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HA Bible Study

by Goldy — Sunday, 7/22/12, 7:00 am

1 Kings 1:1-4
King David was now an old man, and he always felt cold, even under a lot of blankets. His officials said, “Your Majesty, we will look for a young woman to take care of you. She can lie down beside you and keep you warm.” They looked everywhere in Israel until they found a very beautiful young woman named Abishag, who lived in the town of Shunem. They brought her to David, and she took care of him.

Discuss.

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Comments

  1. 1

    Ryan spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 7:19 am

    He clearly had better health insurance than any of us.

  2. 2

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 8:24 am

    @1 He probably didn’t care whether the 99% had any blankets.

  3. 3

    Geoduck spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 9:15 am

    Someone had to keep piling those blankets on him.

  4. 4

    God spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 9:38 am

    Zzzzzzz

    Sorry, I was asleep next to my wife Ashera.

    Of course, as The Eternal I am infinitely older than her or any other immortal.

    Funny how mortals confuse Me with mere immortals!

    Oh yeh …

    HaNavii Doveed was posting something about HaMogen Doveed sleeping next to a warm, young woman. I hope this did not disturb those of you with phobias about heterosexuality. That Doveed, the King, was pretty much of a rake, on the other hand one of my greatest prophets, the Mahatma Gandhi, slept with two young girls .. not just for warmth but to prove his resolve.

    Or perhaps, HaNavee posted this tidbit because as a Seattleite he wanted to point out how much more reasonable it would have been for David the King to sleep with a young boy. Ooops, I forgot .. you Americans are now anguishing over exactly that activity by Michael Jackson and Woody Allen.

    Of course, as the All Knowing, I see so many ways of sleeping. Someone should ask HaNavee Dovied whether he sleeps with his dog.

  5. 5

    Richard Pope spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 10:20 am

    Goldy left out the last sentence of I Kings 1:4 (Contemporary English Version),

    “But David did not have sex with her.”

  6. 6

    God spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 10:27 am

    Richard,

    Sounds a bit like something Bill Clinton once said!

  7. 7

    Steve spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 1:18 pm

    “Discuss”

    Discuss? Are you utterly fucking incapable of posting a verse without it being something to inspire ridicule? Not for Rachel Beckwith. Not for the dead in Aurora. Evidently there is nothing for which you will pause and use this post as anything other than a way to demean the Bible, progressive Christians, and any progressive who is sick and tired of this shit. Like me, someone who used to give this blog money.

    Discuss that.

  8. 8

    Steve spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 1:22 pm

    Deleted by me.

  9. 9

    SJ spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 2:01 pm

    Why would this inspire ridicule?

    King David was … well a human. He was certainly not an exemplar to Jews of how to live any more than Americans extol Patton or Sherman.

    Funny thing is the way Americans deify sports stars!

  10. 10

    Baron Samedi spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 3:20 pm

    All aboard the HAte Train! woot woot!

  11. 11

    Politically Incorrect spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 3:22 pm

    “They brought her to David, and she took care of him.”

    Wow! How exactly did she take care of him, and where can I get some action like that?

    I’ve been watching a lot of the History Channel’s shows about the possibility of aliens mating with humans thousand of years ago, which eventually led to us. Wow, just think of it: we may be modern humans due to some aliens making a booty call on planet Earth!!!

  12. 12

    Politically Incorrect spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 3:24 pm

    “Funny thing is the way Americans deify sports stars!”

    Absolutely correct! Sports figures are no more worthy of adoration than any other living thing on the planet. Worshiping oak trees like the Druids makes more sense.

  13. 13

    Baron Samedi spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 3:43 pm

    5. Richard Pope spews:
    Goldy left out the last sentence of I Kings 1:4 (Contemporary English Version),

    “But David did not have sex with her.”

    07/22/2012 AT 10:20 AM

    Huh? you mean a “journalist”(insert laughter here) from the Stranger would deliberately leave out important information to as to convey the wrong message?

    “journalists”(insert laughter here) from the Stranger sure seem to make that a habit.

  14. 14

    Baron Samedi spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 3:46 pm

    and goldy cant figure out why he isnt taken seriously as a journalist….

    hey goldy, so it with me now: K A R M A….

  15. 15

    Dan Brown spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 5:20 pm

    “God spews:

    Richard,

    Sounds a bit like something Bill Clinton once said!”

    Exactly what I thought. Of course, I’m a lot more advanced than any goddamm jew god…

  16. 16

    Dan Brown spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 5:21 pm

    And I really don’t give a rat’s ass about Aurora, Steve… If you are deranged enough to go to a batman flick…

  17. 17

    Ekim spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 5:44 pm

    13. Baron Schmeg spews:

    5. Richard Pope spews:
    Goldy left out the last sentence of I Kings 1:4 (Contemporary English Version),

    “But David did not have sex with her.”

    07/22/2012 AT 10:20 AM

    Huh? you mean a “journalist”(insert laughter here) from the Stranger would deliberately leave out important information to as to convey the wrong message?

    Only a Schmeg would have assumed some sort of deviant sexual act, but we are well aware of our troll’s attachment to goats, physical as well as emotional.

  18. 18

    Ekim spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 5:49 pm

    Goldy posted the link to 1 Kings 1:1-4 so you could read all of it, which is what I did before reading the comment thread.

    I personally made the assumption that what Goldy was suggesting we discuss was the part he posted, not the missing part, which I remind you includes the rest of the Bible.

  19. 19

    Ekim spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 5:53 pm

    My father in law is over 100 and still kicking. One thing has changed. He now prefers a very warm room temperature. We keep his room about 85. That and an electric blanket seems to work pretty well for him.

  20. 20

    Ekim spews:

    Sunday, 7/22/12 at 6:04 pm

    My first reading through Goldy’s post reminded me of something I read many years ago concerning hypothermia and body contact. A quick Google search came up with this:

    In severe hypothermia, the best hypothermia treatment is best for three people to get under a pile of blankets or in a sleeping bag. Skin on skin contact of the torso works best with a person on each side of the victim. You should ignore their pleas to be left alone or allowed to go to sleep, but be gentle with them.

  21. 21

    Baron Samedi spews:

    Monday, 7/23/12 at 5:51 am

    I personally made the assumption that what Goldy was suggesting we discuss was the part he posted, not the missing part, which I remind you includes the rest of the Bible.

    07/22/2012 AT 5:49 PM

    heh – is that like assuming F-22’s cost “$400 billion each”!!!!!111111leleven…

    nice….assumption……

  22. 22

    Ekim spews:

    Monday, 7/23/12 at 7:01 am

    21. Baron Schmeg spews:

    heh – is that like assuming F-22’s cost “$400 billion each”!!!!!111111leleven…

    nice….assumption……

    Well actually, I did a bit of research. One of the best write-ups was done by Military.com in their article “What Does an F-22 Cost?” They conclude the cost is $394 million per F-22 and rising. Other sources think the cost is even higher.

    And you’re still a schmeg.

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