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Deuteronomy 23:18
Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore, or the price of a dog, into the house of the Lord thy God for any vow: for even both these are abomination unto the Lord thy God.

Discuss.

Comments

  1. 1

    The Catholics have a slightly different wording:

    You shall not offer a prostitute’s fee or a dog’s pay as any kind of votive offering in the house of the LORD, your God; both these things are an abomination to the LORD, your God.

    And from their footnotes:

    * [23:18–19] Temple prostitute: Heb. qedesha, lit., “holy one,” a title of the goddess of fertility. The role or function of the qedesha is debated; some see this as simply a term for a prostitute (Heb. zona). Others see it as designating a cultic role but not necessarily one involving sexual activity. The evidence is insufficient to give a final answer.

    * [23:19] Dog’s pay: “dog” is a derogatory term for a male temple prostitute.

  2. 2

    Verse 2 of Deut 23 reads:

    No one whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may come into the assembly of the LORD.

    Which may explain why puddles is the way he is.

  3. 3

    Verse 18: No female or male prostitutes in church.

    The rest of the chapter is a hoot too! Some samples:

    You’re not welcome in church if your balls are injured or your penis has been cut-off.

    Or if you’re a bastard, you and your progeny are not welcome for ten generations.

    You can hate Ammonites and Moabites but not Edomites and Egyptians.

    You can loan money and charge as much interest as you can get away with to anyone but other Jews.

    Oh, and make sure you bury your shit outside of camp.

    This is the living, divinely inspired word of motherfucking God!?

    If you’ve actually read this and you’re still religious, then you’re just too dumb to live and a danger to yourself and others.

  5. 5

    @4
    Homey!

    Why aren’t you in church?!

  6. 6

    @3 C’mon! Everyone knows the Old Testament is a 5000 BCE sanitation manual. The real Bible doesn’t start until Matthew 1.

  8. 8

    We rabbits just do it in the leaves. And our shit doesn’t stink nearly as much as you humans. The Great Mother Rabbit Spirit only knows what your species has been eating.

  9. 9

    @5: Bible Study is WAY better than any church. Pastor Goldstein, I salute you!

    I haven’t been inside a church for at least forty years.

  10. 10

    Interesting passage in the light of the fact that so many politicians run on their “Christianity” and claim to speak for “God” when speechifying their crap on the floor.

    All one has to do is claim to be a “Christian” in this country, and one can get away with child rape, securities fraud, armed robbery, murder, burglary, drug dealing, cannibalism, slavery and embezzlement of public funds.

    Atheists need not apply. They can’t be trusted to handle Government office.

  11. 11

    “Verse 18: No female or male prostitutes in church.”

    That must be where the expression “lost as a whore in church” comes from.

  12. 12

    Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore, or the price of a dog, into the house of the Lord

    That right there is just good solid good advice.

    @9
    Isn’t it Rabbi Goldstein?

  13. 13

    @12: Thought about that, but I know that Goldy is an atheist. So, I figured since the question from LS was church (vice synagogue) that pastor was proper in the context.

    Besides, I thought the irony of “Pastor Goldstein” was just too good to pass up.

  15. 15

    WORD:

    There are plenty of reasons to vote against Mitt Romney even if he agreed with us on policy. He isn’t the kind of person who should be in public life, except perhaps as a “heel” character on pro wrestling. People like him should peak in high school and then go learn their life lessons through hard knocks in obscurity. Had it not been for Romney’s wealth and pedigree, that is exactly what would have happened. Perhaps it is rather low brow to want a public leader who actually has a heart and a moral compass that aims true. Who laughs without ulterior motive. Who doesn’t think legal entities are the same thing as human beings. But if there are voters who vote against Mitt Romney because they just can’t stand him, that’s fine with me. I’m right there with them.

  17. 17

    “Rabbi” is hebrew for “Doctor” and implies learnedness … not belief.

    Rabbis certainly can believe I do not exist …. indeed one reason I admire the Prophet Goldstein is that he and I agree
    on my non existance.

    As a token of My respect, I ask all who believe in Me, reognize David as my Prophet.

  19. 19

    @17, GOD:

    Rabbi certainly fits. Mensch, most likely. Prophet is a stretch, although Goldy is usually an accurate discerner of political outcomes.

    And, um: You don’t exist, obviating the status of “your” Prophet, you patronizing old jew you.

    How’s your lumbago?

  20. 20

    Yeah, those Republican’s really know how to make a bid’ness work.

    Early last week, Gov. Lincoln Chafee let it be known that Mr. Schilling’s company, 38 Studios, had failed to make a required $1.1 million payment to the Rhode Island Economic Development Corporation. The state, he said, was scrambling to help 38 Studios stay solvent.

    On Thursday, representatives from 38 Studios delivered a check for the overdue $1.1 million to the economic development agency, but acknowledged it would bounce. They also told state officials that the company had not been able to make its payroll that week.

    Former Gov. Donald L. Carcieri, a conservative Republican, orchestrated the deal between the state and Mr. Schilling’s start-up company, which promised to bring 450 jobs to Providence in exchange for the $75 million loan guarantee. Mr. Carcieri and Mr. Schilling, a fellow conservative who has campaigned for Republican candidates, first met at a fund-raising event at the Schilling home in Medfield, Mass., in 2010.
    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05......html?_r=1

    For the record, I don’t think either side of the political aisle has a lock on how to run businesses.

  22. 22

    Zotz

    The title “Rabbi” is conveyed by an official institution … just like doctorates.

    The prophet Goldy graduated from an uncertified college that does not have the authority to convey the title Rabbi. I do think U Penn should give the Prophet an honorary doctorate.

    As for asking whether I can declare someone a prophet. If God can not do this who can? The Mormon church claims to be able to make dead folks Mormons. The Pope confers Sainthood on dead folks. Only the Deity can identify true Prophets.

    I AM THAT I AM.

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