BEST of HA: Luke Esser fucks pigs

[In a fit of nostalgia (and laziness), I’m marking my remaining days here on HA by posting links to some of my favorite and most influential posts. If you have favorites you’d like to see, please let me know.]

10/17/2006: Luke Esser fucks pigs

PigFucker

Luke Esser is a former state senator and the current Washington State Republican Party chair, and yet Google his name, and this is perennially one of the top links you’ll find. And I couldn’t be more proud. Read the whole thing.

Comments

  1. 1

    rhp6033 spews:

    I understand that it was an attempt at parady (or satire, I always get the two confused). As such, it makes a valid point that just because an ethics complaint has been filed, it doesn’t mean that it’s valid. Conspiring to manufacture an ethics complaint right before an election so that it can be used in robo-calls is a particularly obnoxious dirty trick.

    But having said that, I don’t like the idea that I can’t refer this post to others (kids, parents, relatives) due to the language of the message.

    And by admitting it was maliscious, you’ve pretty much managed to give Essner a big step up if he decided to sue you for libel. Sure, comments about public officials are generally protected by the first amendment, but not if the plaintiff can prove that they are maliscious.

  2. 2

    spews:

    rhp6033 @1,

    When did I admit it was malicious? That aside, it would be absolutely hilarious for Esser to attempt to bring a libel suit, as amongst other things, he’d have to prove I’ve damaged his reputation, which of course would require proving that some people might reasonably believe based on this post that he does indeed fuck pigs.

    And FYI, one of the reasons I love this post is because it is simultaneously incredibly crude and very deep. It is a post about satire, as much as it is satire itself, and I find that very intellectually satisfying.

  3. 3

    Zotz sez: This space available! Previous wingnut tenant leaves to spend more time with his goat(s)! spews:

    Parody, malicious, etc. but quite good nonetheless.

    How much longer, Goldy?

    Will there be a going away event? If so, I’d make a point to be there.

    BTW: Keep the greatest hits coming…

  4. 4

    Zotz sez: This space available! Previous wingnut tenant leaves to spend more time with his goat(s)! spews:

    Esser in filing:

    I did not have sex with that pig, honest!

  5. 5

    Zotz sez: This space available! Previous wingnut tenant leaves to spend more time with his goat(s)! spews:

    Pigs, goats, horses, cows, whatever: Republicans are well known animal fuckers and fuckees.

  6. 6

    rhp6033 spews:

    (Tangentially related, but mostly off-topic):

    Speaking of trying to distort the message, the Arizona gun lobby and it’s ardent supporters are doubling down after last weekend’s shootings in Tuscon.

    While there are calls nationwide to prohibit the sale of semi-automatic weapons and restrict a gun’s clip capacity, in Arizona they are claiming that if everyone in the crowd had a gun, then the shooter wouldn’t have gotten off his second shot. As evidence, they point to Joe Zamudio, who was armed when he ran from a nearby convenience store to the scene and helped to disarm the shooter. Bieng armed gave him the confidence to deal with the attacker, they claim.

    But that’s not the whole story, by a long shot. Zamudio had no firearms training other than what his father had taught him. He didn’t teach him too well, aparantly, as he took the safety off his pistol while he was exiting the store and it was still in his pocket. At that point, running toward the scene while holding a pistol in his pocket with the safety off, Zamudio was just as likely to shoot himself or anyone else as he was the victim.

    As he arrived at the scene, he came around a corner and confronted a man holding a gun. “Drop it”, he ordered, and then he grabbed the guy and slammed him into a wall. But he admits that he was only a fraction of a second away from shooting him instead of grabbing him. He also admits he was fortunate that he didn’t shoot the guy, because the man holding the gun was not the shooter – he had just taken the gun away from the shooter.

    The second correct decision he made was not to draw the gun out of his pocket, which he said was because he didn’t want to be confused as being a “second shooter”. In the confusion of such an event, anyone with a gun is likely to be considered a potential threat, either by others in the crowd with guns, or by police officers arriving on the scene. The prospect of a multi-party gun battle between various armed people in a crowd, each believing the others to be the instigator, is an event to be avoided.

    I will mention that I’ve had occassion to think about these things before. My pastor had received some threats to him and his family, and some of us in the church had been quietly warned and asked to look out for “anything suspicious”. The next week I noticed that the guy in front of me had a pistol tucked into a holster in the small of his back, which was visable only when he reached back to pull out his wallet for the offering. I didn’t recognize the guy, so I kept an eye on him. If he stood up, if he reached toward the gun at his back, at what point should I tackle the guy and attempt to disarm him?

