Genesis 2:2
By the seventh day God had finished his work, and so he rested.
Discuss.
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Obviously, the question arises, how does an omnipotent being become fatigued?
And, by “finished his (sic) work” does that mean that ‘god’ is done meddling in the affairs of humans? The following chapters of the bible would suggest not, but how then to take ‘finished’?
Many Big (BIG) Leaf Maples = I will spend most of the day herding their leaves.
I am not complaining because it’s not really “work”.
The colors are incredibly beautiful and I often stop just to stare and savor the beauty around me and how fortunate I am to live in this beautiful place.
Me and the dog will definitely go for a long walk in the woods today.
Timely quotation, of course.
The right reverend James Ussher “calculated” that God began the Creation “documented” in Genesis on the evening prior to October 21, 4004 BC.
The Reverend Harold Camping “calculated” that Judgement Day would be May 5, 2011. Of course when that day came and went without rapturous resurrection, he ‘discovered’ a ‘mathematical’ error, and declared that Judgement Day started on May 5, 2011, but would be completed, with all the trimmings, on October 21, 2011.
Oops.
Heh, would be funny if not for the vast number of fools taken in by such grifting.
As I channel surfed last night, recovering from a cold, I happened across the Billy Graham channel, and I noted that they conveniently had a 1-800 number at the bottom for the purpose of “starting your relationship with Jesus Christ”
When Jesus answers the phone, do you think He’ll ask for money?
@2
And I bet you’ll see ‘god’
The Prophet Goldy has chosen an apt quote.
Today is the anniversary of when My Word was first revealed to Man .. a day Jews call “the Joy of the Word, שמחת תורה”
So why seven days?
The days, were defined by My prophets. Six ages have passed at My hand, before the seventh Day:
Day One: 30,000 years ago: a man whose name you can not know, gave you art, the ability to make art and to see art.
Day Two: 3000 years ago: Moses gave you history, art spoken as words but written as sound, a memory that persists as the Torah.
Day Three: 2500 years ago: three prophets arose, giving you the power to see Me and leaving that power to you as the written word.
Aristotle gave you logic.
Siddartha Guatama gave you practice.
Confucious gave you law.
Day Four: 2000 years ago Hillel gave you the practice of ahimsa in the form of being true to yourselves. That word was written too.
Day Five: 1400 years ago Mohamed gave you the plan for rule by men under a written law he called My own.
Day Six: 300 years ago: Newton showed how experiment could come closer to Me than the words of Moses or the insights of Siddartha. Newton too wrote what of Me he had found.
many followed Newton …. Spinoza, Lavoisier, Hume, Jefferson, Marx, Einstein … and their works became word as well.
and then then I rested and the rest is written as the words of Man.
I am what am.
Nowadays with the Internet, with all those costly polytheistic religions having been acquired and the employees let go, God would be expected to be logged on to two other universes, 16 timezones between them, doing maintenance and support, just waiting for the next layoff when the whole operation moves overseas.
Yellow Pup
Sorry that youd do not know this, but America is already overseas.
I am what am
The Montana friendo and his sidekick the zombie cretin have been scarce of late..
Were they raptured?
If the Republicans were in charge then God would have had to work all seven days and at a lower wage.
I rest all seven days, but look at the stock market on five days, then go back to sleep. Why work? God doesn’t work anymore. Neither do I.
Goldy,
These Bible studies are interesting blog threads. I think you should diversify a bit, however. How about running some quotations from other religous texts, like the Torah and the Koran? (I know part of the Christian Bible contains some Jewish scripture, but I’m sure there’s a lot of other writings by the ancient Hebrews that can be held up to ridicule and derision. Why not have some of them in the next “HA Bible Study” thread? Also, I’m sure the Koran is absolutely chock-full of goodies that will make us all howl with laughter.
You could go after other non-Abrahamic faiths, too. Why not criticize the stuff from Bhuddism or Hinduism? You could go after Wiccans and other Neo-Pagans, but there’s not much that they bothered to write down. Most of the written stuff we’d identify as “Neo-Pagan” would most likely have been written in the last 100 years or less. But there might be some great quotes to give us all a laugh and a chance to poke fun at Neo-Pagans.
There are lots of good opportunities out there to make all religion look stupid and get a good laugh at the same time. Give it a shot!
@4: Exactly. And I’m priviledged to experience “god”, 24/7, rain or shine.
I’d even go so far as to say “raptured”.
I’m surprised Republicans aren’t calling him lazy….he worked tirelessly for seven days, kind of like the founding fathers working tirelessly until slavery was no more. What happen on day 8, 9, 10, 11, etc….did he get fucking lazy? Seeing that the world is so crazy, you know – heterosexuals being such barbarian killers, he should have worked harder on creating something more perfect.
@11 You are sadly illiterate.
Very FEW religons cliams to have books of revelaed truth. Buddhism, for example, denies that there is any revelation.
Judaism, ONLY has the Torah … so while there are Jews who have written on many things, the only book that is attributed to the Deity is the Torah. I do not hyink you would find Maimonides, Halevy, Spinoza, or or Marx very funny.
Bottom line, oif you want to focus on making fun of the words of God you are stuck with The Mormonas, The Muslims, The Christians, and the Jews.
@11
@13
gman the drunk diddler needs his pills again….
PC @ 11:
If you want to have some fun, take a peek at the Book of Mormon. Wow! That’s some weird shit.
First thing I always say when they come knocking on my door, give me their shtick, and ask if I have any questions is: “do you guys honestly believe that crap?”
Course there’s no shortage of “weird shit” material in the Bible either.
What ever happened to Puddy? He never seems to come around here any more.
Why would God need a rest? But if he did, I hope he had a refreshing Mountain Dew to get him going again.
Seattle jew-boy @14,
Bottom line – you’re just another of the arrogant fucking cocksuckers who leave comments on this blog. You’re no smarter, better or more clever than anyone else. Get that through your fucking head!
Unlk Witz @ 18,
Yeah, the Mormons have some crazy shit in their stuff – no doubt about that! I forgot to mention that in my comment at 11 (which was a suggestion to Goldy and not addressed in any way to that arrogant fucking shithead, SJ, BTW!)