Happy New Year, everyone! Bear with us as we welcome into this world the firstborn headlines of 2008:
The Seattle Times gets the nod for the very first headline of the year, giving birth to a bouncing 24-pt. sans serif named “Skiers packing snowy slopes” at the propitious hour of exactly 12:00 a.m. And what a cute little tyke she is, all white and fluffy. Photo included!
It took the P-I 34 minutes after midnight to produce its own 24-pt. sans serif zinger, the slightly longer and heavier “Woman stabbed to death on Capitol Hill.” As my 8-year-old nephew might put it, Yuuucccck. Looks like 2008 got off a bit on the wrong foot over at the spinning globe. As for the identical fonts, looks to me like somebody’s been sharing templates…might wanna run a DNA check over there (wink wink).
These are the clear winners, folks. As far as I can tell, the TV stations haven’t registered any newborns yet for 2008. And I have to confess, I expected nothing from the folks at Slog, since their headlines are usually written by barely intelligible unpaid interns who seldom drag themselves out of bed before 9. But whaddyaknow, they get 3rd place with Ka-Bust. Breaking the mold as usual, Slog brought into the world an actual serifed head, topping a story about the Needle fireworks not working.
(Here at HA we beat everyone, of course, with Will’s kicking and screaming “Happy New Year!” video post right on the button at 12 a.m…try it with a hangover!)
Here’s a current event topic for all the HA Happy Hooligans to ponder: Should Joseph McEnroe and Michele Anderson be liable fo the death penalty in the Christmas Eve murder of six-members of Anderson’s family?
The Piper
re 1: Of course they should. But, as our faux president in chief has often reminded us, it’s to soon to pardon someone until the guilty verdict is in.
My un-favorite all-time Pee-Eye headline was:
Cobain lay dead three days
I cancelled my sub the day they ran it. I told them I am not a maggot, and I don’t want to read news for maggots.
“News for Maggots” could be the Pee-Eye’s motto.
@1 … why would that be relvant to HA?
There is big story this AM. Nader has endorsed Edwards!
I have never liked Nbader .. for all his good intent, the man is self serving. OTOH, Nader makes me wonder about my concern that Edwards is … well a lawyer looking for Resume.
Newsweek had a piuece on Edwards, clearly meant ot be puff piece, it left me feeling that Edwards ahs all the commitment (ibn a positive sense) and self convction of a top leve attorney who has taken n a “moral” case. My problem witht this is that I see this sort of lawyer behavior as a kind of well paid method acting.
So, Ralphy may or may not be my choice and I reamin BHO-08 devotee, but the fact that an egotist like Nader ses enough common cause with Edwards, make me suspect that Edwards is really committed to the things he says.
Can I vote for a lawter?
@4…Steve…
Why is relevent to HA and the Happy Hooligans? Because it’s a pressing local story, the decision to seek the death penalty tests the values of a great many people in this part of the country on the morality of it, and it gives you and others an opportunity to come out foresquare either in favor of it or opposed to it…then defend your position.
That Ralph Nader endorsed John Edwards isn’t surprising…two peas in a pod, and conceivably the kiss of death for Edwards. Come Super Tuesday (February 5th), what’s left of Edwards will be crushed by an increasingly negative HRC and Obama, who appeals to dewey-eyed Dems who are long on gossamer and short on gruesome experience.
South Carolina’s primary on January 26th may even drive a stake in the heart of his campaign before Super Tuesday. If Edwards can’t garner credible support in a state neighboring his own, he’s toast.
Of course, then he can go back to suing corporations thus making himself richer and adding to the cost of all our lives.
Doesn’t HRC remind many people of either a vindictive ex-wife or vicious mother-in-law?
The Piper
Why would anybody defend anything to you, pipe?
Your biggest discovery of 2007 is that George was “elected.” PLEASE put down the pipe.
He can go back to suing corporations thus making himself richer and adding to the cost of all our lives.
It’s all about accountability, Bull Pooper, something to which you cheap labor conservatives are completely allergic. Put out shoddy products and you pay the price for the harm they do.
Here’s another little thing that will add to costs: racism.
http://www.npr.org/templates/s.....d=17758882
Illegals are deporting themselves from Arizona because they’re sick and fucking tired of brown people haters. They also see the writing on the wall. Arizona is going to go after employers who try to pad their pockets with cheap illegal labor.
Now the cheap labor conservatives are going to have to hire the brown people haters! Fitting justice! They deserve each other.
Of course they won’t do it if they can help it. They’ll do whatever they can to follow that cheap labor into Mexico.
@5 Piper ….
errr ahhhh
Didn’t you just fill the HA thread with a massive DL from your Bible? Seems to me that something as important as the death penalty would be determined by a well defined law from your God? Ahhhh?
Tell you what, as a Jew I look at Christinas in love witht the death penalty a bit … well skeptically. Are you sure you aren’t interested in revenge????Seems rather bloody to me.
