1 Timothy 5:23
Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.
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This explains something I’ve wondered about for a long time. If God is drunk most of the time, the world makes sense.
Hell, yeah, booze it up and let Jesus take the wheel!
@2 I was thinking more in terms of Jesus boozing it up and taking the wheel. From that perspective, a lot of things that otherwise don’t make sense begin to add up.
@3 “You are a stupid kind of god, or by nature you are unjust.” Euripides from “The Madness of Heracles”
This could be the advice for the Eagles because they aren’t living life in the fast lane, and maybe are listening too much too Hotel California.
Maybe coach Carrol will add a little wine to todays go get them San Franciscans that are visiting today.
Still most football players prefer wine to beer, that could be a hump to get over, and the beer endorsements. Don’t see a lot of wine commercials during football games. Not even for the Eagles.
Obviously Timothy is into the Tuscany diet. This is one of the earliest endorsements for the health benefits of wine, and today the debate rages on with one study saying some wine in moderation has benefits and others coming up with other results. Then there are the studies based only on the knowledge within the Bible to totally confuse the issue. There may be some who will claim Timothy is talking only about fruit juice, or the Roman soldier offered Jesus fruit juice instead of wine. Odd haven’t come across any Israeli wines in a wine store. Seems the soil was good for wine at one time.
“Fruit Juice” as we think of it today for all practical purposes didn’t exist in biblical times. There was fruit of course. And if dried it could be preserved. If boiled into syrup to concentrate the sugars and kill some of the yeast, it could be kept for a few weeks. But remember, there was no pasteurization and no refrigeration. If you pressed fruit to extract the juice, it turned to wine in a few days. And if that took place under the right conditions, the wine would keep almost indefinitely. So as human societies established agriculture, wine was a principal means by which fruit harvest, particularly juice, could be preserved.
Fresh squeezed grape juice was called “new wine” in the New Testament… Stooooooooooopid HA DUMMOCRETINS! Seems DUMMOCRETINS all over want to try to justify the drinking of alcohol by saying that Jesus made alcoholic wine. Just look at the horsesASS manure commentary above!
Pfffffffffffft!
Proverbs 20:1 – “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise”
Isaiah 16:10 – “No treaders will tread out wine in the presses; I have made their shouting cease.”
Isaiah 65:8 – “Thus says the Lord, ‘As the new wine is found in the cluster, and one says do not destroy it’”.
Habakkuk 2:15 – “Woe to him who gives drink to his neighbor, pressing him to the bottle, even to make him drunk, that you may look on his nakedness.”
Soooooooooooooo moronic fiend DUMMOCRETINS, what is the alcoholic content in the new wine in a cluster of grapes? Zip! Zilch! Zero! Nada! It wasn’t alcoholic… butt keep thinking that because, well, y’all are losers anyway! The Bible doesn’t contradict itself, no matter what libtard sites propose! God changes not!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
“Fresh squeezed grape juice…”
available once a year for about one week.
After that it was Red Bull or nuthin.
“…or the Roman soldier offered Jesus fruit juice…”
Said to have take place in spring (March or April). Couldn’t have been “fresh squeezed”. Unless the events took place in South America, Australia, New Zealand, or South Africa.
Doofus @10,
Did Jesus drink it?
Sheeeeeeeeeeesh whatatard!
My reading of those passages in your cult’s book of fables describes Jesus accepting the offer of wine. Tasting it. Discovering it was “sour” and made bitter either with “gall” or “myrrh” (Mark vs Mathew? I’m going from memory here) and only then refusing it. I dunno. Sounds alot like he “didn’t inhale”. Mmmkay.
Is tasting… drinking?
Maybe to libtards perhaps!
@8 The alcoholic content in new grapes can be high under the right circumstances. Circumstances common to the middle east. Drunk birds are hilarious, and drunk rabbits are amusing. The real clowns are squirrels. Talk about high speed fun.
After all the content in a 16 ounce beer, a 10 ounce glass of wine, and a shot of whiskey is the same.
Thank goodness for Rock an Roll.
@11 He would have had a Red Bull which gives you wings. Fortunately for the Romans Red Bull didn’t come along for centuries. Which is too bad for Spartacus. Someone not in the bible nor any possible mention of him so bible thumpers can’t mention him.
We could go ask Lewis Carroll’s Alice. Things making her tall or small. Or don’t do anything at all. And Libertarians are cool about the drinking and something psychedelic. Isn’t Jefferson Starship cool?
@13,
The clear implication to anyone not wedded to dogma would be that whenever one accepts an offer of wine one intends to “drink” it. Upon tasting, the wine being offered may be found unpalatable having been adulterated and thus declined. But the intent remains. We may safely presume that Jesus intended to drink wine. Ergo Jesus did not agree with prescriptions against wine.
Either that or the apostles got drunk and lied.
We may safely presume that Jesus intended to drink wine.
Still stooooooooooooopid! Matt 26:29 – “But I say unto you, I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine, until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.”
To drink – take (a liquid) into the mouth and swallow.
See how easy that was lib the racist unscientist?
Wouldn’t be the first politician to make a promise he wouldn’t keep.