Jesus… even when the Seattle Bothell Botch-all Times editorial board gets it right, they manage to get it wrong:
Judge, Bassett for Mercer Island
TWO candidates deserve election to the Mercer Island City Council based on their collective acumen and service. Kathleen Judge receives the endorsement for Position 3 and Bruce Bassett is best qualified for Position 5.
Oh. My. God. It’s Maureen Judge… MAUREEN… not “Kathleen.” How the hell do you print an editorial endorsement of a candidate and get their name wrong?!
That said, it’s a pretty damn good endorsement…
Location is the island city’s most direct influence on the region. A fraction the size of Bellevue or Renton, Mercer Island and its representatives play important roles in transportation, regional planning and cross-lake cooperation.
Judge and Bassett seem best-prepared for that role. The Island is ready for the next generation of leadership to step into the ranks of prominent Island voices of the past.
A glance at the town center, with its booming condos and businesses, is a look into the future of Mercer Island. With near-capacity on local roads and parking, with a new park-and-ride facility dominating the landscape south of Interstate 90, and with the rattle of old utilities framing future debates, the community needs energy and an infusion of new talent.
Absolutely. And speaking of the need for “an infusion of new talent,” I wonder if there are any fact checker positions open at the Times?
That is genuinely hilarious.
Goldy,
You’ve mentioned it before, but doesn’t it bear repeating each time MAUREEN Judge’s name comes up that you have a…unique…relationship with her?
Would a gig on the Mercer Island City Council result in a change in spousal maintenance payments, if any?
The Piper
Ouch…the Piper just played you like a bagpipe.
The Piper just continues farting out meaningless drivel from his endless supply of stupidity. His technique is to put as much trash in here as the thread will hold because he is so convinced that he is a brilliant, witty conversationalist. He doesn’t comprehend simple puns by other people. doesn’t comprehend other posts, because he’s constantly trying to show how urbane and literate he is. He is a condescending elephant’s ass who has no balls and has to hide behind the reputations of his kids because he has no substance of his own.
If you think he demonstrates skill, then that’s a pretty good indicator of your level of idiocy.
@4
Well said. There are few people who say so little with so many words, and understand even less. The right-wing echo chamber is not quite dead yet. The dead-enders like Crackpiper will continue on long after the expiration date. But there are still real conservatives out there who understand the war and understand what’s going on in the world. Unfortunately, many of them are still not welcome in the Republican Party, and we should be reaching out to them.
Piper @2, Asshole @3,
You guys are fucking idiots. And lazy at that. A) I’ve made no secret that Maureen is my ex-wife; B) My divorce records are not sealed (I’m sure Richard’s seen them) and there are no spousal payments; and C) Mercer Island City Council doesn’t pay shit. Maybe a few hundred dollars a month or something.
At least when I speculate, I try to base my speculation on facts, not fantasy.
$200 per month. Unless you’re the mayor. Then you get twice that.
@7…BA…
Top dollar wages!
The Piper
@6…Goldy…
Thank you for clarifying the exact category of idiot you believe best suits me. I’m all in favor of never leaving a doubt, which is why every time your mention MAUREEN Judge it behoves you to remind readers and posters that she is the form Mrs. Goldy.
The newly mislead here are entitled to full disclosure not simply once, but every time it comes up. While bloggers are still an a no-man’s-land of quasi-journalism versus, as Darryl puts it, “recreation,” you don’t do your overall credibility as a commentator any favors by not being scrupulous in identifying possible and potential personal biases and interests. They may not be real biases or real interests as far as you’re concerned, but since perception is everything, how they’re viewed by those on the outside looking in is what’s important.
It’s not a question of being lazy on my part, but of being transparent and open on yours.
The Piper
@4…Curlish/Chump/Chimp/Chadt…
Keep trying…someday you might move up from Class “B” in the insult league to Class “A,” which is still a long way from the The Show. Try these:
You’re a mouse studying to be a rat.
– Wilson Mizner
I regard you with an indifference bordering on aversion.
– Robert Louis Stevenson
If only you’d wash your neck, I’d wring it.
– John Sparrow
The best part of you ran down your mother’s legs.
– Jackie Gleason
I fart in your general direction.
– Monty Python
I’d suggest you study the fine art of insults, but since books on the subject most often use words, not pictures, they wouldn’t be of help to you.
Seriously…were you loathed by members of your family?
The Piper
PS: None of these insults are known to have appeared in any Seattle Times endorsement of any candidate.
