Dwight Pelz is the chair of the Washington State Democratic Party. He used to be a state senator and a King County councilman. In 2004, he was one of the most prominent backers of Howard Dean in this state. He was elected to his current position this January, and, from what I’ve gathered, he’s up for reelection early next year. We’ve all heard the leadership shake-up rumors over in GOP headquarters, with Luke “The Pig Fucker” Esser considering challenging current chair Diane “Tubeless” Tebelius. Even though Dwight led the Democrats to an earth-shattering, mind-blowing victory in ’06, with the GOP getting a royal ass-kicking, some are questioning Dwight’s conduct post-victory. Some are even questioning Dwight’s leadership.
If you knew Dwight like I do, you’d know the REAL story…
Here are… The Dwight Pelz Facts!!
1. Dwight Pelz was born in Seattle, WA in 1951. Well, he wasn’t so much born as he was forged. You know, like a sword. But instead of being made of out metal, Dwight Pelz was forged out of the tears of Republican children.
2. The name “Pelz” is Swedish for “go fuck yourself.”
3. You know the port wine stain on Paul Berendt’s forehead? It’s not a birthmark. It’s actually wine. And who put it there? Dwight Pelz. Scary, I know.
4. While Sen. Tim Sheldon (D-Potlatch) is AGAINST gun-control, he’s FOR Dwight-control.
5. In 2008, Dino Rossi is going to run… away in fear, that is, from Dwight Pelz. Rossi will make it seem like he’s running for Governor, but he’s really just shit-scared of Dwight.
6. By the year 2010, the Puget Sound area will be rid of it’s dependence on foreign oil. Instead of gasoline, our cars will run on Dwight’s unbridled rage at the Sonics for leaving Seattle.
7. In 2002, Dwight Pelz visited the Granma Province in Cuba. Four years later, Fidel Castro’s in a fuckin’ coma. ‘Nuff said.
8. Dwight Pelz once called Tim Eyman a “self-aggrandizing punk.” Tim’s really scared. Now, whenever Tim makes a public appearance, he wears a disguise. Some of those disguises are: Buzz Lightyear, a Heterosexual Man, and Darth Vader.
These are just some of “The Dwight Pelz Facts.” Trust me when I say this Democrats… we’re lucky Dwight’s on OUR side.
Belltowner said Dick and got his chopped off. Man they are tough over there on Washblog. What do they chop off if you say ass?
Oh, man. Will pelts us with Peltz facts.
Over at uSP they’ll be dyin’ from Diane facts….or spewing the lesser know side of L.Esser.
Sorry, I couldn’t resist….
Will, you forgat to mention that Dights hair fell out as a result of windsurfing too fast.
Hell yeah Will! We picked up 6 seats in both houses, Maria kicked McGavick’s ass back to the same cell he sat in 12 years ago for blowing a 0.17…Dwight’s clearly doing something right.
Dwight has perfected the technique for removing Republican testicles without benefit of anesthesia or sterile instruments. He’s what Washington Democrats need, for now. If and when politics around here becomes less of a blood sport, perhaps someone else should take the reins. In the meantime, we are lucky to have someone who regularly exceeds the daily bag limit on Republicans.
Despite a bunch of made up stuff about Dwight, I’m still not a big fan.
You’re still ticked off that there isn’t an offical Wa Dems blog? You’ve had that in your craw since April? Really? Aren’t there bigger things to worry about? Remember, those that don’t blog tend to underestimate their usefulness, those that do blog tend to overestimate their usefulness.
Great post Will!
It’ll probably be in my craw until someone at the state levels does something like Demnotes from CO or the old Growohio.org. If that’s in my craw, not a bad thing to be there.
@ 6
Made up stuff? You’re saying I made this up?
Nonsense!!!
Dwight Pelz is ALL of this and more. Did you know that Dwight’s urine is so powerful, King County had to build Brightwater Treatment Facility to process it?
Did you know that Dwight’s Prius is a hybrid? It runs on gasoline AND human misery.
