From the Minneapolis Star-Tribune:
Dear Pat Robertson,
I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it — I’m just saying: Not how I roll. You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.
Best, Satan
It’s always good to set the record straight.
Shit. Not only is Robertson ruining Haiti’s tourism business, he’s also wrecking Satan’s soul kidnapping business. The guy’s out of control.
Brilliant!
When even Satan must pray to God that he not be blamed for the lunacy of those who claim to speak for God, well, the lunacy of the Christian Right (the American Taliban) needs to examine itself. It ain’t Christian, it ain’t American, it ain’t right.
Amen
The irony of being an atheist is that people like Pat Robertson are the ones who make me wish there actually was a hell.
@5 Even if you don’t believe there is a God, you can still pray for God to send Robertson to Hell, just to cover the bases in case there is.
Lee,
I’m a Christian who doesn’t believe in hell (yeah, yeah, I’m one of those all forgiving kinds of Christians, kind of like what Jesus Christ told us we were supposed to be). But, I too wouldn’t deeply care if there was a hell for people like Pat Robertson, Michele Bachman, and all those other faux-Christians who make life worse for those on this planet.
yes, but how are 700 club donations doing since the huckster said this? i bet they are up. that’s why he said it. it’s always about the money.
This has got to rate as an all-time great editorial. Though completely different, of course, right up there with Yes, Virginia.
The Right Testicle of Hell:
History of a Haitian Holocaust
http://www.gregpalast.com/the-.....holocaust/
Someone’s put a Pat Robertson voodoo doll up on eBay, with proceeds from the sale going to the Red Cross for Haitian relief. With nine and a half days to go, the current bid is five hundred dollars.
And from Al Gore’s Church of Gaia comes:
Danny Glover – Mother Earth caused this because we didn’t all drink the kool-aid in Copehagen.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....25160.html
The right has no monopoly on morons. (Well, this blog proved that LONG ago, but I digress.)
Speaking of “Yankees”..Coakley in Mass. called World Series HERO Curt Schilling “a Yankee fan”.
She must want to lose.
dilbert @12
Al Gore has nothing to do with Danny Glover.
Earthquakes happen because we live on an unstable planet. Period.
14: Unstable planet…yep…and it’s all caused by man. If those idiots would not drive those large SUVs around, constantly shifting the weight from one location to the next, the earth would be much more stable. That’s why Al and co only drive in large motorcades…that way, the weight gets distributed more.
:-)
@14
Did Al get tired of Danny’s lips on his ass?
Given the apparent affinity of Mr. Robertson for the devil, maybe there is a devil?