1 Kings 11:1-3
King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.
Discuss.
Good for Solomon!!
So the nasty, sexually-repressed, racist, violent “God” of the OT tells Sol to just marry his cousins and ignore the girls from the next town.
Well, I find it refreshing and hopeful that we still revere Solomon to this day for his wisdom.
700 wives and 300 concubines? Is that the “traditional marriage” that we keep hearing about having to be ‘defended’?
(It is impressive that Solomon could function on so little sleep…)
Solomon was a piker.
The father of the most of you was Ghengis Kahn, a man who might well be called the father of gods.
Then, of course, we have Krishna, perhaps the greatest of lovers.
And could it really be that I would have a son who was celibate? A son of God who never experienced love of woman or man?
I am that I am
Old King Sol was a merry old soul.
No freakin’ wonder.
Puddy doesn’t know if your son is celibate or not SeattleJew. If you are referring to Jesus; remember you are the created, Jesus is the creator.
Solomon was warned at the Temple dedication ceremony about following God with all his heart. He was led astray with all his wives.
I was not aware of Jesus’ creativity – what did he create, Pud?
Quite so, God.
I am always amazed by your followers – we humans, who have been imbued (by you?) with wondrous sexuality as a portal to the divine, expected to deny it because you find it shameful.
Weird weird weird Christians (particularly the celibate clergy).
Heaven and Earth Liberal Scientist. Google it! You’ll learn something.
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaa
“Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaa”
Oh, oh! It’s the psycho-laugh. We all know what that means. Somebody didn’t take their meds.
“his wives led him astray”
Yeah, I know what that is like. My dear Ms. Wingnut is always trying to lead me astray. I’ll have nothing of it.
@8
I don’t think taking googling instruction from you is a particularly wise strategy, Pud.
Given the posts you made on the last thread in which you obviously googled “Palin” and “North Korea” and then linked to without reading, I’m not sure your advice would get me anywhere.
@7,8…
The superduperstitious craphead christianist p’dumbski is at it again. Can’t wait for his “papa bear” MISTER Cynical-ASS-Klown to get here.
Why do I always have to follow Pud?
I feel like those guys with the shovels that follow the horses in a parade.
In any event, Modern religions are political, not spiritual. Anything resembling spirituality preset in today’s houses of worship is mere window-dressing to keep the rubes occupied while their pockets are picked. These rules were set down long ago by political councils to centralize the power in one group. (ie: Council of Nicaea in 325)
Solomon had the right idea and the means to do it. Keep your neighbors happy and get a little “somethin’-somethin'” on the side.
It’s good to be the King!
@8
Jesus created the heaven and earth? Where does your Bible say that?
I imagine most of the love was reserved for the concubines since marriage was/is a political act.
Toys vice tools (of statecraft).
The politics in Sol’s household must have been sheer hell — leaving aside the synchronized PMS of course.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McClintock_effect
I think in this one Goldy is telling us that Jews are nasty sluts that like to sleep around.
Solomon also loved the Suburbanites.
@13: It doesn’t. Pudpuller is a psychotic religious fanatic who’s particular brand of delusion is Adventist (descended from Millerites — see also Burned Over).
Basically, it’s some Xtrianists’ interpretation of “scripture”, referred to as the “Holy Trinity” (Father, Son and Holy Spirit).
Trinitarianism (or not) is one of those “angel’s on the head of a pin” things that people are willing to kill and die for. Many people have been tortured to death for refusing to conform to one version or another of this interpreted bizaare concept.
More here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Trinity
I suppose you knew all this, but I thought it would be appropriate to show how truly bizaare judeo-christianity is if you give it the merest scrutiny.
A quick glance at the time stamps on our resident Oreo’s posts over time indicates he has trouble sleeping.
Sleep troubles are a well known side effect of anti-psychotic drugs particularly if they are not taken as prescribed.
The verses that follow…
It’s very interesting to me that God got pissed about the worshiping of other gods – not the polygamy or adultery or holder of enslaved concubines. God seems to get jealous about potential or perceived rivals. Sins of the flesh – not so much.
So God (HA variety), what have you to say about this? This is you they’re talking about getting angry with Sol, right?
Whence the sexual prudery of Christianity? God doesn’t seem to have a problem with Solomon having his carnal sugar, as it were. Does this boil down to the essential authoritarianism and hypocrisy of Christianity – it’s OK to break the rules if your the boss/priest/preacher, but not the little guy? Christianity’s main attribute, it seems, is reinforcing an essentially feudal societal system, so this doesn’t seem at all surprising.
Geez, with that many wives, he either had to share them or fuck them until his dick fell off, or he was gonna have a bunch of horny women on his hands.
