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Meriwether Goldy is back

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I know there are history buffs who question if Meriwether Lewis actually died by his own hand as the record contends, but after visiting some of the landmarks along the final stage of his epic journey of discovery, I’m not one of them. From Dismal Nitch to Point Distress to Cape Disappointment, I was constantly struck by the depressing names Captain Lewis assigned to places of such natural splendor.

This was clearly not a happy fella. I kept imagining the expedition struggling down the mighty Columbia, rounding a jagged outcropping they believed to be the final obstacle before the Pacific, only to discover that they were still miles away from their goal. Named on the spur of the moment, that place of utter beauty would forever be known as Point Sonofabitch.

Anyway, I’m back from my own epic journey of discovery and I want to extend a big thanks to Darryl of Hominid Views for keeping HA going in my absence. It’s nice to know that if I ever commit suicide by, say… shooting myself first in the head and then in the chest, before cutting up my body with razor blades, HA — like Lewis’ diaries — might survive me.

Comments

  1. 1

    Gee, first for me? I’ll probably miss it.

    Jobs were lower than expected for the nth stright month today (ham many months, people?), and uemployment is hading back up. Feel that Bush boom, right in time for the ’06 ‘lections!

  2. 2

    I have long speculated how thoroughly disgruntled L&C’s band must have been to arrive at the Ocean only to find the Spaniards had passed through several years before. Can you imagine their dismay on being treated by the local tribespeople to a traditional native dinner of Paella washed down with Sangria as the youngsters run around the camp sporting knock-off Real Madrid soccer uniforms.

    I hope you seized the opportunity to visit Mary Lou’s Tavern on the strip. When the Lordship and I take in the waters at Long Beach each year, we make a habit of paying our respects at this institution. The locals always put on a good show, with several impromptu barfights staged each night for our entertainment.

  3. 3

    Hmmmmm, Ned Lamont who excoriated Wal-Mart ‘for mistreating’ its workers, OWNS $31,000 IN WAL-MART STOCK and collects a nice annual dividend on it. His kids also have funds with Wal-Mart stock.

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

  5. 5

    Goldy,

    “if I ever commit suicide by, say… shooting myself first in the head and then in the chest, before cutting up my body with razor blades,”

    I think you need a good long drink and another vacation!

  7. 7

    Welcome back to the Freeper Spa and Wingnut Relaxation Lounge!.
    It’s good to take a break.
    Now Back To Work! We’ve got a country to save.

  8. 8

    ““if I ever commit suicide by, say… shooting myself first in the head and then in the chest, before cutting up my body with razor blades,”

    It’s funny the rulings that officials (or historians) can make, when there are other motivations which are not immediatly apparant from the official record.

    Texas coroners used to hold elected office, I don’t know if they still do. But I remember hearing about a guy that was shot twice in the back with a shotgun, and the coroner ruled it a suicide.

    Then there was the Fish & Game officer in Tennessee who had to spend nights out in the woods stalking poachers. He was found dead in his station wagon, the engine key “on” but the car out of gas. The officer was dead of carbon-monoxide poisoning, and naked, as was the girlfriend who was with him. The Worken’s Compensation board ruled that he had died “in the course of his employement”, allowing the widow to collect a pension. I guess they felt badly enough for the widow, under the circumstances, and didn’t want to make her life more miserable by denying benefits.

  10. 10

    Killatroll AKA Tree Farming Fruity: How goes it? You the latest leftwingnut to relax in the NorthWest Division of Lunatic Moonbat’s lounge?

  12. 12

    Puddybud Michael(you are not worthy of the name Kennedy) @ 10

    Ah yes, the NorthWest Division of Lunatic Moonbat’s lounge. A strange and foreign place with even stranger customs:

    A minimum wage tied to inflation.
    http://www.dol.gov/esa/minwage.....Washington

    A place where the 14th Amendment is not just words but policy.
    http://jurist.law.pitt.edu/pap.....-takes.php

    A place where a warrant to search means a warrant to search
    http://www.aclu-wa.org/detail.cfm?id=140

  13. 13

    How typical of liberals. They try to apply today’s cultural view to history.

    I bet if Goldstein had to do the L&C route on foot, carrying canoes and supplies, battling the weather as they did, his outlook wouldn’t be so rosy either.

    Instead, he chooses the ignorant position of judging history through modern ideas rather than actualy trying to see it through the eyes of those that acutally experienced it.

  14. 14

    Thus spake pbj the historian:
    “How typical of liberals. They try to apply today’s cultural view to history.”

    I’m really struggling to understand what you mean. Care to elucidate?

  17. 17

    How to catch a Conservative in the act of lying:
    Note the date/time stamps.
    http://www.horsesass.org/index.php?p=1332
    108, Libertarian, I never attended flight school. Hence, I never “washed out”. All a figment of GBS’s vivid “imagination”. All my training was done in Newport, RI and Coronado, Ca, as well as the old Philadelphia Ship Yard. Then, three WESTPACs of 6 monthe each , one ten month IO cruise, and a tour in Coronado at the NAB. Four years at sea, and two ashore.
    Comment by Myron [JCH] Silverstein, ESQ— 2/24/06 @ 3:04 pm
    @ 123
    JCH: Are you saying GWB served in combat then? Just askin’
    Comment by windie — 1/24/06 @ 3:59 pm [No, but, Windie, have YOU ever “buckled up” in a Mach 2 F-106? Not for pussies. I washed out of Naval Air [bad GI] and served Surface Line [1110]. Flying [and training] in military jets are not for the Bill Clintons of the world.]
    Comment by JCH — 1/24/06 @ 4:37 pm
    @ 125
    FLY NAVY
    DA WO
    Comment by YO — 1/24/06 @ 3:59 pm [YO, I’m sure you are correct and I was mistaken. Thanks for the help. Anyone who flies has my respect. I was not up to the stress. Not many are. JCH, LT, USN [1110, 76-84]]
    Comment by JCH —