It’s not a question of being lazy on my part, but of being transparent and open on yours.
Now that is the dumbest thing you’ve ever posted, PipSqueak, and that is saying something. You need to go and reread Goldy’s post at 6, you know, where he states
Are you a congenital idiot, or is it learned?
@2 “you have a…unique…relationship with her”
What’s unique about being an ex? Half the people in America are exes.
Collectively, the GOP candidates have had more marriages than all of Mercer Island’s synagogues put together.
@5…Lee…
You’re not your usual self today, and I noticed the improvement immediately.
Please define “real conservative,” and then tell me how you relate to them. Somehow, I don’t think I’ll see you dipping into the works of von Mises, Chambers, von Hayek, Gilder, Buckley, Burke, Friedman, Sowell, Victor Davis Hanson, Reagan, et al.
I’ll bet your idea of a “true conservative” is Soupy Sales. No? Yes?
The Piper
@6 Don’t respond to them, G. It has the same effect as feeding stray cats.
The HA wingnut-kicking squad will take care of them.
@11…T…
But he didn’t make that clear up front in the lead verbiage on this thread. Someone hitherto unaware of the Goldy’s comings and goings wouldn’t have known that he and Ms. Judge were, at one time, married.
Of lesser things conflict of interest allegations have not only been planted, but grew and bore much fruit.
The Piper
@8 No, Republican wages. MI is a Republican town.
@12…RR…
Whatever relationship Goldy has/had with Ms. Judge is, by definition, unique since it included only them and no one else.
The Piper
@9 “Thank you for clarifying the exact category of idiot you believe best suits me. I’m all in favor of never leaving a doubt, which is why every time [your] mention MAUREEN Judge it [behoves] you to remind readers and posters that she is the [form] Mrs. Goldy”
Piper, thanks for clarifying the exact category of idiot you are is one who can’t type/spell.
(Note: I can’t type, either, but I’m only a fucking rabbit.)
@16…RR…
I’m told rabbit is a sweet taste and fries up nicely in a skillet.
Remember…your kind are bred for our pleasure…as pets, food, and fur…
The Piper
When did VD Hanson become a “real” or “true” conservative? Unless conservative is a euphemism for psychotic.
Piper:
What’s “curlish”. Did you mean “churlish”. How could you screw up such a SIMPLE word, dolt? You continually demonstrate that you’re a fool, but keep slithering back here for more contempt. S&M is better practiced in private, but you are always good for laughs. And you actually made it through a post without invoking your kids for authentication.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!
Idiot.
@20…RR…
Thank you for correcting my spelling and grammar. When you are are right, I have no qualms saying as such.
Not being a rabbit, I have no excuse for imprecision in spelling or context.
The English language is too precious a resource not to be respected.
The Piper
@23…CHURLISH/Chump/Chimp/Chadt…
I accept your rebuke in re spelling.
The rest of your pre-flush still is pretty bush league.
The Piper
@10 Piper, when you insult people, you’re expected to write your own material. Obtaining insults with a search engine is declasse. It demonstrates a lack of originality, creativity, and imagination on your part. It’s also a sign of inveterate laziness. The use of cliches imparts to your insults a stiffness and triteness that seems lacking in intellectual energy. It is apt to compare your insults to reading yesterday’s newspaper. They are soooo yawn.
SewerPiper:
You have fewer balls (by two, at least) than the rabbit. Good luck with that. Did you lose them after your kids were born, or were they (hopefully) adopted. It would be best if your kind didn’t reproduce.
@14 “… the works of … Reagan” …? You mean that guy could read, let alone write? I don’t believe it.
Wasn’t Reagan the author of a coloring book? Mrs. Rabbit claims he was. If so, I didn’t know about this.
@14
Please define “real conservative,” and then tell me how you relate to them.
I think of people like Barry Goldwater, William F. Buckley, and Milton Friedman when I think of real conservatives. And all of them think (in Friedman and Goldwater’s case, thought) the neocons and the christian conservatives (the evolution denier and gay-bashers in particular) are frauds who don’t understand real conservatism and how the world really works.
I think all of them are/were valuable thinkers and approached politics from a very rational perspective. Where I tend to differ from them is on matters of what society should owe to its least fortunate members. But that is a matter of morality and an opinion for where disagreement is expected and valuable. You are not in the same league as any of those men. You’re a relatively dumb individual who knows enough right-wing talking points to make a valiant effort to sound like you know what you’re talking about.