The truth is, Dwight DOES have a blog. It’s not on the Internet. It’s written on the surface of the Sun.
*Rolls eyes*
Thurston County chair John Cusick is so powerful, he convinced Tim Sheldon to spray paint Mason County blue.
@10 – ??
Nice try! Keep working at it.
Yeah, I know, my skills of making stuff up pale in comparison.
Emmett, try this one:
Thurston County chair John Cusick drives a school bus covered in human skulls.
That’s what I’m talking about!
Will, looking at #7 in your list and the unknown fact about Dwight’s powerful urine (coment 10)it strikes me that Castro never put in much of a treatment plant and that Dwight may have ruined the ground water when he visited Cuba.
@ 15
That’s not true. Cuba has lots of problems, but Dwight-related groundwater contamination isn’t one of them.
Dwight is like a camel. He pisses every leap year.
I’ve got a moss problem on my driveway. Any chance Dwight could come pee on it? I’d prefer to avoid renting a pressure washer and it sounds like his pee would provide a longer lasting solution.
Hey
Does Maria Cantwell still support the war in Iraq?
How far can this blog stick its tongue up Dwight Pelz ass?
Is it true that Nickels spent 250k of taxpayer money on a private Sting concert?
Will all the new transit money be squirelled into the County general fund, or just most of it?
Do we need a new blog that questions power, rather than polishing it?
busdrivermike @ 18
The best part of this blog is that I can say this;
FUCK YOU!!
Have a good evening!
What a lame rip off of the Chuck Norris is so bad skit. Nice plagerization. Is that a word? :D
When Dwight Pelz heard the 45th District couldn’t find a candidate for State Senate, he grabbed a Playboy and a bottle of lotion and went into his office alone. 10 minutes later, he emerged with a naked Eric Omeg.
@ 20
To plagerize (sp?) is to claim anothers work as ones own. I’m not doing that. I’m spoofing, I’m doing a send-up of the original Chuck Norris Facts.
I thought about putting in a link to CNF, but I didn’t want to spoil the joke!
http://www.ChuckNorrisFacts.com
Nice one, Susan! A little gross, but good.
When Christine Gregoire came up short in 2004, Dwight Pelz astrally projected an image of himself backwards in time onto the corneas of 200 sleeping King County voters. The rest is history.
Good one Will, friggin cracked me up.
Dino came up short and he is still short.
Hey Goldy – How’s is going monetizing HA? Are you doing as well as Tim?
We’d all like to know if you are as successful as Tim.
Ok, I’ll give it a shot:
Dwight Pelz is a normal guy like you and me. He puts his pants on one leg at a time. But he uses the legs of his GOP opponents.
Dwight Pelz takes his coffee with no cream, two sugars, and the extract of human soul.
A little known fact: Dwight Pelz had a Jewish wedding. Well, similar to a Jewish wedding. Instead of stepping on a glass, he crushed the Washington State GOP under his heel.
Oy…somebody stop me…
Mark “the redneck” Kennedy @ 27
Hey…didn’t you just get your ass kicked in Minnesota?
BTW, have you made good on your bet with Goldy yet? Or were you simply upholding the wingnut ideal of moral bankruptcy?
Hate to spoil this hilarious lovefest for Pelz but getting some Dems elected in a blue state this year should have been a no brainer. You are all followers.
Pelz will never regain his stature with me for his high-handed censoring of anybody but his mainstream candidates. I’m for liberals but not enough to sell my integrity.
He did nothing to further the conversation or move the party forward.
Good job, Will. Can I say dick here? To bad about Washblog, I have some things to say, but I quit in the face of excessive authoritarian hardball BS.
If Brian reads this, FAQ does not stand for Rules or Law. It stands for Frequently Asked Questions.
Oh please,
Dwight Pelz had as much to do with the 2006 Democratic landslide as Maria Cantwell will have in solving the war in Iraq.
Right place, right time.
I know, I know, fuck me.
Now, what is the over/under on the time it will take for our Democratic “leadership” to form the circular firing squad?