    At the first opportunity I stepped toward the back and told my concerns to the head usher. He told me not to worry – he was an off-duty policeman who the church had hired to be present for a few weeks, given the threats. I was relieved, but I also wondered what charges I might have been facing (or worse) if I had tried to disarm a police officer I had mistakenly believed to be a threat?

  7. 7

    spews:

    We, as a nation, are still mourning the victims of a shooting rampage by a mentally ill person, who may have been influenced by writings that demonized politicians.

    Goldy, some may ask why, at this time, are you are reposting this divisive post directed at a politician?

  8. 8

    rhp6033 spews:

    “2. Goldy spews:

    rhp6033 @1,

    When did I admit it was malicious?…”

    From the original post, linked in today’s post:

    “What the robo-call refers to is an informal complaint filed by Esser buddy, contributor and former roommate George Aiton — a complaint that served as the direct inspiration for my own malicious missive.”

    I get your point about Essner having to admit that his reputation was harmed by your posting. I’m sure he would be loath to have to assert, in public court filings, that a mere blogger could actually damage his reputation.

    But now that you are becoming a member of the paid media, remember that being judgement-proof will no longer be an effective discouragement of those seeking to cut you down to size. Not only could they make life unpleasant for you by threatening to garnish your wages, but more importantly your employer would be the main target of their attacks. I’m not saying that you should back off, but just be a bit careful about the manner in which you say it. And if you have to question whether it exposes your employer to a lawsuit, then be sure it gets run by The Stranger’s legal rep before publishing.

    By the way, I recognize your point about needing to give your full efforts to The Stranger. But could you arrange to at least have an open thread posted at least once a day? Once a topic gets above fifty posts, I’m reluctant to even open it.

  9. 9

    Richard Pope spews:

    rhp6033 @ 1

    Maliscious? Your spelling is maliscious, atroscious, and downright viscious! You spell so badly that you might be a secret facist!

    By the way, obvious satire is generally protected by the First Amendment. Remember the lawsuit that Jerry Falwell lost against Larry Flint in the U.S. Supreme Court, where he has satirically accused of having sex with his mother in an outhouse?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H.....v._Falwell

  10. 10

    jeff spews:

    Is it 84 pigs or 94 pigs. With your new newspaper gig you are going to have to get these things straight. Oh wait, you are going to be working for The Stranger.

  11. 11

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    @6 “As evidence, they point to Joe Zamudio, who was armed when he ran from a nearby convenience store to the scene and helped to disarm the shooter. Bieng armed gave him the confidence to deal with the attacker, they claim.”

    It seems to me that since Zamudio didn’t shoot Loughner this negates their whole argument. I mean, what good is a gun, if you don’t use it?

  12. 12

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    Speaking of shooting people, Wikileaks founder Julian Assange called for prosecution of politicians and media figures who “incite murder.”

    Assange specifically mentioned Fox commentator Bob Beckel, who encouraged the public to “illegally shoot” Assange, and Sarah Palin, who said the U.S. government should pursue Assange as if he were an Al Qaeda or Taliban leader.

    Assange predicted the right’s violent rhetoric will incite more shooting sprees.

    http://www.aolnews.com/2011/01.....ting-spre/

  13. 13

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    Another Market Failure

    The U.S., which has the world’s most protected drug market, and also the world’s highest drug prices (hmmm, wonder if there’s a connection?), is experiencing shortages of critical drugs so severe that patients are losing their lives as a result.

    http://www.dailyfinance.com/st...../19783927/

    Roger Rabbit Commentary: When profit-driven companies can’t or won’t supply life-and-death drugs, maybe the government should intervene? I wonder if the pharmaceutical industry should be treated as regulated utilitiesy. After all, the government gives them monopoly status by granting drug patents. What if a private sewer company refused to provide sewer service because it wasn’t making enough money? Would state utility regulators let them do that? I don’t think so. How are life-saving drugs less important than sewers? When the profit incentive clearly isn’t enough, maybe we need to rethink our whole approach to maintaining necessary supplies of critical drugs.

    http://www.dailyfinance.com/st...../19783927/

  14. 14

    proud leftist spews:

    Does Luke Esser still fuck pigs or did he give up his tawdry obsession after Goldy brought this repugnant activity to light?

