Secretary of Defense is unheard of. This is the equivalent of the National Review coming out against the President.”

    I think it reflects a growing perception among military professionals that Rumsfeld (and, indirectly, Bush) are a threat to the long-term health if not survival of the service.

  24. 30

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    In other news, in the tradition of Low Tax Looper, another Republican nut has legally changed his name to promote his political candidacy.

    Pro-Life, who describes himself as “the most conservative politican in Idaho, hopes to be elected governor.

    Roger Rabbit Commentary: This yahoo is a strawberry farmer. Bet he’s a cheap labor conservative. Bet he employs illegals. Bet he pays them less than minimum wage.

  25. 31

    Roger Rabbit spews:


    Oh, to be a mouse on the wall watching HA’s resident wingnut trolls read that stuff… Commentby Don Joe— 11/5/06@ 9:36 am

    Isn’t it fun watching the wingnut intelligentsia wake up to the fact they’ve been following a pied piper?

  26. 34

    Roger Rabbit spews:


    DemocratFor Life— 11/5/06@ 9:31 am

    Just what this board needs — another lying wingfuck pretending to be a Democrat.

  27. 35

    Roger Rabbit spews:


    I’ll be driving around some of the mega churches tonight in a van with a sign on it saying – “Hey pastor, want a massage?” Commentby RightEqualsStupid— 11/5/06@ 9:21 am

    Why a sign? Why not a sound truck?

  28. 39

    dutch spews:

    2: do you feel it’s important for people to know you are on vacation? Just wondering what justifies this self importance ?

  29. 40

    My Left Foot spews:

    Hey Dutch @ 3:

    Are you new here? Must be. It was just a friendly note. Some of us have been here for a long time and sometimes we share. If you don’t like you can always surf your ass away from HA or, in the alternative, you can just go fuck yourself.

    Have a nice day!

  30. 41

    RightEqualsStupid spews:

    I’ll be driving around some of the mega churches tonight in a van with a sign on it saying – “Hey pastor, want a massage?”

    HE HE!

  31. 42

    Roger Rabbit spews:


    “TOPEKA, Kan. (Nov. 4) – An abortion doctor plans to ask for an investigation of the state attorney general and Bill O’Reilly over comments by the Fox television host that he got information from Kansas abortion records, the doctor’s attorneys said Saturday.

    “Dr. George Tiller said he will ask the Kansas Supreme Court on Monday to appoint a special prosecutor to investigate and take possession of the records of 90 patients from two clinics.

    Attorney General Phill Kline obtained the records recently after a two-year battle that prompted privacy concerns. …”

    For complete story and/or (c) info see

    Let me guess … the trollfucks who bleat about Jim McDermott giving the media a tape recording of Republican leaders plotting the overthrow of our government won’t see anything wrong with Bill O’Reilly pawing through the stolen medical records of private individuals.

  32. 43

    Roger Rabbit spews:


    2: do you feel it’s important for people to know you are on vacation? Just wondering what justifies this self importance ?
    Commentby dutch— 11/4/06@ 11:55 pm

    The small knuckle of his little finger is more important than 1000 wingnuts.

  33. 45

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    3, 5

    Dutch — like LeftFoot said — are you new here? Allow me to acquaint you with the unofficial HA posting rules:

    1. This is a liberal blog.
    2. Anyone can post here.
    3. There is no censorship.
    4. Our job as liberals is to verbally kick the living shit out of unpatriotic, America-hating, fascist trollfucks.
    5. No mercy for wingnut trolls.
    6. Our terms are unconditional surrender.
    7. klake is a nazi.

  34. 46

    My Left Foot spews:

    Public notice:

    Teresa and I will be on vacation until Nov. 20. I will check in from time to time.

    So, as Rabbit likes to say (sort of, I think), I will see you WingNuts when I get back…if they don’t hang you beforehand.

    And to my Liberal brothers and sisters: We have waited and patiently worked for this. Lets not allow our party leaders to fuck it up.

  35. 47

    JCH [Visiting Pennsylvania] spews:

    Dear ACORN Democrat cheaters, Democrat Mexican Illegals, New York City Jews who “double” vote Democrat in NYC and Palm Beach, and Democrat Blacks who get bussed to several polls in Milwaukee, Border Patrol with attack dogs, and the MinuteMen will be at EVERY poll to arrest and deport you on Tuesday!! Voter fraud is a capital offense!!! Only English will be spoken!!!!!!!

  36. 48

    proud to be an Ass spews:

    Some say JCH spends all his time at Self-suck Gallery/html. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying JCH is a pervert, but some say this is true.

    We report, you decide. Fair and balanced.

  37. 49

    My Left Foot spews:

    Boy, when these guys unravel, they really unravel.

    Tuesday is looking like it might be one hell of a party for Democrats.

    Funny how that works.

  38. 51

    dutch spews:

    Roger, Left Toe…sorry, I apologize for being new here :-)
    Didn’t know it was such a close knit community of a few people. I though there were thousands and thousands of loyal followers, not just a few of you who get together for a coffee clatch and miss each other when you are out. But after reading what’s being “said” for the last week I understand.

    So enjoy your vacation, Left Foot and pls make sure you let everyone know you are back. It’s important for sure


  39. 52


    I have an idea. Get the phone number of every single registered Republican, and robo call them nightly with a soundcut of Bush looking for the WMD’s under the desk, and the crowd laughing. I mean get 20 – 100 phone lines going. The only way to get off the reality call list would be to register and vote democrat for 3 cycles 100%.

    I have some news for the trolls. Being Republican means voting for Democrats. Being NAZI / Fascist means voting for Republicans. The Democrats represent Goldwater more than Republicans. The Republicans appear to represent Hitler / Mussolini style government more than Goldwater’s ideology. Now admit it trolls.

  40. 53

    Richard Pope spews:

    I’m glad my robocalls didn’t turn out like that. Of course, I decided to stick with an entirely positive message for the general election.