1 Samuel 5:6
But the hand of the LORD was heavy upon those of Ashdod, and He destroyed them and smote them with hemorrhoids.
Discuss.
by Goldy — ,
1 Samuel 5:6
But the hand of the LORD was heavy upon those of Ashdod, and He destroyed them and smote them with hemorrhoids.
Discuss.
Zotz sez: Summertime, and the livin' is easy... spews:
Let’s see: God “destroyed” the Ashdodites AND gave them hemorrhoids — with his heavy HAND!
Anal Fisting — it’s in the bible!
Dan Robinson spews:
There goes the catamite sandwich!
Ekim spews:
Ashdod (Wikipedia)
In I Samuel 6:17 Ashdod is mentioned among the principal Philistine cities. After capturing the Ark of the covenant from the Israelites, the Philistines took it to Ashdod and placed it in the temple of Dagon. The next morning Dagon was found prostrate before the Ark; on being restored to his place, he was on the following morning again found prostrate and broken. The people of Ashdod were smitten with boils; a plague of mice was sent over the land (1 Samuel 6:5).
Ekim spews:
Well, that PHILISTINE BUTTBUDDY loves the Anal Fisting.
Does BUTTBOY also enjoy the hemorrhoids, boils and mice?
Ekim spews:
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SJ spews:
Today’s lesson is for those who would stand aside as innocents die and the game in names.
The word “Philistine” … is the word we use today as “Palestinian.”. The irony of history is that the Romans imposed the word on their conquered territory to deny the Hebrews the right. To the Kingdom of Judea.
The Philistines were, perhaps ironically, the coastal people of Canaan and were at war with the Hebrew tribes of the highlands …. today’s West Bank.
That war was long over by the time of the Roman conquest …. other than a few Bedouins, alien merchant s and the conquering foreigners … the people of Roman Palestine were “Jews.”
That name game returned when Nasser and Arafat recreated the extinct Philistines as today’s Palestinians. Just as the Zionist s recreated Israel, Nasser and Arafat reached even further back and recreated long gone Phillistia.
No rational person today would deny that the Palestinians have become a real (albeit newly created) people. That , like the Jews, need a homeland. That will only happen when they accept their common history with the Israelis.
As for God, no one seems to know what the divinity thinks. Look only to Syria,
Deathfrogg spews:
Considering this particular maltranslation, I would think that smiting them with hemorrhoids would be punishment enough. Why would “god” be so disorganized as to infect their asses with that after he’d destroyed them? It just doesn’t make any sense.
Seems to me that “god” is just as scatterbrained and disorganized as anyone else. He shoulda just done the hemorrhoid thing and left it at that. What a stupid vindictive fuckhead. He’s like that kid that got caught swiping a bike out of someone’s garage, and burning down the whole neighborhood in revenge. What an asshole.
God spews:
Dragon or Jesus, I am neither.
I am rather the voice that trembles with repulsion at evil.
Any who doubt the evil of Assad or the complicity of those who would do nothing should remember that man also stood by while Hitler killed millions.
Peace has never come from tolerance of evil.
God spews:
Deathfrog
Where in the Book of Samuel does it say I wrote this book?
Liberal Scientist is a Dirty Fucking Socialist Hippie spews:
@6
Echos of “a people-less land for a landless people” trope.
***
Who’s playing the ‘name game’ now? – you commit character assassination by blithely attaching “Nasser and Arafat” to an entire people.
You demonstrate quite clearly why there is no peace in Palestine. The ongoing apartheid and ethnic cleansing by Israel is a terrible crime.
This book and the people who cling to it and use it as a weapon – for it is a very potent and enduring instrument of exclusion, exploitation, manipulation, control – are one of humankind’s most enduring and costly errors.
Deathfrogg spews:
@ 9
I’ve never said you did. I’ve always assumed that the “bible” was a result of people making up stories around a campfire or something while deep in the throes of some sort of food poisoning like ergotism.
Couple that with mental illnesses like schizophrenia and the same sort of deep paranoia and willful disregard for basic observable information that certain individuals in here demonstrate on a daily basis, you get a whole volume of Derp and bullshit that can only come from serious mental health issues that extend over multiple generations.
Ekim spews:
…Derp and bullshit that can only come from serious mental health issues…
BUTTPUTTY in a nutshell.
Pete spews:
Yet more confirmation that the LORD is a pain in the ass.
Ekim spews:
Televangelist Kenneth Copeland’s megachurch gets hit with plague of measles
They must be modern day Philistines, I guess.
h/t RR
Porter Browning spews:
Very appropriate, seeing as how everyone in the Bible is an asshole.
SJ spews:
LS
Peace can never cone in a basis if denial of simple fact,
Since you quote Said, I wonder if you have rad what he wrote?
Here are the facts …
Jews have lived continuously as Jews in thus place for about 3000 years. Except for the time under Roman and Christian rule, the Jews were recognized as a people in this place.