@ 30
That’s the usual post victory bitch-fest fodder. I know, Debi Golden got bumped in the 48th in favor of Rodney Tom. Any other examples? Winning sucks sometimes… :)
@ 31
Dave, for me to go into details about my feelings on the whole matter would seem a bit, I don’t know, petty. But one thing is ABSOLUTELY clear: You can say ‘dick’ at HA, and what’s more, I will NEVER ban you for calling me out on my bullshit no matter what words you use. I’d urge you to head over to blogger.com and start your own blog with an Eastern WA perspective. I think you’ll like it!
@ 32
You’re ok in my book. Here’s the crux of the issue for me: if WA state had only gain couple of seats or had stayed neutral, Dwight would have been blamed. If Cantwell lost, Dwight would have been blamed. In fact, there are folks who are blaming Dwight for the job he DID do, even though the results are fantastic. When the teams loses, the coach gets blamed. I think it’s fair to give the coach SOME credit when they win in a blowout.
Will: “That’s the usual post victory bitch-fest fodder.”
Screw you. Typical answer from a typical follower of conventional wisdom. Celebrate now cause it won’t last. You belong in a studio apartment overlooking a viaduct. I’m sure you wouldn’t appreciate the view if you had one.
@ 34
Look, you can shoot invectives at me and my pad (I never said I didn’t like my digs), but that doesn’t change things.
Dude, we won. Please tell me what you would have liked to have seen done different.
@16 I’m an old rabbit, and I have to piss every 45 minutes.
@20 Chuck Norris wants everyone to think he’s a flag-waving badass, but he’s just an actor and I’ll bet he doesn’t pay his taxes.
@20 (continued) Btw, has Norris ever made a movie that wasn’t truly awful? No, didn’t think so.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa! We won! Winning sucks! Boo hoooooooo! Now I look like a moron when I bitch about Dem leadership! Hong Tran was the answer! Cantwell’s the devil, and Dwight worships at her alter! Whaaaaaaaaaa!
Seriously though skagit – cry me a freakin river. We won – life is good, move on.
24 A weak literary effort, Susan. Very weak. I’m only a 16 inch high, 16-lb. rabbit … and I can do better than that. Here goes:
When the Democrats starting collecting signatures to validate ballots with signature problems, the Republicans did the same thing. The Democrats collected over 1,000 signatures, of which over 700 were validated. (Remember, Gregoire’s victory margin was 133 votes.) The Republicans collected only 1/3 as many signatures (they got a late start, and didn’t have as many volunteers), but if we assume about 70% of theirs were valid too, they had roughly 200 votes in hand. But guess what? The Republicans’ lawyers told them not to turn in their signatures because they were arguing in court the Democrats’ signatures should be thrown out and turning in their signatures might undermine their argument! Well guess what happened … the Republicans followed their advice, the lawyers lost in court and the Democrats’ signatures were counted, and the Republicans never turned in their signatures so theirs weren’t counted. So the Republicans threw away 200 votes for Dino Rossi. (Remember, Gregoire’s victory margin was 133 votes.) Now THAT’s a great story! And funny, too!
Your turn, Susan.
P.S., my next story is about how the Republicans paid their lawyers $2,000,000.00 (TWO MILLION DOLLARS) for their legal advice.
HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR
Will and Willis, Willis and Will . . . I expect more. Why do you guys just settle? We need more than “just winning.”
Sorry but yes, Hong Tran. So, you guys don’t care about what should make liberalism the better choice . . . ideas, debate and inclusiveness? Well, if winning is all . . . then losing will follow. And none of us will be the better for having won.
I don’t imagine you sports fans will get that.
Hey Susan, I don’t want to steal your thunder or anything, but if you’re having trouble coming up with good story ideas (writer’s block is a bitch), let me offer a suggestion. I’ll just sketch an outline and you can fill in the descriptive details.
