Nahum 1:2
The Lord is a jealous God, filled with vengeance and rage.
Discuss.
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Well, that explains a lot, all right. Whenever God has a bad day at work, shit rains down from the heavens.
God created us. Naturally flows that God is a jealous God!
That explains this damn pimple.
It also explains his followers. Jealous, full of rage, and not knowing who or what to place the blame on so they violently lash out at everything they don’t understand.
Which means pretty much everything.
I bet the Lord God finds fart jokes hilarious, and hates broccoli. Because the Lord God has the temperament of a toddler.
God created broccoli to punish you sinners. We rabbits like broccoli, and we’ll eat it all day, so he didn’t create it to punish us.
God is a liberal progressive.
@1 What you talking about God only worked for six days and then took the seventh day off and then he retired. He ain’t worked for years and the Republicans are upset that he is getting social security.
@6 Actually you rabbits are good with sage and any French chef would suggest broccoli as the best side. Bon appetite.
@10 Too many rabbits anyway. More lettuce for me if you stupid humans eat a few of us. Have at it.
Nahum the Elkoshite is just a displaced Palestinian. In the future he would have written in support of the Great Prophet. If only they had had disco balls and the Bee Gees and maybe LOVE would have made its way into the passage. Then again as Tina Turner sings: “What does Love Got to do With It?” Course she maybe singing about a different kind of love.
Those followers of the New Testament it’s supposed to be about the love baby. This old Nahum is so old school and god ran out of vengeance and turned over a new leaf. Something like that according to some who refer to some dude as the Great Shepard.
IN other news it appears that God loves the Seahawks and the Devil loves San Francisco today. Then again it’s not about the love it’s about the spread. I doubt God cares about who wins a sports game, or whether some athlete does God or one does bad. Sport is a celebration of human achievement and God just cannot compete, and that is why is jealous, angry, and why he doesn’t have box seats at a game or the ability to get every one of todays games on his cell phone.