@8 Holy shit, putz, this is pretty fundamental. God created heaven and earth, and then he created Jesus, one after the other, like a horse before a cart. You’re stupid beyond belief.
What good is it having Jesus around before there’s an earth to save and a heaven to send the saved to?
Get the sequence straight, puddynuts, the sequence! It’s all about sequencing the moves.
LS
“So God (HA variety), what have you to say about this? This is you they’re talking about getting angry with Sol, right?”
Really? I am also blamed, the form of Hamatza, for cannibalism by the Nuchalnuth and in the form of Jesus for the mass holocaust carried out in My name.
You seem to forget that the Book of Kings has never been claimed by Me. Apparently, it was useful to the Romans when they legislated the Christian canon.
Blaming Me for stories about King Solomon makes no more sense then blaming me for the behavior of Torquemada, the Popes, GW Bush, or the angel Moroni.
If you want to blame Me, then blame Me for My deeds! Plague, cancer, Nazis, … I have created some pretty awful things. If you truly believe in Me, then you need to blame Me.
I am that I am.
Not to mention Christians. And Puddy – you created Puddy, right?
How can you disavow responsibility for these followers of yours running about claiming divine inspiration from you and special covenants with you and friendship with your son…you seem to be at the center of all this.
With regard to Solomon, I was trying to point out the the author of 1 Kings seems to be saying that you got pissed about Sol indulging his many wives (and sheesh, cut the guy some slack, with that many wives how could he not be forgiven for indulging them thusly – can you imagine the domestic hell if he didn’t?). But back to the topic – the author seems to be claiming that the thing that got Sol into trouble with you was the worshiping of others than you – which makes you seem pretty insecure, really.
I also found it interesting that you were not reported to be pissed about the polyamory going on in the House of Solomon.
To borrow a phrase from lazy contemporary journalism, “Some say God got jealous about the competition, but not about the sexual highjinks. Can you comment God?”
LS
“Create” is a big word, but yes, I am both the creator and the truth and the universe.
So, I created Puddy and this blog, just as I created HIV and chocolate. Please remember, you can choose to eat chocolate, expose yourself to HIV or even use reason I(another of My creations).
As for Solomon, why would you blame Me because Ytzak say that I did this or that because I was mad? Blame Ytzak, not Me .. other than for creating Ytzak.
Look at this way, some guy wins an election and thanks Me for it. Should his opponent blame me?
As for polygamy .. of any gender ration, not a problem for Me. After all, you folks do have free choice. Just remember, choices do have consequences.
I am that I am.
I am (just) that I am.
Liberal Scientist farts
No Puddy didn’t. Apparently you didn’t read what Puddy wrote. You only react to useless data from Media Morons!
@13, Ask ylb. Puddy placed it on HA recently. Apparently you have memory issues. Puddy doesn’t do your bidding. Hint… New Testament.
Really Roger Rabbit? You can’t prove that in the Bible. You bareley know the Bible. You need Google to assist you. It’s not what Genesis says its what is said later referring back to Genesis. Remember Moses wrote Genesis. Jesus told them …” ____ ____ ____ I AM.” It’s in the New Testament Roger…
The funny thing about this quote is that all of Jerusalem was probably about 1,000-2,000 people at the time. So it was impossible for Solomon to really have that many wives and concubines.
In ancient times, the number of wives and concubines was a way of measuring wealth and importance. This is clearly a case of exagerrating the “symbolic” importance of King Solomon.
@27,
Fakir… You didn’t create anything on this earth except what you procreated with Mrs SeattleJew. Show us at a DL on Tuesday how you can create 24 carat gold from a fish sandwich!
Sequencing moves Roger Rabbit… Start reading the Bible from Genesis and when you hit a certain spot contact Puddy again when you scream eureka Puddy is right!
“expose yourself to HIV or even use reason I(another of My creations)”
You’re not God. You’re an imposter. You made a typo! God is perfect and doesn’t make typos.
@33 You may think you’ve read the Bible, but your problem is you read without comprehending.
Anybody wanna know why Klown is going to Hell?
Thou shalt not lay down with goats.
Still waiting Roger but not for long…
Puddy knows you won’t answer! Just like how you ran away from the King County budget discussion.
@34
As I’ve pointed out before “God” (HA version) and SJ have remarkably similar (abysmal) keyboard skills.
Puddykins
Leaving aside your fantasies about me, I thought your religion teaches that only the devil demands of God that he/she prove itself?
Are you the devil?
As for turning fish sandwiches into Gold, that is really easy .. how often do YOU eat at MickeyD’s?
Of course, if you THOUGHT about your challenge, you might wonder if it were not better directed at turning a fish sandwich into a 24k Goldstein!
Now, the more interesting part, where Professor SJ gives Puddykins a lesson in creating children. I though you knew how that was done?