@17 What “conflict of interest” do you have in mind? Even my sparkling imagination can’t dream one up. If you can conjure a “conflict of interest” out of this situation, you can make more out of nothing than David Copperfield.
@19 In that sense, we’d have to consider you a unique child of Mr. and Mrs. Scott, and you certainly are.
Pooper:
You have a lot of nerve trying to bring me down to your “bush league” level. You DO understand that one, don’t you. No?
Ask Roger?
S’pose I should say “an unique” in the interest of literacy … wouldn’t want our Troll Illiterates to get the idea that putting an “a” before an “u” is proper usage (on the other hand, sometimes it is) …
@21 Old, Piper. Been used in these threads before. Not original; not fresh; obvious. Try again.
– Gong –
Would the next contestant come on stage, please.
@26 RR
I think in fairness to Scott, that typing “declasse” without the accent grave is, well, declasse. I’m SURE Pipsqueak ahs an ‘Accent grave’ on HIS keyboard, what with his superior erudition, and all.
@34…RR…
Just remember what Churchill said about ending sentances with prepositions…Rules are made to be broken.
The Piper
@35…RR…
Not by me…
The Piper
ahs=has
233 A “bush” is any vegetation I can see over.
should be @33
I find jelly in the keys every time Mrs. Rabbit uses this computer. It makes them stick.
@36…CHURLISH/Chump/Chimp/Chadt…
Good little Canadian you are, I’m sure you’re equally at home in French as well as English.
I never claimed advanced-level keyboarding skills. Many mysteries buried under the joint pressing of Ctrl and another key remain unknown to me. Life is a constant learning journey!
Please try again…I have the patience…
The Piper
@37 Churchill never said anything about ending sentances with a preposition. Churchill, even though he won the Nobel Literature Prize, had no fucking idea what a “sentance” is. Neither do I. Is that a misspelling of seance? (Note: Accent grave pending operator training.)
If Nancy Reagan can end her seances with a preposition, why can’t I end my sentances (sic) with a preposition? Why should Republicans hog all the prepositions? Aren’t there enough prepositions to go around so everyone can use one?
Well. pooper, it’s been fun, but I have hungry servers to attend to, so that your mail will be correctly routed. I have a real job.
People DO write to you?
No? That explains a lot.
You have, well, this place with which to entertain yourself.
You might try to get a job, then you wouldn’t have to ask your wife/children for money so often.
You might try to find a rehabilitation agency, they can do miracles with all sorts and kinds of losers these days.
@38 What’s your next treat for us, a new invention called “the wheel”?
@36 Yes, I think we should keep him alive for a while, so he can feel our kicks.
@43 N.B., blind foolish stubbornness is not to be confused (nor compared) with patience.
@46 “You might try to find a rehabilitation agency, they can do miracles with all sorts and kinds of losers these days.”
Every agency I’ve contacted says they can’t do anything with Republicans. They tell me that’s like trying to train a rock to sing.
@37…RR…
Pardon me: SENTENCE…
I am, on occasion, spelling differently abled.
FYI…I have no knowledge whether Sir Winston ever attended a seance.
The Piper
Wow! This thread is already up to 50 posts! That’s more discourse than you see on the sucky little waitress-bashing blog in a fucking month.
Piper demonstrates in spades the unmerited arrogance that is so endemic among Republicans–they all seem to think they have some basis for telling the rest of us how to live our lives. Their arrogance blinds them to the reality of our just not giving a damn about the “advice” they offer us.
@51 Some of us think it affects more than your spelling.
@47…RR…
It sure worked wonders on yo momma!
The Piper
@55 ???
@55 Ahhh … I get it now … were you a witness to that event? Were YOU the sonuvabitch behind the wheel of that SUV that turned mommy (sniffle) into road pizza?
Fucking Republican killers …
@53…PL…
Trust me…I have no illusions…
For all you know, I was sent here to torment you not by Republican elements, but at the urging of Democrats who, unable politically to douse you with kerosene and light you on fire, find you pestilent and odious on the order of an idiot ne’er-do-well nephew who takes up residence on your couch, drinks all your beer, eats all your Doritos, and clogs your toilet for weeks and weeks on end.
He’s your sister’s son, and as much as you’d like to give him the heave-ho, you can’t because you don’t want to see your sister cry.
Family politics do get sticky…Ask Mrs. Rabbit.
