I usually don’t give much thought to the spam that makes it through my filter, and most of it is also boring and predictable (whoever knew there were so many dead people with unclaimed millions running around Africa and Asia?). But one that popped in today, sent with malicious intent and undoubtably toxic attachment by someone in the Eastern Hemisphere, is both pretty clever and unintentionally hilarious:
From: Delta Air Lines
Thanks for the purchase!
Booking number: 3LSMXK
You will find attached to this letter PASSENGER ITINERARY RECEIPT of your electronic ticket.
It verifies that you paid the ticket in full and confirms your right for air travel and luggage transportation by the indicated flight Delta Air Lines.
On board you will be offered:
– daily press.
You are guaranteed top-quality services and attention on the part of our benevolent personnel.
We recommend you to print PASSENGER ITINERARY RECEIPT and take it alone to the airport. It will help you to pass control and registration procedures faster.
See you on board!
Delta Air Lines
Aside from the telltale misuses of American English (“daily press,” “control and registration procedures”), it’s pretty clear the author is not only not a Delta employee, but has never experienced domestic American air travel (and probably can’t even imagine it). I mean, really: Food? Top-quality services? Benevolent personnel?