This hilarious study somehow reminded me of an old feminist joke my wife likes to tell:
A man is feeling ill and goes to his doctor. The doctor asks to see his wife. “Your husband is very, very sick,” the doctor tells her, “and he’s going to die, unless he has a clean house, hot dinners and sex every night.” The wife goes back to her husband and he asks her what the doctor said. “He says you’re very, very sick,” she tells him, “and you’re going to die.”
Paul, Paul, you disappoint me. At least you could have tried to link this article, harem, mating etc…to the slew of Republican candidates. You know…Romney…(does he have a Harem ? ), Thompson, McCain, Guiliani (younger partners, second wife, etc..)…heck even Hillary…and her plans on life after Bill etc…
Are you maybe talking about your life ? I mean…blogging here isn’t really a major career move :-)
That reminds me of a joke I used to tell when I was married:
A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, “Hey, this is a coincidence. We both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?” The other guy says, “Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive brsts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, ‘I’d like two tickets to Pittsburgh’, I accidentally said ‘I’d like two pickets to Tittsburgh’., so she socked me a good one.”
The first guy replied, “Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, ‘Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey’. But I accidentally said, “You’ve ruined my life, you evil, self-centered, fat-assed bitch.”
I’m guessing @2 is a staple in the clinton household too.
Send a note to the Whitehouse in a couple of years and ask.
MTR
I must say, that joke, stated slightly differently, is one of my all-time favorites. Nonetheless, fuck off.
3
I wonder if he put ice on it. roof roof hehehehe
Dog @ 6
Funny you should appear just after MTR posts a joke. Reminds me of one of my favorite jokes.
Q: Why do dogs lick their balls?
A: Because they can.
I suspect, my canine friend, that you have not even figured out that you can please yourself in that way, given that you are so otherwise incognizant of the world around you.
@2 That’s no joke, that’s your biography. Pay your gambling debt, welsher. JCH is a nazi.
@7 Euthanize all dogs! Starting with the Balogh mutt.
Joke. Here is one.
Proscutor: Bill you were heard saying to Mrs Lewinski to lie in the deposition, is that true.
Clinton: No I never told Monica to lie in the deposition, I told her to lie in that position.
Hehehe
@7 That dog has no balls.
I betcha ya KC would have registered me if I would have signed with my left paw. roof roof
There was a guy who just got out of a really bad divorce with his wife. One day, he found a genie’s lamp.
The genie came out and said, “Hello master. I will grant you three wishes but, what ever you wish for your wife gets double.”
The guy didn’t like that part but he made a wish anyway. For his first wish, he said,
“Genie, I want a house in Hawaii.” POOF!!! He got one house, his wife got two. This didn’t make him happy but, he made his second wish.
“Genie,I want 2 billion dollars.” POOF! He got two billion, his wife four billion. By now, this guy isn’t very happy. The genie says, “You have one wish left. I have to remind you, what ever you wish for your wife gets double.” The guy says, “Yeah, yeah. I know.” So the guy thinks real hard and says ”
I got it! Genie, beat me half to death!!”
One day a woman came up to her husband and told him that the TV was broken and she was missing her shows.
“Does it say cable repairman anywhere on my forehead?” he asked.
“No,” she said.
A few minutes later she came back and told him that the porch was breaking and it was dangerous.
“Does it say carpenter anywhere on my forehead?” he asked.
“No,” she said again.
A few minutes later she came back and told him the toilet was backed up.
“Does it say plumber anywhere on my forehead?” he asked.
“No,” she replied.
A couple of days later he went on a business trip.
When he came back he asked how things had been.
“Well,” she said, “our neighboor down the street came over and fixed our TV, repaired our porch and unclogged our pipes.”
“What did he ask for in payment?” he wondered.
“All he asked for was a chocolate cake or a kiss,” she told him.
“What did you do?” he asked.
She looked at him smugly and said: “Do you see Betty Crocker written anywhere on my forehead?”
Last one. I imagine that this is the Larry Craig story.
A man and his wife were going on a cruise for their honeymoon. They packed their bags and got ready to go but forgot two things – condoms and dramamine, since the man gets terrible motion sickness on ships.
So the man and his wife stop at the store on the way to the cruise, and the man goes in to get the necessary supplies. He walked up to the counter with a plenty-pack of condoms and asked for the largest bottle of Dramamine available.
The pharmacist looked at him for a second and then asked, “If it makes you so sick, why do you do it?”
Thank you. Thank you very much. Shows nightly at 9 and 11PM. Be sure to tip your cocktail servers and bartenders.
2:
Used to be married is the key here. No woman in her right mind would have, or will, spend her life with this useless fuck. He is as necessary as a penis wrinkle.
Teresa would like to submit one for the women to giggle at I suppose. (Of course it is a lawyer joke).
A little old man was escorted into the witness box. After being sworn in, the lawyer asked him to explain what happened. After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the incident, he finally got around to the meat of the case.
“…and then she hit me with a maple leaf.”
“Surely that couldn’t have caused you any serious injury?” said the lawyer.
“Are you kidding?” exclaimed the old man. “It was the leaf from the center of our dining room table.”
Mrs Left Foot commentary:
Moral for lawyers: Never ask a question that you don’t already know the answer to. Day one, lesson one.
I just can’t help myself. Sorry.
A husband and wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed.
The man says to his wife, “Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill.” She ignored the remark.
A little later, the husband takes his measuring tape and measures the grill, then he goes over to his wife while she is bending over, measures her rear end and gasps, “Geez, your butt really IS as wide as the grill!” She ignores this remark as well.
Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. The wife calmly responds, “If you think I’m gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken.”
@18…MLF…
Your name’s not Carl, it’s Henny…Henny Youngman! Where’s your violin?
The Piper