See, it goes like this … the Puddy Daddy has an organ called a testicle. In the testicle, Daddy has cells that have divided in a special way so these cells, called “sperm” each have only 1/2 of Daddy’s genes!
The Puddy Mommy has an organ called an ovary. In the ovary, Mommy has cells that have divided in a special way so these cells, called “eggs” each have only 1/2 of Mommy’s genes!
Well … the next steps are pretty simple, not any real creation … just a coming together of Puddy Daddy and Puddy Mommy to let the sperm and the eggs join together. When that happens, the sperm and the egg make a new cell. That cell has a fancy name .. the zygote.
Now there really is nothing all that unique about this cell, actually each of us has 100s of thousands of cells that thousands of cells just like the zygote … you, my fur faced fellow, can be cloned! Whiskers and all!
Anyhow, that zygote, if allowed to grow for some time produces enough cells that they begin talking t each other! Ans what do they say? They say .. lets make a Puddy! But they have a long way to go. How can you make a Puddy whye all you have is some dumb old cells?
These cells are called embryonic stem cells but no Puddy yet!
So first the stem cells divide a lot and make a kind of hollow ball, kinda sorta like a tennis ball. Then parts of the tennis ball fall into the inside .. kind of like food falling into your tummy or maybe, in a biblical sense, like Jonah in the tummy of the whale!!
But, the cells in the tenis ball’s tummy and the cells on the outside of the tennis ball start talking to each other, like ants in a hive!
Like ants in the hive, these cells in the hive look pretty much alike. BUT, unlike ants, the Puddy cells, after awhile, begin to make things that you need to make a Puddy.
But there is still is no Puddy. You know why? Cuz Puddy is a lot more than juts some cells!
To make a Puddy, you need lots of cells that do different things … decide which cells will be Puddy’s front, which will be his back. Which will be the right and which will be the left. Did you know Puddy even has a tail! If I touch it I may tickle you!!!
STILL no Puddy, just a lot of cells with addresses.
BUT cells in these addresses still talk to each other. They make more interesting things .. a backbone, bunches of cells that can become muscle and skeleton. Other groups start building a heart, lungs, gut and even blood!
One such group sends messages that will make nerves to control all these new cell communities.
Stll no Puddy!
Well sometime later the nerve cells begin to make new groups withing themselves, kind of like the cpu of the computer Puddy Daddy uses to print money on that machine in the secret room in the basement!
Still no Puddy!!
Well, after awhile, this cpu gets pretty smart, more groups of cells make what computer types call a “parallel processor.” This thing is pretty damn smart … it is becoming ..it is learning, soon ….
a Puddy!
Get some sleep bubbelah!
Roger and LS …
If God did not make typos, how is it that so much of the Torah is in error?
Christian hatred is such an acceptable and welcomed thing in the progressive world.
@41
By “Christian hatred” do you mean “hatred of Christians” or “hatred by Christians”? Can’t tell.
@42
“hatred of Christians”, as if you couldnt tell at this website.
“Hatred of christians?????”
Is this some form of projection?
Historically, it is Christians who have brought heir wrath down on others.
Who burned down Joseph Priestly’s house?
Who burned the witches?
The KKK was(is?) a white ________ group?
Hitler’s people were?
The injuns were exterminated by?
The crusades were who vs heretics, Jews, and Musilmen?
After Nicea, Rome rules much of the world under what deity?
The expulsions of Jews from England, Spain, and the exclusion from Jerusalem were examples of ???
The opium wars were an act f _________ charity?
Ivan the Terrible, George Custer, Andrew Jackson, Torquemada, Jeff Davis, George Wallace, were ????
So yeh, there some folks in the mountains of Western Pakistan and the mosques of London who seem to have learned their lessons from ????
How about you folks give us non Christians some slack? Maybe a little apology or respect for others? Might go a long way!!!!!
The Pope sez “I’m ok with Solomon’s alley-cattin’ as long as he uses a condom”!
@41
Criticism of Christianity and some of the less savory features that our society exhibits as a consequence of Christianity being widespread and more-or-less unquestioned, indeed.
One could say that we at this site engage in a similar critique of capitalism and the manifest ways that it has failed to meet our needs as a society, in an economic sense.
We also criticize police power and how our government has deployed our armed forces and surveillance powers, and the lavish amount of our treasure we’ve spent on these things – and to what end?
As you note, these criticisms do indeed derive from a progressive vantage point. However, from your wording I surmise that you find that this is a bad thing, and I would anticipate some sort of “Commie Atheist American-hater” retort, or something of that ilk. It is something we hear all the time from our resident young-earth creationist, dollar-lovin’, poor-person-hatin’ (but accepting of poverty), Bible-thumpin’ members of this community – we generally call them trolls.