Hi. My name is Susan. This is my story. I’m a lowly, low-paid underling in the private sector. I slave away all day in a stuffy office, working alongside intolerably stuffy co-workers, to make a few bucks. But I believe in the American Dream! I believe — oh, I sooo want to believe — that anybody can make it big in this country while waiting for their inheritance from daddy. I know in my Republican heart that opportunity is everywhere and anything is possible — if only we could get government off our backs! So, to help make my American Dream possible, I tithed 10% of my small salary to Dino Rossi’s Legal Action Fund for three months after the election! I know that money was well spent because it went to the smartest lawyers in America! I did my part to fight the good fight, and it gives me a warm glow in my breast.
Okay, Susan, ball’s in your court.
Gawd Rabbit, I wish somebody would flood your hole.
Perhaps this is why “the left” can’t seem to sustain our victories–people whining about labels and semantics.
It seems to me that Dwight’s point is true. Democrats better start working on middle class issues if we truly want to change this country for the good.
Anybody who doesn’t think Dwight is progressive enough doesn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground. Dwight was far more progressive an an elected official than almost anyone I know. People who were paying attention would remember he was one of the first elected officials to come out against the war.
Hey Susan, don’t forget to mention the Republican lawyers LOST their case before a hand-picked Republican judge in a hand-picked Republican county … I’m sure you can dream up a spiffy rationalization for THAT!!!
HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR*
* The expression “HAR HAR HAR” is a common law copyright and trademark of Roger Rabbit Political Posts, and may not be used without the express written permission of Roger Rabbit or his legal representatives — or I’ll sue your ass!
44 Mother Nature sure has been trying, but thanks to some ingenious piping I installed last spring, I was able to divert all the water into my underground swimming pool.
We just won . . . Of course, it was all Pelz. Republican corruption and the Iraq war had nuttin’ to do with it. Well, excuse me.
With Dem intellectuals like you guys, we’ll be scratchin’ our heads and sayin’ “wha happened” by 2012 and it’ll be another twenty years. When we censor our own, when we cannibalize our own, we are no longer the party of ideas but the party of has-beens. You have no vision.
45 All I can tell you is I’ve been a Democrat since 1965 because of middle class issues. Access to education. Health care. Economic security. Fair taxes. A retirement plan. All that stuff … but the Democratic program boils down to one word: Opportunity. Republicans want it only for themselves; Democrats want it for everyone. That’s what makes us different from them, and that’s why I’m one of us, and no longer one of them.
So, yes, the middle class issues are utterly, utterly important if Democrats want to win elections.
The old time Democrats used to say, “We’re Democrats so we can live like Republicans someday.”
49 I’m against censorship! Not sure what you mean by “cannabalize.” It has always seemed to me that our openness to self-criticism, our willingness to debate issues, and to do these things out in the open is one of our strengths. Yeah, liberals veer off course occasionally, but we’re better at self-correcting our mistakes than the Good Ol’ Perverts party — precisely because we’re willing to thrash things out.
49 Furthermore, I just want you to know that I know what goes on among Skagit County Democrats …
… but I’m saving that story for a rainy day.
Rabbit: ” It has always seemed to me that our openness to self-criticism, our willingness to debate issues, and to do these things out in the open is one of our strengths.
Then why deny Hong Tran her opportunities to be heard in the primary? If that’s who we are – open, self-critical and willing to hear all comers – why did Pelz deny Tran? Or was he running scared? I don’t respect people who operate out of fear.
Hong Tran is a fine person and Maria’s history on the war is dismaying. I think Dwight made the calculus that 2006 was no time to fuck around with vanity campaigns from people who couldn’t fundraise their way out of a paper bag.
In #48 you say, We just won . . . Of course, it was all Pelz. Republican corruption and the Iraq war had nuttin’ to do with it. Well, excuse me.
Well, I never said it was all Pelz did I? But I found the second part of your quote more interesting. We won’t always have Republican corruption and the war as issues. We had better get back to working on the middle class issues Roger Rabbit mentions to build a winning coalition.
Well, if not in this no-brainer year, then when?