  15. 15

    Zotz sez: This space available! Previous wingnut tenant leaves to spend more time with his goat(s)! spews:

    It seems to me that since Zamudio didn’t shoot Loughner this negates their whole argument. I mean, what good is a gun, if you don’t use it?

    Silly rabbit, it’s basically a surrogate penis — which are all about compensating for confidence, or lack thereof — often displayed but almost never “used”.

  16. 17

    Ekim spews:

    Hey Zotz, rumor has it that the previous wingnut tenant had lots of goats… and a few chickens.

  17. 18

    Ekim spews:

    My question is why the trolls here preferred goats when Luke Esser had a thing for pigs. Well, OK, the Montana Cyniclown does have a thing for sheep.

  18. 19

    Ekim spews:

    10. jeff spews:

    Is it 84 pigs or 94 pigs. With your new newspaper gig you are going to have to get these things straight. Oh wait, you are going to be working for The Stranger.

    Hey jeff, you don’t know? Hasn’t Luke invited you over to share a pig or two with him? Too bad.

    I’m sure the Troll will share one of his goats if you ask nicely.

  19. 20

    Zotz sez: This space available! Previous wingnut tenant leaves to spend more time with his goat(s)! spews:

    I saw Zamudio interviewed yesterday. He said he always carries and doesn’t support any laws to control guns because laws don’t keep criminals and the mentally ill from obtaining guns.

    He’s right about that.

    Did you know that there are an estimated 90 guns for every 100 Americans? That’s 270 million some odd guns.

    rhp shares his usual wonderful thinking on guns to which I am very sympatico.

    But the truth is, unlike rhp and most of us here, most Americans lead largely “unexamined” lives.

    Guns and violence are deeply embedded in America and Americans and there is no law (especially post Heller) that will ever change that in my opinion.

  20. 21

    Ekim spews:

    20. Zotz sez: This space available! Previous wingnut tenant leaves to spend more time with his goat(s)! spews:

    But the truth is, unlike rhp and most of us here, most Americans lead largely “unexamined” lives.

    This may no longer be true since the passage of the Patriot Act by Bush and Company.

  21. 22

    spews:

    Does any else here notice that when I ask Goldy a difficult question, he quickly puts up another post, presumably trying to bury my hard-hitting comment?

  22. 24

    Ekim spews:

    22. Troll spews:

    Does any else here notice that when I ask Goldy a difficult question, he quickly puts up another post, presumably trying to bury my hard-hitting comment?

    We figure it is because your questions are as relevant as you are. In other words, go back to your goats, they miss you. And be sure to invite jeff over.

  23. 25

    rhp6033 spews:

    “9. Richard Pope spews:

    rhp6033 @ 1

    Maliscious? Your spelling is maliscious, atroscious, and downright viscious! You spell so badly that you might be a secret facist!…”

    Point taken, and I appreciate (sp?) the humor. But since this post doesn’t provide spell-check, it’s simply not going to get any better. My spelling has been attrocious (sp?) since grade school, and as I get older I find it’s actually getting worse. I used to try to type my posts in MS Word so I could spell-check them, but in the internet world that mean the post had become irrelevent (sp?) by the time I posted it, so I gave up.

    Maliscious? Your spelling is maliscious, atroscious, and downright viscious! You spell so badly that you might be a secret facist!

  24. 26

    YellowPup spews:

    Ah yes, this is a classic. I think this was one of the first posts I ever read on HA. First I was shocked, then I laughed, then I was hooked.

  25. 27

    Tondaleo Lipshitz spews:

    …and don’t even get me started on the subject of Luke and his not so secret love affair with goats.

  26. 28

    proud leftist spews:

    With regard to the tawdry topic of Republican bestiality, does anyone know if Republicans who engage in such behavior tend to be faithful to a particular species, or do they consort with whatever poor beast might be available?

  27. 29

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    @15 Reminds me of a cartoon in Playboy magazine years ago. A naked guy with a gun holster strapped around his hip is staring out the window at a moonlit sky. The naked woman in bed says, “All right, you can wear it to bed, if it makes you feel like a man.”

  28. 31

    Zotz sez: This space available! Previous wingnut tenant leaves to spend more time with his goat(s)! spews:

    @25: We got your message, correctly spelled or not (although I was obliquely commenting on “not” in my 1st comment…;-).

    I used to edit my dad’s papers before publishing (and before there were good spell checkers). Brilliant engineer, shitty speller.