As for nader/Edwards .. you have so little interest in what anyone has done or stands for that it frightens me. I still do not know why you are Republican other than that you have blind faith in elephant turds. You do not like Edwards because he is a DEMO!
Actually, in most issues , Huckabee and Edwards are alike. Are you opposed the the Huck because he has campaigned vs. corporate greed? So tell us, what is there in Edwards stands that makes you want him t lose?
Lee, others wann bet?
I think I will see if my opld friend Harvey is arounf and ask him to andwer for pipper.
The Pee-Eye doesn’t have a weekend or holiday editorial staff anymore. The Bothell Times copyeditors fill in for them on those days.
How Republicans Celebrate New Year’s
You can tell Republicans are in power … just read news reports from around the country:
“Authorities in several cities, including Phoenix, Dallas and Detroit, pleaded with residents not to celebrate by firing guns skyward. Emergency Medical Service technicians in New Orleans planned to don combat helmets made from the same fiber used in bullet-resistant vests.”
and
“‘It’s amazing how much garbage people leave,’ said Brian Hawkes, visiting from Birmingham, England. ‘I wouldn’t want this job to clean up after them.'”
Quoted under fair use; for complete story and/or copyright info see http://news.aol.com/story/_a/r.....5509990010
“a story about the Needle fireworks not working”
According to standard “news judgment,” this should have beent the top national story this morning, not the election violence in Kenya, where 50 refugees holed up in a church where burned to death by a mob of partisan extremists.
This incident eerily reminds me of the organized Republican election violence in Miami back in 2000, and also reminds me that only a thin thread separates our own country from the animalistic behavior that attends elections in other countries.
It wouldn’t take much — only a few Republican operatives — to make our elections look like those third world elections.
We’re already 90% of the way there. The only thing that’s missing is the shootings, machete killings, and burning churches.
2008’s First Outrageous Headline
“Lynnwood man held in 15th DUI arrest
“By Jennifer Sullivan
“Seattle Times staff reporter
“A 51-year-old Lynnwood man … allegedly struck a Toyota with his Ford pickup as he was exiting Interstate 5 near Northgate Mall around 12:30 p.m. After knocking the Toyota into a Mazda, [the man] backed up his truck and drove off, the State Patrol said. … [T]roopers chased the pickup until it stopped near Northeast 130th Street and Roosevelt Way Northeast. The suspect got out, tried to fight authorities and was arrested after being shot with a Taser, the State Patrol said. … [The man] was booked into the King County Jail for … drunken driving and … outstanding warrants — two for eluding police and one for a previous DUI, the State Patrol said. He was also arrested for investigation of driving with a revoked license, resisting arrest and hit-and-run, the State Patrol said.
“The State Patrol said [the man] has been arrested for investigation of drunken driving 15 times and has been convicted of DUI five times over the past 10 years. Because he has five prior convictions, Saturday’s arrest qualifies for a felony charge, State Patrol spokesman Jeff Merrill said.
“On Friday, a Seattle municipal court judge set a $10,000 arrest warrant for [the man] for failing to appear in court the day before. [He] is pending trial in Seattle on charges of drunken driving, resisting arrest and driving with a revoked license … in September 2006.”
Quoted under fair use; for complete story and/or copyright info see http://seattletimes.nwsource.c.....ui01m.html
Roger Rabbit Commentary: WTF? It takes 15 DUI arrests and 5 convictions for a person to qualify for FELONY dui prosecution in this state? This guy should have been sent up the river after the second one, and his arrest record should qualify him for either no bail or $1 million bail PLUS life imprisonment. He is a killer waiting for an opportunity to take innocent life. There is no way this criminal should be allowed to roam free in society. Washington is WAY too lenient with scofflaw drivers. Driving without a license should be a lockup offense, and a fifth DUI conviction should put a person in front of a firing squad, like they do in Thailand for first-time drug offenses.
The D. B. Cooper hijacking case is back in the news today, with the FBI requesting the public’s assistance (and, especially, the assistance of any “clever hydrologist” who might be able to trace the recovered hijack money back to the stream it floated down) and announcing previously undisclosed evidence. Here’s what we now know:
The FBI has a partial DNA profile taken from Cooper’s necktie (which was left behind on the plane).
DNA testing has eliminated the “popular” suspects (e.g., Duane Weber, who claimed on this deathbed to be Cooper, and Richard McCoy, who committed a copycat hijacking a short time later).
The FBI considers Cooper an unprepared and untrained amateur, not an expert skydiver, who almost certainly did not survive the jump.
For one thing, he jumped over mountainous terrain, obscured by cloud cover, on a cold and windy night, in street clothes. For another, neither of the two reserve parachutes supplied to Cooper were functional — one was a dummy used for training purposes (inadvertently given to Cooper), the other’s cords were cut to wrap up the money bundle. So, if Cooper’s main chute didn’t open, he had no reserve. Finally, he jumped into a 200-mph slipstream (which tear a parachute to shreds).
@4 Newsweek has run profiles of all the top candidates of both parties.
Wow, sounds like the news headline are running on tire treads, seriously BALD.