  18. 18

    How to catch a Conservative in the act of lying:
    Note the date/time stamps.
    http://www.horsesass.org/index.php?p=1332
    108, Libertarian, I never attended flight school. Hence, I never “washed out”. All a figment of GBS’s vivid “imagination”. All my training was done in Newport, RI and Coronado, Ca, as well as the old Philadelphia Ship Yard. Then, three WESTPACs of 6 monthe each , one ten month IO cruise, and a tour in Coronado at the NAB. Four years at sea, and two ashore.
    Comment by Myron [JCH] Silverstein, ESQ— 2/24/06 @ 3:04 pm
    @ 123
    JCH: Are you saying GWB served in combat then? Just askin’
    Comment by windie — 1/24/06 @ 3:59 pm [No, but, Windie, have YOU ever “buckled up” in a Mach 2 F-106? Not for pussies. I washed out of Naval Air [bad GI] and served Surface Line [1110]. Flying [and training] in military jets are not for the Bill Clintons of the world.]
    Comment by JCH — 1/24/06 @ 4:37 pm
    @ 125
    FLY NAVY
    DA WO
    Comment by YO — 1/24/06 @ 3:59 pm [YO, I’m sure you are correct and I was mistaken. Thanks for the help. Anyone who flies has my respect. I was not up to the stress. Not many are. JCH, LT, USN [1110, 76-84]]
    Comment by JCH —

  19. 19

    PBJ……….oh ,come on! GOLDY….OUR GOLDY….CARRYING ANYTHING? manual labor??? that would be much too close to actually W-O-R-K-I-N-G………..you know, work…the only four letter word goldy doesn’t use on a regular basis.LOL.
    you kidder…you!

  20. 20

    @14
    “Thus spake pbj the historian:
    “How typical of liberals. They try to apply today’s cultural view to history.”

    Lewis and Clark had to make the entire trek on foot, horseback or canoe under conditions that most of us alive today could not have withstood. They didn’t have air conditioning, quicky stops or burger barns. Everything had to be packed on horses or on foot. Today we can throw gear in a car and drive the route in air conditioned comfort and glance wistfully out the window and romanticize about the landscape.

    Given Goldstein’s propensity for foul language in an nice modern air conditioned environment, I dare say had he been in Lewis’s place, the names would be even more dismal and profane.

    Here is what they had to take along on their journey:

    Mathematical Instruments:

    * surveyor’s compass
    * hand compass
    * quadrants
    * telescope
    * thermometers
    * 2 sextants
    * set of plotting instruments
    * chronometer (needed to calculate longitude)

    Camp Supplies:

    * 150 yards of cloth to be oiled and sewn into tents and sheets
    * pliers
    * chisels
    * 30 steels for striking to make fire
    * handsaws
    * hatchets
    * whetstones
    * iron corn mill
    * two dozen tablespoons
    * mosquito curtains
    * 10 1/2 pounds of fishing hooks and fishing lines
    * 12 pounds of soap
    * 193 pounds of “portable soup” (a thick paste concocted by boiling down beef, eggs and vegetables)
    * three bushels of salt
    * writing paper, ink and crayons

    Presents for Indians:

    * 12 dozen pocket mirrors
    * 4,600 sewing needles
    * 144 small scissors
    * 10 pounds of sewing thread
    * silk ribbons
    * ivory combs
    * handkerchiefs
    * yards of bright-colored cloth
    * 130 rolls of tobacco
    * tomahawks that doubled as pipes
    * 288 knives
    * 8 brass kettles
    * vermilion face paint
    * 33 pounds of tiny beads of assorted colors

    Clothing:

    * 45 flannel shirts
    * coats
    * frocks
    * shoes
    * woolen pants
    * blankets
    * knapsacks
    * stockings

    Arms and Ammunition:

    * 15 prototype Model 1803 muzzle-loading .54 caliber rifles
    * knives
    * 500 rifle flints
    * 420 pounds of sheet lead for bullets
    * 176 pounds of gunpowder packed in 52 lead canisters
    * 1 long-barreled rifle that fired its bullet with compressed air, rather than by flint, spark and powder

    Medicine and Medical Supplies:

    * 50 dozen Dr. Rush’s patented “Rush’s pills”
    * lancets
    * forceps
    * syringes
    * tourniquets
    * 1,300 doses of physic
    * 1,100 hundred doses of emetic
    * 3,500 doses of diaphoretic (sweat inducer)
    * other drugs for blistering, salivation and increased kidney output

    Traveling Library:

    * Barton’s Elements of Botany
    * Antoine Simon Le Page du Pratz’s History of Louisiana
    * Richard Kirwan’s Elements of Mineralogy
    * A Practical Introduction to Spherics and Nautical Astronomy
    * The Nautical Almanac and Astronomical Ephemeris
    * a four-volume dictionary
    * a two-volume edition of Linnaeus (the founder of the Latin classification of plants)
    * tables for finding longitude and latitude
    * map of the Great Bend of the Missouri River

    So, if after having to carry all that crap 2,000 miles one way in a trip that lasted over a year, it is probably understandable how one might be a foul mood. Anyone who has ever driven a carload of children more than 50 miles knows this instinctively.

    If it was Meriwether Goldstein making the trek, I dare say we’d probably have names like “Cape Where the Fuck are we” and such.

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