    I suggest google as a quick spell checker when you aren’t sure. It usually suggests the right spelling no matter how “atroshus” the attempt.

  29. 32

    Zotz sez: This space available! Previous wingnut tenant leaves to spend more time with his goat(s)! spews:

    @28: The preferred Republican animal appears to be goats. Googling it was fun! Ran across this:

    Florida is one of only 16 states that still permit bestiality -– a fact that
    animal-rights activist and Sunrise Sen. Nan Rich learned to her horror when a
    Panhandle man three years ago was suspected of accidentally asphyxiating a family
    goat with which he was copulating.

    But the R controlled Fla legislature couldn’t quite bring themselves to ban bestiality.

    And this (@C&L):

    What is it about having sex with animals that compulsively sticks in right-wingers’ heads? It’s an obsession with conservatives.

    I remember when the freak known as Neal Horsley (Georgia R Gov candidate) famously admitted to having sex with farm animals to Alan Colmes a few years ago.

    Is it true?” Colmes asked.

    “Hey, Alan, if you want to accuse me of having sex when I was a fool, I did everything that crossed my mind that looked like I…”

    AC: “You had sex with animals?”

    NH: “Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.”

    AC: “I’m not so sure that that is so.”

    NH: “You didn’t grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?”

    AC: “Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?”

    NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality… Welcome to domestic life on the farm…”

    Horsley:You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You’re naive. You know better than that… If it’s warm and it’s damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it.”

  30. 33

    Liberal Scientist spews:

    I was thinking about this gun issue this morning…

    I had read a discussion about how the gun-obsessed assert that if there were more good citizens with guns, then events like the Arizona shooting wouldn’t happen, because we’d all be armed to the teeth. As RHP very astutely points out above, the very armed and very untrained but well meaning fellow very nearly made matters much worse, and any assistance he provided had nothing to do with his gun.

    Can you imagine what would have happened if a bunch of people at that event pulled out their ‘pieces’ and opened fire? It would have been a horrific caricature, emphasis on horrific.

    There’s something not rational about the affinity for firearms – which is why I think it’s such a potent sociopolitical tool that is very effectively exploited. It’s not just about individual liberty and self-protection or any of the other ‘rational’ defenses put forward by gun advocates.

    There’s something totemic about guns for many people – it’s symbolic in a very powerful and very personal way – guns are both literally and symbolically power objects, religious objects. Acting as a totem, or a touchstone, or a fetish, discussion about it is impossible on a rational level. There’s something about identity suffused with guns among a part of the populace that tends to be white and conservative and religious – and like those other affinities, is effectively used to manipulate via fear.

    This gun thing is not unlike a drug – which is one reason why, I think, that there are so many guns awash in our society, and access to more is so zealously/violently protected – it is very anvantageous to get people focus on them, and the (not very real) threat that BIG GOVERNMENT is going to try to take them away – it’s ongoing crisis and a very effective mobilization tool.

  31. 34

    proud leftist spews:

    32
    In this last election, Florida moved significantly to the right. I wonder if the word is out among Rs who love animals that Florida welcomes them, rather than condemns them, so we’re seeing a lot of R emigration to Florida. I wonder, too, if the real reason Cynny doesn’t post here anymore is because he moved to Florida and just doesn’t have time to do anything but “love.”

  32. 37

    Winston Wolf spews:

    Goldy’s letter is a perfect example of why he is non-relevant and seen as a joke by most people in the real world.

    Goldfarb, you will fit right in at the Stranger…of course your irrelevant postings will take second fiddle to Dan Thavage’s anal sex advice column.

    yep, you sure moved up in the world.

  33. 38

    Steve spews:

    @34 Strange things must be going on in Florida.

    “Baa Means No Goat Abuse 3.5″ Button (100 pack)
    If you live in Florida, you know what this is about. Goat abuse of the worst kind. Show your opposition. The goats can’t speak, they can only say Baa Means No. Speak up for the goats. Get active!”

    http://www.cafepress.com/+baa_.....,209341556

  34. 43

    Silme Valawa spews:

    I just have to say that I am neither a fig plucker nor a fig plucker’s son, but I’ll pluck the figs until the fig plucker comes.

  35. 45

    Ekim spews:

    37. Winston Wolf spews:

    Goldy’s letter is a perfect example of why he is non-relevant and seen as a joke by most people in the real world.

    So why do you waste your time here?