Sorry, you make a weak argument in support of a censoring Dem. I don’t buy it. The very middle class issues you and Rabbit cite were the ones Hong tried to put on the table. And, it was the primary.
Finally, why shouldn’t people have choice and be allowed to hear them? Pelz is just another good ol’ boy politician and we’ll be stuck with the same party politics under him. But, like you said: winning is all. I’m not that scared that people couldn’t hear what Hong had to say and the Dems still take the election. She was trying to add to the discussion but Pelz closed the door in her face.
55 I heard Tran speak several times. I didn’t see any Democrats denying her a stage. Televised debates are controlled by the TV stations, not the candidates. I thought Tran got her message out. Most, if not all, Democrats in this state knew she was running against Cantwell in the primary as an anti-war candidate. There was a LOT of discussion about Cantwell’s Iraq vote (and a number of her other votes) among all the Democrats I know. People were openly discussing whether it was a good idea to do something about their dissatisfaction with Cantwell know, or close ranks and defeat McGavick. Remember, all this happened BEFORE the election and BEFORE anyone realized the election would turn into a Democratic blowout. And remember this, too — the Democrats held the Senate by a 1-vote majority from 2001-2003 only because Cantwell won in 2000, and the Democrats will hold the Senate by a 1-vote majority in 2007-2009 only because Cantwell won in 2006. This was not the year to be divided among ourselves; the vast majority of Democrats who are dissatisfied with Cantwell held their noses and voted for her because they realized ending the GOP’s hegemony over Congress and national policy was an overriding priority. Tran would not have done significantly better at the polls even if she’d had more money, more exposure, had been invited to every forum and televised event, etc. Tran was NOT shut out; it was simply a matter of liberal voters casting their votes pragmatically. They realized Tran would not have won a statewide race.
56 et al. – On the subject of Pelz’s leadership, a party leader can’t win elections, but he sure as hell can lose them. A state party that’s disorganized, dispirited, or poorly led simply can’t provide the support its candidates need. A football coach never throws or carries the ball, and doesn’t throw a single block or make even one tackle — but do you think any team could win without a good coach? The WSDP is fortunate to have someone with Pelz’s experience, know-how, and charisma. Let’s give credit where credit is due, we have a fine coach, and the coach matters.
57 I don’t see where Tran was censored.
Chuck Norris was an Air Force policeman who never saw combat. He got out of the military in ’62. By then, everyone saw Vietnam coming, and if he was really a patriot he would have re-enlisted to serve in a real war. Instead, he chose to become a silver screen warrior. Hey, to give credit where credit is due, Norris worked his way up the competitive karate game to become a martial arts champion — which is no mean accomplishment. But Norris’s movies, without exception, are awful — the guy is no actor — and he’s a wingnut who spouts the Christian Right talking points and claims evolution doesn’t exist. This guy is no intellectual.
skagit says: Gawd Rabbit, I wish somebody would flood your hole. 12/13/2006 at 12:20 am
I love it when Moobat!s eat their own!
Roger Rabbit says:
Chuck Norris was an Air Force policeman who never saw combat. He got out of the military in ‘62. By then, everyone saw Vietnam coming, and if he was really a patriot he would have re-enlisted to serve in a real war. Instead, he chose to become a silver screen warrior. Hey, to give credit where credit is due, Norris worked his way up the competitive karate game to become a martial arts champion — which is no mean accomplishment. But Norris’s movies, without exception, are awful — the guy is no actor — and he’s a wingnut who spouts the Christian Right talking points and claims evolution doesn’t exist. This guy is no intellectual. 12/13/2006 at 11:51 am
Damn, we’ve been saying the same thing about you for years now on HorsesAss!
Rabbit: Hong was shut out. If you spent any time at all anywhere else but this site, you’d have seen her own post on Postman where she clearly articulated her treatment by Pelz. It was disgusting.
Also, more team sport analogies? Like I said, you superficial good ol’ boys will be revisiting the likes of the last twenty years in another ten years.
That’s why you are still a government hack, Rabbit.