Genesis 1:24-28
And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Genesis 2:7-22
And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.[…] And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
Discuss.
Of note:
I reserved to myself the right to name plants, bacteria, and viruses.
That is why pants have names that are so much cooler than animals!
I am that I am.
“and every thing that creepeth upon the earth”
Mitch McConnell?
@ 2
McConnell doesn’t creep, he slithers. He leaves a trail of slime wherever he goes.
It’s inconceivable that Republicans were created in God’s image, or that She created them; they must be the work of the Devil.
Roger …
How do you tell “the Devil” from “God?”
I am that I am for better or for worse.
I think Roy Blunt creeps. Or maybe, he’s just a creep.
Hey God, what’s up with the heat?
@5 I can see you haven’t been spending much time on terra firma lately, Boss. It’s easy, just look at their voter registrations, and you’ll know right away who’s working for you and who went over to the Dark Side! Frankly, although You’re probably just going to blow through here on your way to somewhere else, would You PLEASE take a quick look around during the instant of tme that You’re here? Wars, genocides, joblessness, hopelessness, drug use, divorce rates, murder rates, pharmacy robberies — the signs of management neglect are all around us. What I’m saying is we could use a little more of Your hands-on management down here, Ya know??!
@7 It’s a warning.
@7 (continued) I suppose we should be grateful for our winter-like weather here in Seattle. Everybody else is cooking.
Grateful? To Me?
Nahhhh.
Mmmm! Ribs!
@11
We really could use some sunshine and heat around here. My pumpkin patch looks like its going to have two pumpkins in it this year. That’s not going to make a whole lot of pies.
And you might want to take a look at Roy Blunt. The man’s a theif and he loves to quote you. Shouldn’t he get turned into a pillar of salt or covered in boils or have gekos shooting out his anus or something?
@11 I agree You haven’t given us much to be grateful for lately, Boss, although I want you to know that I’m grateful for Republicans and the debt default they’re going to engineer so the stock market will crash, which will allow me to buy cheap stocks with my cash hoard. Hey, this place isn’t Paradise, but some days are better than others, Ya know?
I experienced the “miracle” (h/t Carlin) of coffee shooting out my nose…
@15 If you could learn to sing through your nose, you’d make a lot of money as a country-western singer. I have no idea how they manage to do that.
So… nobody’s gonna comment on the fact that there are two creation stories in Genesis, and that they contradict each other?
@Goldy: I suspect because it’s too obvious and been covered in detail here many times.
It’s clear from the many “contradictions” that a lot was going on around the people who wrote the bible. Cain and Abel took wives from “others”, for example.
In fact, there are so many contradictions throughout the bible that Sam Harris and Project Reason mapped them in this graphic you can download here.
@17 There are other contradictions to be found, and more than just the flood story. Some of these are on the same page, even one verse following another. There’s the ark’s animal count 2 of all animals, seven of clean and a pair of unclaen, the length of time of the flood, 150 days or forty, and the raven and the dove. Two flood stories interwoven on a single page. There’s the two names for God. None of the reputable scholars seem to believe that the first five books of the Bible were actually written by Moses. They have apparently identified four different groups of scribes writing over a period of several hundred years. They’ve identified Exodus 15:4 as the oldest verse to be found in the Bible. Besides, how could it be written by Moses? It ended up with Moses death and burial. heh- How’d he write about that?
@Goldy: I also highly recommend the Skeptic’s Annotated Bible.
The site also blows away the Quran and the Book of Mormon.
@18 So does this mean Islam is the “one true religion” after all?
Loaves And Fishes Dep’t
If you’re a Republican who thinks the Second Coming is nigh, it’s a contradition to invest in agribusiness, food processor, and grocery stocks. For example, visualize what will happen to bakery company margins if some long-haired hippie shows up and starts turning stones into bread!
The Economist, a U.K.-based conservative business-friendly new and opinion magazine, tells us Republicans want to cut spending on the food stamp program — they’re distressed because the depression they caused has increased starvation-prevention spending from $35B in 2008 to $65B last year.
http://www.economist.com/node/18958475
Food stamps were created to subsidize farmers, which is why the Department of Agriculture runs it, instead of HHS. But in a country as rich as ours, where some people make over a billion dollars a year simply by gaming the financial system, and which has an economic system that creates “winners and losers,” it’s immoral not to have a bailout for those who lose out in the employment sweepstakes or are rendered destitute by unregulated predatory lenders to at least keep them from starving to death.
But Republicans don’t have any problem with making those immoral “losers” starve — apparently that’s their punishment for not being as dishonest and cleverly rapacious as they themselves are.
Of course, nobody will starve in America if we cut food stamp spending; there will merely be an increase in grocery store holdups, and the price of Safeway stock will fall. So it’s not like the Republican fiscal plan is Armageddon or anything; it’s merely a blueprint for social unrest and a breakdown of law and order.
@17
Goldy, goldy, goldy…
You’re startled that we’re not aghast at the first contradiction in a compendium of contradictions?
How can any human with a conscience vote for a party that won’t spend a measly few dozen billions of dollars to keep people from starving to death in AMERICA of all places?
@21: See the links to equal opportunity debunking @20.
On the debt limit ceiling: Check out how many Democrates voted to raise the debt limit in 2006. Give up? None, zero, zippo, nada, including Barry Hussein Obama!!!!! All 48 Democratic senators voted NO in 2006. Check it out. Their voting records are for public viewing. I guess they think we all have short, very short memories, and with this education system that’s been in place for some 3-4 decades, they might be right!
Hanavii Goldy
The Torah is about truth .. but truth is and has been entangled since the singularity.
That said, there is no contradiction here .. as long as you understand entanglement.
Here is unentangled version.
Genesis
And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathing his own breath, the Atmen, into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
But, the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field.
And God blessed Adam and Eve, and said ” Be fruitful, and multiply,” and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Only I am that I am.
Agnostics and Atheists:
18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
21 But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God
KJV: John 3:18-21
@26 Well if The Lord God can do all that The Lord God can damn well turn up the heat! We’re going to make it to August without cracking 75.
God is so all knowing, he even thought of you Atheist’s when he spoke to David. Psalm 14 is just for you Atheists!
Footnotes:
Psalm 14:1 The Hebrew words rendered fool in Psalms denote one who is morally deficient.
Why can’t Mr. Klynical the Klown just come out and be Klynical again?
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