In the 1800s, “Palestine-Syria” was a province under the Turkish empire. Peoples recognized in that era included Jews, Bedouin, other Arabs, Druise, Kurds – THERE WERE NO PEOPLE CALLED PALESTINIANS. From that time until Nasser, the term “Palestinian” referred only to the Jews of Palestine. ONLY the Jews claimed this as their homeland.
Of course, and THIS IS Said’s point, there were also NO Lebanese, NO Jordanians, NO Iraquis. Nationalism among Arabs (as opposed to the very unique case of Egypt) DID NOT EXIST IN THE 1800s.
What the Zionists brought was not theft of some non existent “Palestine.”. What they brought was the European concept of an ethnic state to a place in Syria/Palestine that no ethnic group OTHER THAN THE JEWS claimed as a national homeland.
Said’s point is that the Zionists brought nationalism to a place where a people without nationalism lived.
The Zionist ideal was and is for a Jewish state living with Arab neighbors. The Arab opposition to this idea was not a matter of protecting an existing people. The evidence for this is clear … NO EFFORT WAS MADE TO CREATE AN ARAB PALESTINE in 48. Rather, until Nasser, the effort was to wipe out any Palestinian entity … Jordan and Egypt successfully pursued that course.
Today, the huge majority of Zionists WANTS a Palestinian state. Sadly, Palestinian irredentists
oppose this.
The result is horrible suffering by their own people.
Try reading Said!
God spews:
DeathFrog
Why demean Samuel?
Would you do the same for Homer,Tacitus, de Tocqueville?
The fact that Christians took Samuel’s writings as My word can not be blamed on him.
Was it Springsteen’s fault when the New Mormans adopted their canon?
Deathfrogg spews:
Homer wrote fiction. Tacitus sat on his hands and whined about not getting laid enough, and de Toqueville was a shill for the French crown whose only real accomplishment was facilitating the French support for the American Revolution by appealing to Louis’ ego, and his desire to see the British Empire get slapped around a bit.
Oh, and Springsteen? He never really appealed to me that much. He’s a good songwriter, but his musicianship is sloppy and the hype surrounding him was mostly manufactured.
Deathfrogg spews:
@ 14
Kenneth was Grampa’s first cousin’s kid. That’s the side of the family that stayed behind and starved when Grampa and his Brother and Aunt went to California. Old Marjoe Gortner is another not-so-distant cousin.
The “Grapes of Wrath”? That could have been my great grandparents. The Kenneth Copeland Ministries came out of the old man’s desire to make money any way he could, while his neighbors all packed up their shit and loaded it up on their old trucks and headed west. Putting Kenneth through divinity school was pretty much free back then, and everyone would chip in to support that.
That side of the family made a lot of money fleecing the illiterate rubes who made a few bucks moving from town to town working the old oil fields that were everywhere in Oklahoma back in the 20’s and 30’s. The Copelands were “sooners”, meaning they ran in to the area and set up their claims during the land rush and were able to stake out several thousand acres before anyone else could get in. It was illegal of course, but nobody said much when the Copelands were already at the land office, staking their claim while everyone else was still riding their horses into the area after the gun went off.
Kenneth pretty much refined the whole “prosperity gospel” into what it is today. He’s an old school grifter and con artist. If it wasn’t for religion, he’d be selling old broken down horses or running mining or oil drilling scams like his daddy did.
Deathfrogg spews:
FTFA:
Eagle Mountain is led by pastor Terri Copeland Pearsons, the daughter of televangelist Kenneth Copeland. Church leaders wouldn’t grant interviews, but Pearsons released a statement after the outbreak saying she isn’t anti-vaccine. But Pearsons added that she still has some reservations about vaccines.
“The concerns we have had are primarily with very young children who have family history of autism and with bundling too many immunizations at one time,” she said.
Pearsons set up vaccination clinics on church property, but at the same time, when she preaches to her congregates, the message is put your faith in God.
“So I’m going to tell you what the facts are, and the facts are the facts, but then we know the truth. That always overcomes facts,” she has said.
Thats fucking brilliant that is.
Dan Robinson spews:
@6
Herodotus wrote about a district of Syria called Palaistine in his Histories in the 5th century BC, but “Nasser and Arafat recreated the extinct Philistines as today’s Palestinians.” Mind boggling.
No one reacts to ‘catamite’? Hmmm.
I first encountered the word in http://www.goodreads.com/book/.....st_Century and I had to look it up. That was an WTF moment.
But whenever I hear that song about “Vegamite sandwich” I want to sing it as “catamite sandwich” because of the alliteration.
Roger Rabbit spews:
@18 All hype is manufactured. We live in a society where virtually every human activity is a sell job, and most activities mean nothing at all. The only thing in this world that really matters is making more rabbits.