The Piper
@57…RR…
I know for a fact that the driver thereof was awarded a Presidential Medal of Freedom From Rabbits for the civic service he rendered.
She should have looked both ways…And as a good son, why weren’t you there to help her safely cross the street? Or were you too engaged at the time in doing what rabbits are most notorious for…breeding?
The Piper
#55 — “It sure worked wonders on yo momma!” Piper Scott
I’m glad you brought that subject up — because there’s a new game afoot (literary reference) called white-boy ‘yo momma!’ jokes. I think you would excel at this game.
Here’s a few to get you started:
“You know, brother, your mother is so unattractive, the pool-boy scooped her out with his skimmer and attempted to dispose of her!”
“Halloo there brother! Your mother is so short, you could place her in the kitchen trash-compactor! Be careful, though, if you hit the button, you might squash her! Ha!”
Piper @ 59
Trust me, I do not feel “tormented.” All I ask from you unfortunate folks who laud fantasy over fact is that you occasionally amuse me. C’mon, m’lad, you can do better than just dressing up talking points in flowery language. Show some independent thought every now and again.
@59
For all you know, I was sent here to torment you not by Republican elements, but at the urging of Democrats who, unable politically to douse you with kerosene and light you on fire, find you pestilent and odious on the order of an idiot ne’er-do-well nephew who takes up residence on your couch, drinks all your beer, eats all your Doritos, and clogs your toilet for weeks and weeks on end.
I think you’re gravely underestimating what we know. What you’ve been saying here for the past few months could clog every toilet in the Pacific Northwest.
I don’t want to excuse The Times, but you’ve been known to make a mistake.
In your post announcing Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize, you changed “Swedes” to “Norwegians” after Dutch identified your error in the comments thread.
@61…JP…
You write your own material?
If so…as a joke writer, don’t quit your day job…
“Your mother really would like to tell you about your father, but they don’t keep good records of such things at the Bunny Ranch.”
“Your mother, upon consideration of you, wishes she’d made a different choice at the abortion clinic.”
“Your mother admits it was a mistake to mate with a hyena.”
“Your mother is on record as the only woman ever to give birth out of her other orifice.”
“Your mother was the subject of a scholarly work by Jane Goodall.”
“Your mother takes the ultimate ‘before’ picture.”
“Your mother’s feet aren’t that big since she wears size two and a half…two cowhides and a half a keg of nails.”
You can tell RR that no search engine looked up these…
The Piper
@62…PL…
After you…
The Piper
@63…Lee…
Remember…I said the possibility exists that I was sent here by DEMOCRATS, and that they’re the ones who so regard you.
And it’s neither clever nor convincing to re-craft an insult tossed your way and try to send it back. Really…were you inspired by that scene in Borat where, after excusing himself to visit the nether regions, he comes back to the dinner party with his wretched refuse enclosed in a little white sack?
You must try harder or there will be no “justice” for you under any circumstances…
The Piper
@63
Remember…I said the possibility exists that I was sent here by DEMOCRATS, and that they’re the ones who so regard you.
I know what you said. Do I have to explain my comeback using smaller words?
And it’s neither clever nor convincing to re-craft an insult tossed your way and try to send it back.
I’m not really trying to convince you. I’m entertaining all the other commenters here.
Really…were you inspired by that scene in Borat where, after excusing himself to visit the nether regions, he comes back to the dinner party with his wretched refuse enclosed in a little white sack?
I’m inspired by every scene in that movie. Cohen operates on a different level than normal human beings, and his Borat character is an absolutely genius way to get people to reveal their real contradictions and hypocrisies. Not to reveal too much, but that’s pretty much what I’m doing with you, although you’re obviously too stupid to figure that out. But at the least the other commenters here get a laugh out of it.
#65 — “Your mother really would like to tell you about your father, but they don’t keep good records of such things at the Bunny Ranch.” Piper Scott
Au contraire, oh airy squeeker!
That is the ONE place where excellent records of time, date, place, and receptacle are kept.
“It’s a wise child that knows his own father!” The Bard of Avon
And with that said, I shall spin my index finger in the air, loudly ejaculate: “ACTING!” and exit, stage left.
@68:
And so you are entertaining us. (Thank goodness for that.)
Re Borat, I do need to rent that, but I have to say I do so love Cohen’s Bruno character! I’d love to see Bruno interview our little piper, though I’m sure it wouldn’t be as good as when he interviewed that closeted, homophobic preacher (no fault of Cohen’s)!
