1 Samuel 5:6
But the hand of the LORD was heavy upon those of Ashdod, and He destroyed them and smote them with hemorrhoids.
Discuss.
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This seems to be pretty ambiguous. Did he smite them with his hemorrhoids, or did he inflict hemorrhoids upon them ?
We need clarification here.
It is now 300 days since the foreign-born Wall Street insider Rafael Cruz declared his ambition to occupy The White House. And the legally embattled Cruz continues to withhold the crucial documents establishing his citizenship status.
Oy vey ist mir! The Lord! hits below the belt!
This is an all-powerful god? I’d be more impressed if he nuked them.
Of course if you read the passage in context why didn’t the Philistines do the logical thing and destroy the Ark, Find a hobbit to throw it into Mt Doom if axes and saws fail. The ark is like a stray cat you can’t get rid of. Yet today where is it? In a church in Ethiopia where it’s sitting pretty and not giving hemorrhoids to anyone and generally the condition makes folks with it miserable but is not necessarily fatal.
The Indiana Jones version of the Ark is pretty impressive though.
And god does a poor job of smiting as David later hangs out with Philistines. Like a Greek Prince who later comes back to take the city from whoever holds the city rightly his.
@5 How can a city be “rightfully his” unless he built it with his own hands? And who can build an entire city himself? Of course, it’s possible for an individual to own a city under the social systems you stupid humans devise; but then, you stupid humans aren’t known for the justice of your social systems. It seems to us rabbits that because it takes many people to build a city the correct terminology is “rightfully theirs.” But feel free to argue this is splitting hares.
@6 Surely Sir Rabbit you would not want to bask in the light of Louis the 16th. Surely you would subject yourself to him as you too would be his subject. As he owns you the city, the woods, your very hole all belong to him and his progeny as he rules and surely god approves. If the King should fall and be usurped the Prince will come and surely you Sir Rabbit will support your just and mighty ruler. If not off to the gallows,..nope off to the kitchen with you. Some serve the rightful king in different ways.
Yes Sir Rabbit it can be confusing that Machiavelli wrote “The Prince when surely his heart was with his thoughts “Discourses_on_Livy” which is closer to your and my thoughts as to who owns a city. Still we will never be lost of Creon, though often he means well on his path to becoming tyrant.
Shall we drink and dance to Baccus for a bit.