Malachi 2:2-3
If you do not listen, and if you do not resolve to honor my name,” says the LORD Almighty, “I will send a curse on you, and I will curse your blessings. Yes, I have already cursed them, because you have not resolved to honor me.“Because of you I will rebuke your descendants; I will smear on your faces the dung from your festival sacrifices, and you will be carried off with it.
Discuss.
“Love me or I’ll fuck you up and roll you and every one of your kids and grandkids in shit.”
Sounds Christian to me.
Actually, this sounds more like the words of a petulant child who has been denied a cookie right before dinner.
French Soldier: I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Sir Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
French Soldier: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
Oh great, now when I look at the Sistine Chapel ceiling I’ll imagine Adam thinking “Christ, I hope he washed those hands!”
In other words, if you don’t kiss My holy ass, I’ll shit all over your face. And your kids, too. Sounds like a lot of humans I know.
God would you just please go do what Zeus would do and fin a cute human woman and fuck. Annoys his wife, but it’s going to be a few thousand years before anyone can tell you to eat a snickers bar as your just not being you at the moment dude.
And well I fucked your wife, she was good.
Judaism, Christianity and Islam are all Middle Eastern imports as far as us descendants of Europeans are concerned.
We’d be better not following any of them.