According to today’s Seattle Times, the FBI finally has a plan to combat WA’s epidemic of bank robberies:
Special Agent Larry Carr plans to work with Washington state lawmakers on legislation that would forbid banks from doing business with customers who wear hats and sunglasses while inside the bank.
Carr, who heads the FBI’s bank-robbery division in Seattle, said that most bank robbers cover their heads “with a hat, sunglasses or a hoodie [hooded sweat shirt]” to avoid being identified by surveillance photos. With most bank security cameras positioned in front of and above customers, the disguises are often successful because the cameras capture the bill of a cap or brim of a hat, he said.
Yeah, sure… or, they could just, you know… move the cameras. I mean, cameras can be incredibly tiny these days. You could unobtrusively install one at every teller window — from an angle looking up at the customer — and a would be robber would never know it’s there. And I’m not exactly sure how this new dress code would effectively avoid scenarios like this:
| Teller: | Excuse me sir, but bank policy and state law require that you remove your sunglasses and hoodie. |
| Bank Robber: | Put all your fucking money in this bag, or I’ll blow your head off, bitch! |
Personally, I wear sunglasses all the time, summer and winter, rain or shine, and as I get older (and balder) I’m more frequently wearing hats to protect my naked scalp from sun and cold. It’s only polite to remove one’s sunglasses when engaged in conversation, and I try to remember to de-accessorize indoors, but I sometimes forget they’re even on. I doubt my personal eyewear habits would eventually lead me to a brush with the law, but one can easily imagine such uncomfortable situations, like when a devout Muslim woman refuses to remove her head scarf.
Hmm. I wonder if the vehemently anti-gun control folks have any problems with law abiding citizens like me being told we can’t wear hats and tinted glasses in banks? I know my sunglasses aren’t specifically mentioned in the Bill of Rights, but it strikes me that eroding our civil liberties, even minor ones, should be law enforcement’s last resort.
Dude, what if I’m wearing my prescription sunglasses, do I need to carry a note optometrist so I can keep them on?
“do I need to carry a note [from my] optometrist so I can keep them on?”
Dude, if you walk into a bank wearing sunglasses, the last thing you want to do is hand the teller a note.
Why don’t they tell the banks to just move the cameras?
@2
LOL…
You’ve got a point there.
My husband was at the bank once, right behind a guy who was wearing two hats: the one on top was the jaunty, Chichi Rodriguez type. Mr. Two-hats robbed the bank. My husband and all of the other witnesses were able to describe the top hat in great detail but of course not the bottom one, which was the one the robber was surely wearing by the time he ran out of the bank. So the sign will have to say “Take off ALL your hats.”
I don’t think this is a legislative issue. There doesn’t need to be a special law here…
This should fall on the banks to determine whom they will or will not due business with.
You know the “no shirt, no shoes, no service” approach.
The banks will have to make the cost/value determination in moving cameras.
(* rolls eyes *)
If you see a headline on Fark in the next hour reading:
“Having solved all other law-enforcement issues, FBI pushes for legislation forcing bank robbers to remove their hats”
it’s me.
Shear genius.
The solution to bank robberies.
What a maroon.
LOL. I love the dialog in the post. Have you ever considered writing for theater? :-)
They should actually make the cameras more obvious, the way they do at convenience stores, with big monitors behind the tellers, so that people know they’re being taped. It would change the character of the bank for customers, but it would probably be no worse than what would happen if they create this kind of rule, with less inconvenience.
I’m sure there are laws against having guns in banks. That doesn’t really stop the robberies either. Can our legislature get any more useless?
Lee @9
You can take a gun into a bank. No law against it.
Bank robbers usually use notes anyway and do not bother with a firearm. It is not needed.
Lee @ 9
…We all have our biases about who’s useless, but in this case it’s the FBI, not our legislature who want to enact this.
@10
You can take a gun into a bank. No law against it.
I have to admit that I’m surprised by that.
Bank robbers usually use notes anyway and do not bother with a firearm. It is not needed.
Convincing someone you have a firearm is needed, if not the firearm itself.
@11
…We all have our biases about who’s useless, but in this case it’s the FBI, not our legislature who want to enact this.
If our legislature lets them, then they’re useless to us too. :)
Lee, Come on, this has less chance of passing in the Legislature than “Dogs in Bars” did :)
Man, I know how all you sunglass and hat wearing folks feel. I ride a motorcycle with a black helmet and tinted visor. And I always have a jacket and gloves on too. It makes those tellers get all hinky when I walk throught he doors. Their eyes get all big and they start putting hands under their desks….
But if the state’s going to tell me I have to wear a helmet while riding…they’re not going to also tell me where I can’t wear it a bank. I might fall down and bonk my melon or something. And if I have to take off my prescription sunglasses….I might accidentally grope a hotty teller and be in all sort of trouble.
@12, Lee
There is no convincing required. Tellers are trained to give up the money.
I guess I should be honest here and mention that with automatic deposit, debit cards and internet banking I haven’t been inside a bank in um… I’m thinking 8 or 9 years.
Larry Carr is wants our hats and Tom Carr wants the bouncers, meanwhile certain streets of Seattle are a war zone at night. We’re gettin somewhere now!
@15
Well, yeah. They’re trained to always assume there’s a weapon. Which obviously makes it quite simple for the robber.
@18
Yep.
Just responding to “Convincing someone you have a firearm is needed, if not the firearm itself.”
Michael @ 1, that’s the first thing that came to my mind, too. I wear those photogrey lenses that change in bright light. And a hat that doesn’t.
@20
If I don’t wear a hat, the tellers will NEED sunglasses, how does that figure in?