Man fuck English ivy. Ban the shit out of it. I have pulled so many of the fuckers. I imagine many of you who aren’t apartment dwellers have pulled even more. They’re invasive fuckers and they choke out natives. Yuck.
But also whenever I see ivy sold at a garden store or whatever I have to wonder who buys it. Like fine, it can be a decorative indoor plant that can be contained to a pot. Just fucking grab some clippers and grab yourself some. Look at all those goddam roots, you don’t need to buy it. Honestly, if you’re buying it, you can’t be trusted with it.
And if you’re looking for outdoor use, why not go eat shit instead?