Conservatives aren’t funny.
I know, that’s a bit of a generalization… but I’m comfortable with it. I mean really… apart from P.J. O’Rourke, name me one fall-down-funny conservative or neo-con?
Oh they’re awfully good at name-calling — clever or otherwise — but funny? Sarcasm without irony comes across as just plain angry.
Take for example the right’s latest attempt to poke fun at WA Democrats, Gregoire the Grinch, a lazy piece of neo-satire that proves once again that alliteration is no substitute for wit. What offends me most are not the lame, partisan insults, but the absolute failure to mine the rich vein of material Dr. Seuss provides to any self-respecting parodist. They couldn’t even bother to write their mere dozen lines in the style of Dr. Seuss.
They just better hope that the very litigious Dr. Seuss Enterprises, LP doesn’t catch wind of their unauthorized use of a Grinch illustration, because they’ll sue for trademark violation in a two-size-too-small heartbeat. How do I know? Well, a few years back I wrote a (constitutionally protected) parody of the very same Seuss story, and my agent told me publishers backed away for fear of the inevitable, expensive lawsuit.
And so on this first day of Chanukah, as a lesson to the righties of the true meaning of “parody” — and with undying admiration for the late, great Dr. Seuss (if not the exploitive corporation that survives him) — I publicly present for the first time what is sure to become an enduring holiday classic: How the Kvetch Stole Chanukah.