[NWPT48]It’s beautiful outside, and like an idiot, I’m sitting inside, watching the pointless proceedings from Wenatchee again. Oh well… I guess I might as well write about it. And as always, I urge you to check out David Postman’s “straight, cogent” trial dispatches.
Counting ballots the Nicole way
King County Elections mail ballot supervisor Nicole Way has strapped on her Depends and mounted the witness stand, where Republican attorney Harry Korrell will spend the next few hours trying to trick her into semantically contradicting the testimony in her deposition. Every time he succeeds, bells will go off in the courtroom, while balloons and confetti rain down from a trap-door in the ceiling. My understanding is that Davis Wright Tremaine’s contract with the GOP stipulates that the first attorney to secure a perjury conviction, wins a new Cadillac Escalade. Sweet.
Of course, the main purpose of her testimony is simply to recycle headlines of Way’s faulty mail ballot report, the centerpiece of GOP allegations of fraud. So this should be dramatic testimony, right? Right?
Meanwhile, on Zoboomafoo, the gang learns about different breeds of horses and how to care for them.
Losing focus (11:40 am)
It looks like the Seattle Times’ “straight, cogent” David Postman is having as much trouble keeping focus as I am. Postman’s last three trial updates have reported on “political celebrities” and judicial quips. With no actual news to report, his occasional updates are reminiscent of the tiny inhabitants of that speck of dust in Horton Hears a Who, yelling “We’re here! We’re here!” I know you are David, and I feel for you. But at least you are getting paid.
Anyway, after a brief recess, Democrat attorney Jenny Durkan has started her friendly, cross-examination of Nicole Way.
In other news, Mister Rogers shows how exercising, such as jumping rope, is good for you.
Breaking News: court breaks for lunch! (12:04 pm)
The court has adjourned until 1:30 for lunch… and I’m guessing a few drinks as well. When they return, Democrat attorney Jenny Durkan will finish her cross-examination of Nicole Way, which has managed to make the circumstances surrounding the erroneous mail ballot report sound much less “sinister.” Later this afternoon, the Judge will conduct the “Frye hearing” on the admissibility of the GOP’s proportional deduction methodology.
Meanwhile, the Boohbahs do a bending exercise, while in Storyworld, Aunty finds three droopy flowers. Can Mr. Man help her water the flowers in time?
Snarky Radio (1:57 pm)
A big thanks to Stefan over at (un)Sound Politics for reminding me that I’ll be back on the John Carlson Show with him, KVI-570, at 3:15 pm. Though according to the Snark, I’m only there for comic relief. Hmm. Well, I am “damned entertaining.”
For those of you who can’t bear to listen to right-wing talk radio, over on Dragonfly TV, youngsters check out alligators in Florida, snakes in Minnesota and worms in California. Also: entomologist Betty Faber, who specializes in cockroaches.
GOP calls cloture on Way filibuster (2:42 pm)
Nicole Way has finally been excused from the stand, but not before Jenny Durkan managed to extract the following statement about the mail ballot report:
“Before the 95 were found, I did not know the number was inaccurate.”
The point is, even though she couldn’t get the necessary reports out of the ballot tracking software to verify the numbers, she did not know that they were wrong at the time. She just couldn’t verify them. Now criticize her for being sloppy, or making a bad decision if you want… but this is not “fraud.” Hope somebody was paying attention.
Anyway, while I’ve been providing my own snide coverage and Postman has been scratching his head to provide some straight, cogent analysis (yet another update featuring a judicial quip), TJ at Also Also once again dazzles us with his intelligence by actually writing a coherent summary of the morning session. Hey TJ… you think Way looks weary? You should see the bags under my eyes.
The court is now taking a brief recess, but over on Reading Rainbow, LeVar Burton visits a New Jersey amusement park. Also: Arnold Stang narrates the story of “Archibald Frisby.”
Blinded by science… (3:44 pm)
And apparently deafened as well. The Frye hearing has started in Wenatchee, in which Judge Bridges will eventually rule on the admissibility of the GOP’s proportional deduction methodology… not that I’d know, considering the TVW internet stream is down. I don’t have cable, but apparently they’re missing audio on cable too. Andrew over at NW Progressive tells me that TVW has a power outage at their retransmission facility in Olympia.
Fortunately, PBS Kids is experiencing no such problems. Postcards from Buster visits Hinesburg, VT, where Buster seeks a gift for Mother’s Day and is helped by Emma and Lily; he also attends a Christmas-tree bonfire.
Everything I need to know in life I learned from television (5:28 pm)
TVW finally got back on the air, not long before the court dismissed for the day. If you ask me, a sinister error like this is clear evidence of fraud, and I intend to prove it. I rest my case.
While I was out of the loop, David Postman filed several of his typically straight and cogent updates. Apparently, we did not have a Frye hearing, as Clark Bensen, the Republican statistical consultant (and no, I’m not missing an ” ‘s “) is testifying as a “fact witness,” not an “expert witness,” and thus he is not allowed to express any opinion. Good thing that’s not me — a judge barring me from expressing opinion would be a sure fire recipe for a contempt of court citation. Anyway, read what David wrote.
By the way, Bensen’s testimony… that was apparently the evidence of ballot stuffing that the Republicans promised us on Monday. Yeah… right.
Tomorrow morning the Democrats will cross-examine Bensen, and then most of the rest of the day will be spent on the Frye hearing, in which both sides will present their expert statistical witnesses. And if there’s time at the end of the day, the Democrats will make their motion to dismiss. The judge will deny the motion, and then on Friday, the Democrats start presenting their case.
As usual, this afternoon’s episode of Cyberchase serves as an apt metaphor for the day’s entire court proceedings: the Hacker kidnaps the king of a fractured- fairytale world and demands a ransom of golden eggs. Then the Wicked Witch casts a spell that takes away everyone’s ability to count, making it impossible for the fairy-tale folk to gather the required number of eggs until the kids help them learn the role of place value in the number system.
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Comic relief (11:54 pm)
Andrew at NW Progressive has provided a clip of my latest appearance on the John Carlson Show. Listen to me not being taken seriously.