On the contrary, such criticism is offered because we care about our society and our fellow humans. We want to try to find ways to be better, to do things differently, to find ways that do not exclude, that extinguish ignorance, that condemn hatred. Essential to this is to examine and call into questions assumptions – sometime long- and dearly-held assumptions, and this can be shocking and painful for some.
You engage in something that has long bothered me about American politics. Part of improving and growing is examining and understanding what works and does not. Democrats and leftists have long tended to do this – speaking for the workers and the poor and the immigrants and the ill – the people generally getting the shaft. (Notwithstanding the corporate shift that the Democratic Party have taken over the past 20 or so years) Pointing out flaws in our system, inconsistencies between the myths we tell about ourselves and the reality of poverty and hunger and poor schools and exploitation and absence of opportunity and the massive divide in this nation between the few that have and the very many that do not.
A common, common retort to such essential and constructive criticism is that we are “Un-American” for pointing out our flaws. We’ve been tarred for not clapping loudly enough, for not engaging in the bellicose, in the “we’re the greatest” self-hagiography. We heard this over and over last election night – I remember Rand Paul doing this most clearly – yalping to his crowd about the US being the greatest nation that ever existed on the face of the earth, or some such cringe-inducing nonsense. Or John Boehner going on quite incorrectly and cynically about “the greatest health care system in the world” in an attempt to make the world safe for Aetna and Merck.
So you have found that we openly criticize Christianity – yup we do, and religion more broadly, though the dominant religion here is Christianity – Muslims and Jews take it in the shorts, too – particularly when we’re discussing the political and social mess that is the Middle East, and the US role/responsibility there. Point is, be prepared to have your assumptions shaken, or head elsewhere.
Goldy–
Why is almost every single post on your Bible Study from the Old Testament?
Perhaps some of your real Jewish friends (do you have any??) would help you understand God’s Law.
When He created Adam & Eve and they ate the fruit, man’s sinful nature was evident. God created us in His image…but we were unable to keep His Law.
Enter Jesus Christ. Thru Him and Him alone can God see us. Without Christ, He sees the sin.
It’s not that complicated Goldy.
Anyway, do you have some Jewish friends who can help educate you??
Total BULLSHIT. Just like you, we are atheists for all the “gods” who have ever “lived”. We have just evolved past one more than you.
We are equal opportunity mockers. The “gods” hindus, sufis, jains, ba’alists — whatever — worship are just as false as the bearded sky being you xtrianists purport to “worship” and “obey”.
You and and your particular crock of shit just happen to be handy.
Goldy–
Do you allow your daughter to regularly attend the Catholic Church with your wife?
Are you concerned she is or will become confused trying to sort thru Catholicism, Jewish Faith and you Atheist beliefs??
If you don’t think your anti-Christian sentiments don’t seep out to her, you are wrong Goldy. Kids are mighty perceptive.
God gave her to you. Yet you openly fail to acknowledge God and worship with her.
How do you coordinate disciple with your ex-wife?
Lots of issues that the Bible addresses and can help you with Goldy…rather than relying on your emotion & intuition. Start with Hebrews 12:1-9–
Help your daughter Goldy…give her a firm foundation. No offense Goldy…but I think Gold and His Son Jesus are better models for living a righteous life than you, me etc…although kids do end up modeling what their parents do, think & say. She is a mirror Goldy…reflecting YOU and without faith…YOU alone.
@49…
God help us that anyone turns out like MISTER Cynical-ASS-Klown…a fucking religionist freak.
heh- Just what Goldy needs, a psycho-KLOWN telling him how to raise his daughter.
“…and his wives led him astray.”
Boy, I can relate to that! I’ve had that happen to me, and I’ve only had two wives! {Not at the same time, though!}
48. Zotz sez:
Who precisely is “we” Zotz?
Do you speak for everyone on the Left?
Where did you get the license for using “WE” in your posts?
Seems like you are taking quite a leap of non-faith if you know what I mean.
Not all the leftists are Atheists like you.
That seems to be selling you ‘God’ kinda short, don’t ya think?
Hey, those Hittites are HOTtites!
Whenever Jesus talks about sex, it’s in an effort to get his fellow Jews to pull the stick out of their asses and lighten the fuck up. They’re all set to stone the poor adulteress to death, and Jesus points out that they are all sexually active too and lets the woman go with a reprimand. Pretty large commutation! And he points out that everyone feels lust in their heart, everyone feels the impulse. So he reasons that since we are all sexual, we should not judge others for being sexual.
This doesn’t sound, to me, like the sort of words a celibate man would utter. It seems fairly plain that Jesus was pro-sex by the standards of his society and time. And then after he was dead, Paul of Tarsus just HAD to come along and plant the stick back into Christianity’s collective ass. Sigh.