Goldy,
Jeesh…something of a sore point. Actually my first comment was complimenting you on a genuinely funny post, my second was complimenting Piper for the same. Sorry you only see humor in your own rants.
@70
Re Borat, I do need to rent that, but I have to say I do so love Cohen’s Bruno character! I’d love to see Bruno interview our little piper, though I’m sure it wouldn’t be as good as when he interviewed that closeted, homophobic preacher (no fault of Cohen’s)!
Dude, Borat was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Just outrageously funny.
Chadt,
“He doesn’t comprehend simple puns by other people.”
Man you fucking NAILED him. I’ll bet Piper won’t be posting for years after that devastating comeback.
@69…JP…
You know about the record keeping protocals at the Bunny Ranch because…….???????
Can’t wait to get my daily NSA abstracts on all your VISA transactions!
The Piper
@70…T…
Borat is currently on the play list for HBO…
The Piper
@68…Lee…
Only someone who considered a move to Kent to be a step up in the world would find inspiration from Borat.
Kent reminds me of Borat’s village, but without it’s charm.
No doubt John Keister would make a similar comparison…But I made it first!
The Piper
#74 — “You know about the record keeping protocals at the Bunny Ranch because…….???????”
I know they’ve been audited. They have to keep some sort of inventory of services provided AND since they are renting out rooms, they are required by law to keep an accurate record of occupancy.
To tell you the truth, I think that a 19 year old hoor would probably be the surest cure for erectile dysfunction.
Hell, even a lap dance would do the trick — so to speak.
@73
If you paid attention to the other threads, or your memory weren’t impaired by your addiction to Piper, you’d have understood the reference. Instead, you chose to post irrelevant drivel anyway.
It’s impossible to shut that compulsive hole with anything normal people have at their disposal, and I imagine Pooper will be “entertaining” us until he eventually chokes on his own shit.
Piper, the only difference between a foxy lady looking for a doctor to marry and a $2 hoor is one of price, not kind.
Roger is the only one I know of who might remember an ancient comic strip that perfectly exemplifies Piper:
Major Hoople.
Fap!
Of course, the Major wore a fez, and not a hairy purse.
Tell us Piper, does the hairy purse match your heels?
@80…CHURLISH/Chump/Chimp/Chadt…
Acutally, the term “sporran” is Gaelic for “purse.”
Even a blind pig finds an acorn once in awhile.
The Piper
So, what has that to do with your heels? You can’t answer a simple question in your rush to blind us with your brilliance.
I’ll go get my sun glasses.
Dolt.
@80…CHURLISH/Chump/Chimp/Chadt…
Actually…I used to own a fez…It was my late-father’s from his days as a Mason and Shriner.
I bear no resemblance to Major Hoople, whose “Our Boarding House” comic strip ran during through the 60’s and 70’s.
Speaking of comic strips…did you ever get over your hots for Mary Worth?
The Piper
Chadt,
“If you paid attention to the other threads, or your memory weren’t impaired by your addiction to Piper, you’d have understood the reference.”
Wow…please forgive me for somehow missing a doubtlessly side splitting “pun” in one of your countless posts in god knows how manythreads. I’m sure I’m the poorer for it.
It really doesn’t matter,. We’re aware that Pipers excessive fecal material will spawn all sorts of wingnut guttersnipes. It’s just one of the results of having a public health hazard like Piper infecting the place.
Who is this pipsqueaker fellow, anyway?
@86 Ms Hag
He is Scott St Clair:www.scottstclair.com, aka Piper Scott
He is just another pain-in-the-ass, right-wing preacher who considers himself God’s gift to the human race, literary genius par excellence, and far better than the likes of us {that would include you, regardless of who you are}.
You can check any of the prior comment threads for hundreds of lines of his finest incisive wit.
Oh, yes; and he wears a plaid skirt, carries a hairy purse, and squeezes a dead sheep to produce wretched noises marginally related to a western diatonic scale. K blunt, more or less. And that is the MOST consonant thing about him.
He is highly respected here. Just ask him.
Uhm… on second thought, don’t bother; he’ll tell you anyway.
Not only that, but when the Times endorsed Bruce Harrell, they misspelled Venus Velazquez’s name. Makes you wonder.
Chadt,
No really…I think you’re amazing. Your clever use of puns should be celebrated. My sincerest apologies for not follwing your genuinely original and biting insults involving fecal matter more closely.