Goldy

Exodus 35:2
For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a day of sabbath rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it is to be put to death.

Discuss

Leviticus 11:20-22
All flying insects that walk on all fours are to be regarded as unclean by you. There are, however, some flying insects that walk on all fours that you may eat: those that have jointed legs for hopping on the ground. Of these you may eat any kind of locust, katydid, cricket or grasshopper.

Discuss.

Leviticus 26:29
And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

Happy Father’s Day. Discuss.

Genesis 27:11
And Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, Behold, Esau my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man.

Discuss.

Deuteronomy 12:15-16
However, you may slaughter and eat meat within any of your towns, as much as you desire, according to the blessing of the LORD your God that he has given you. The unclean and the clean may eat of it, as of the gazelle and as of the deer. Only you shall not eat the blood; you shall pour it out on the earth like water.

Discuss.

Job 3:2
He said:

Discuss.

1 Thessalonians 4:16-17
For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.

Those of you who have been left behind, discuss.

Genesis 2:3
Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

Discuss.

Still waiting for President Obama to speak, but sources tell me that the CIA tracked down Osama bin Laden’s location via his iPhone. Happy “Spring Offensive,” Taliban!

Consider this a Dance on bin Laden’s Grave open thread.

UPDATE:
Not a Predator attack, not renal failure, but a US Special Operations mission (Navy Seals), eight months in the making. Meanwhile, let’s all take a moment to remember the immortal words of former President George W. Bush:

“So I don’t know where he is. You know, I just don’t spend that much time on him. And, again, I don’t know where he is. I — I’ll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him.”
— 03/13/2002

Deuteronomy 28:22
The LORD shall smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish.

Discuss.

1 Timothy 5:23
Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake and thine often infirmities.

Discuss.

Malachi 2:2-3
If you do not listen, and if you do not resolve to honor my name,” says the LORD Almighty, “I will send a curse on you, and I will curse your blessings. Yes, I have already cursed them, because you have not resolved to honor me.

“Because of you I will rebuke your descendants; I will smear on your faces the dung from your festival sacrifices, and you will be carried off with it.

Discuss.

Leviticus 25:44-46
Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. You can bequeath them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly.

In honor of the 150th anniversary of the Civil War, discuss.

So, I kept up the Sunday “Bible Study” posts after moving to Slog, partially out of habit, and partially just to keep my fingers in the muck that is HA, but if you couldn’t tell by my late postings these past couple weeks, I’m getting a little tired of the schtick.

The original idea was this: Goldy quotes offensive/bizarre/awful Bible verse entirely out of context—you know, just like the Bible thumpers often do—and then righties get all angry at Goldy for posting Bible verse out of context… even though I did so without comment. Predictable, yeah. But surprisingly amusing, and occasionally fascinating.

But now it just feels repetitive. (That said, I’m seriously considering recycling some of the “best of” Bible verses over at Slog, mostly out of laziness.)

Anyway, if folks really want this feature to continue, I might oblige, or perhaps the current HA crew might consider taking it over. Or if you think it’s time to nail this particular joke to the cross, I don’t think I’d disagree. Either way, let me know in the comment thread.

Matthew 5:34-37
But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God’s throne: Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King. Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black. But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

Fucking discuss.